Finally Beginning, Never Ending
by Alia el Bolock
Summary: After 10 years of oppressing their feelings, they, and apparently everyone around them, has had enough. Though they've only just opened up to each other, it feels like they've been a couple for a lifetime and will remain so till the end of time.
1. Unexpected Visitor

**Ok so this is my first fan fiction ever! I've always loved to write but never on a large scale, so please any feedback and criticism would help. I hope you enjoy the story and tell me whatever part you don't like or find unsuitable. Hopefully you all wanna see this couple in a hopelessly romantic relationship as much as I do and won't find this story too fairy taley.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or the show, any wrong data in the stories is mine, and I don't own any of the songs inspiring my stories. **

**Chapter 1**

**Homer was now entering through the Stargate; he had finally dialed the right address after so long… he was headed towards P3X199 also known as the Bikini Paradise, home of Mary Steenburgen.**

**The whooshing sound of the gate was suddenly interrupted by a slight bang, which caused Homer to slowly start regaining consciousness. Albeit in these first moments of awareness, he couldn't quite make out any of his surroundings… what was that sound and why did he feel that fuzzy hair like material when he started scratching his bald head….**

**The bangs started to get louder and then turned into heavy knocks. 'Probably knocks on wood' he explained to himself. Apparently, this wood was a door and that door was most likely that of his own house… Then after a few more thought streams passed through his brain, he figured out that it was definitely someone knocking at his door, and that the fact that his scalp was covered with frizzy hair, was because in the land of the waking he was Major General Jack O'Neill (with two LLs) not Homer Simpson. The latter fact always seemed to disappoint him whenever he woke up. He continued scratching his hair, with a partly disappointed eyebrow from the realization and a partly confused eyebrow from the fact that an unexpected guest was knocking at his door without taking a break.**

**He dragged himself to the door. Not because he wanted to greet the eager guest, but because he couldn't wait to shout at the top of his lungs at the annoying human being or alien who was currently at his doorstep. He opened the door and at the same instant opened his mouth to start his reprimand but was stopped by an incredibly highly raised eyebrow and a smile so faint that you had to know it so well to recognize it. And in the whole world only a few people knew it that well, and as fate had it he was one of them. His angry face turned into the warmest smile ever and he instantly clasped the shoulders of his dear friend. "Ah dear friend," he said in an exaggerating tone that only he knew how to use," what a great surprise! What brings you to my humble home?"**

"**Greetings, O'Neill! Did I wake you?" **

"**Ah no problem T, I had to wake up anyway you know the fish are waiting for me in my lovely pond!"**

**Teal'c responded by raising his eyebrow. "So come on in!" While Teal'c took a seat O'Neill went to the fridge to offer his friend something to drink and get himself a beer to wash down the remaining sleepiness inside him."So do you want some Ginger Ale, or will you finally let me offer you some beer?" he asked while almost half disappearing inside the fridge. Of course he knew better than to wait for an answer, and poured Teal'cs Ginger Ale in a glass that almost looked clean. "So how have you been old friend?" he asked sitting down, "heard you a had a tough one that last week, am glad you came back safely! **_**All**_** of you!" **

"**Indeed. It was with mere luck and Colonel Carter's efforts that we could come back." **

"**So you don't mind the **_**few**_** extra years you've earned yourself from this mission?"**

"**I did what I had to do, O'Neill."**

**O'Neill's face turned serious "No really, how are you holding up buddy?" his voice was overwhelmed with sincerity, "It must have been hard for you, **_**all**_** of you, but especially **_**you**_**! I mean not only did you lose some precious years from your life, but you also have to keep the events of these decades to yourself. It's a heavy burden to carry, it must be killing you!"**

"**You have no idea." replied Teal'c in an almost perfectly sarcastic tone. "Is that a hint of sarcasm I sense in that statement? Gee, aren't I proud of you T!" nagged O'Neill.**

"**That's why I'm here."**

**O'Neill raised his eyebrow, "Really?"**

"**Yes."**

"**How?"**

"**There are things I learned during my life on the Odyssey that I fear I cannot keep buried inside me. If I do so I will be inflicting severe damage on your life and on my conscience."**

**Of course, O'Neill had no idea that by 'life' Teal'c meant happiness and that he (and many others) had long waited for an opportunity like this to arise, so that he finally had to talk to O'Neill about the topic he planned on discussing today. But O'Neill was to figure out all this soon enough.**

"**What going on T? You are starting to scare me there buddy!" O'Neill's worry was starting to grow more noticeable in his tone. "What happened up there?"**

"**No need to be scared, O'Neill. It's concerning Colonel Cart…" Teal'c didn't even get the chance to finish his sentence, before the general interrupted in panic. "What's with Carter, is she ok?" **

"**Colonel Carter is in great health O'Neill, there's no necessity to be alarmed. It's concerning **_**you**_** and Colonel Carter!" Teal'c said without even flinching, his expression unchanging. O'Neill's eyes grew wider "Oh! What about Colonel Carter and me?" he asked trying to sound as casual as possible. **

"**You two should be together!" Teal'c blurted out bluntly.**

**O'Neill eyes grew even wider -if that was even possible- and his jaw dropped to the ground. He tried to make a sound, any sound, but his mind was too stoned to find the words.**

**A slight smug grin slowly formed on Teal'c face. His words had the exact same effect he had desired. Now that O'Neill was too bluffed to respond, Teal'c could continue on with what he wants to get through to that thick brain of his uninterrupted. **

"**It is understandable that it is taking you a long time to figure it out, but Colonel Carter?"**

**O'Neill was still unable to fathom what Teal'c was trying to do that he couldn't even feign being hurt by the teasing insult.**

"**Sometime after being stranded on the ship, Colonel Carter began to act upon her desires!" **

**O'Neill's sequence of muted words was finalized with a loud "What!" that probably echoed through the whole house. **

"**You undoubtedly want me to elaborate further…" **

"**Actually I'm not so sure at this point; I mean this conversation has become disturbing on so many levels."**


	2. Another Unexpected Visitor

**Chapter 2**

**Another knock resounded although compared to Teal'cs his one was a bit less powerful and its source appeared to be a bit hesitant. After the second round of triple consecutive knocks the knocking was accompanied with a sing songy "hello? Is anybody here?" "In here Danny boy the door isn't locked" answered Jack from his place in the cozy couch "Man, that's timing for ya!" He mumbled still looking incredously at Teal'c. Apparently Teal'c's words hadn't sunk in yet and now they won't ever have to, thanks to his other best friend. Although he couldn't deny that part of him was really curious as to what Teal'c meant with 'she acted upon her desires'? What could have happened up there? The left part of his brain was particularly curious but all the other parts were in unison that some things were better left unsaid, and that's why they oppressed the left side completely and were thankful for Daniel's grand entrance. What a friend! Or so they thought. **

**"Oh I didn't realize you'd be here" Daniel exclaimed looking at Teal'c, his sound rather relieved than disappointed, and then he continued the conversation in Jack's direction. **

**"Hello, Jack how've you been?" he said in the tone he only used with his best friend. Throughout the years, both of them had developed their special way of communication that only they and those working closely with them during these years could understand. So Jack replied with his usual answer and expected their opening conversation to go according to the preset plan, which it did up until shortly before the end.**

"**Fine, Danny Boy. So this is new I mean you didn't die or anything lately."**

"**Yeah, it's always something isn't it?"**

"**Gotta tell you, though, you look much better after coming back from the dead."**

"**Oh, it's just temporary, who knows, I could die any second now."**

"**Really?"**

"**Yeah."**

"**So Daniel?"**

"**Jack."**

"**Daniel?" Jack repeated with more emphasis on the question in his words,**

**he wanted to know what Daniel wanted, for as much as he was happy to see his friend, both his friends actually, let's face it the coincidence of both of them showing up at his door step out of the blue on the same day was just too weird.**

"**Jack?"**

"**Yep, just like old times"**

**Daniel just shook his shoulders.**

"**Except you are in my living room, on a Sunday morning, the same Sunday morning that Teal'c decided to show up in my living room. And I have grown a beard!"**

"**Yeah, some things change, others stay the same."**

"**Very good."**

**As always Daniel was the slightly more mature one of the two kids, so he was the one who started wrapping up their ritualistic conversation:**

"**So, after the tough one we've had, the general gave us some leave for the weekend, so I thought I'd stop by and see how you were doing!" **

"**Ah, so how was that last mission by the way? Betcha as a space monkey you faired pretty well up there! Didn't he Teal'c?"**

**Of course Teal'c had refrained from speaking these past couple of minutes, to give the two friends time to catch up. And because he preferred discussing Jack's personal affairs in private with him, in order to spare him the extra awkwardness. He was at least that considerate! So Teal'c only nodded and Jack returned to Daniel. **

**"Yeah it was great especially the parts I don't remember and that I haven't even lived in this altered timeline". **

**Jack in turn impersonated his confused expression and Daniel continued, **

**"So Jack, when are you gonna stop acting like a child and marry Sam?" **

**That was the part near the end where the conversation took an unexpected turn, Jack was sure of that in the back of his mind. The front of his mind was however at a loss of words for the second time in 15 minutes. The right side of his mind tried to find a suiting joke or ironic remark to throw into the room that would coat his awkwardness. The left side of the brain only chuckled in a muffled tone, I mean it was too cliché that you have to admit it's funny, even if you're the victim. The rest of the brain passed the left side another threatening glance then ignored it, I mean there were other more important things to tend to at the moment.**

**Daniel just stood there with his arms crossed on his chest, a raised eyebrow and a face expression that made clear that he had nothing more to say. He was expecting an answer from Jack and was willing to wait for it for as long as it takes, which he knew would be longer than he'd actually liked. But still he had nothing else planned for the day, so if he had to wait till sundown or longer, so be it! Someone needs to put a stop to this and someone had to do it now before it was too late. What if they hadn't made it through the last mission, cause come on it was real close this time and one is ignorant if he doesn't acknowledge the greatness of a second chance, or a millionth chance in their case, and act upon it. Plus he knew how bad it would have hit Jack if that last mission was really it and he never got the chance to act upon his feelings, because of some stupid rules. For God's sake, he has ever followed a single rule in his life but when it comes to the one rule that everyone knows he should break he's suddenly Mr. Military. Daniel knew that what hurts the most is being so close and having so much to say and then loosing the one you love without ever knowing what could have been. Especially when anyone could see that a lot could have easily been for these two, even probably happily ever after. **

**So Daniel was here for as long as it takes and his determined expression and unwavering posture made that clear to the cornered O'Neill. **

**Teal'c who sat on the chair opposite to the couch had a clear smile on his face. He could now sit back and watch the events of the undeniably impending quarrel unravel in front of him, before dropping his bomb.**


	3. Confrontation

**Chapter 3**

**So Jack was standing there awestruck. Teal'c was smiling on the outside with a triumphant look and laughing hysterically like a good Jaffa only can on the inside. And Daniel, good old Daniel was still standing there unwavering with his arms crossed on his chest, two raised eyebrows and one tapping, impatience faking foot. Everyone was wondering who would be the first one to break the silence, and what would that person say. And for another 3 long minutes they just stood there with that thought on their mind: Who was it going to be?**

**I clearly got off the completely wring foot today! Thought Jack to himself, wanting to end his awkwardness and continue on with the day. He decided to proceed in the only possible way he knew how. He had to give it one shot, although knowing Daniel and apparently now also Teal'c plan A was as always unlikely to work. "So Daniel how as your last mission?" he asked trying to sound as casually as possible, as if Daniel had just arrived and that was the first conversation point. "Great Jack, we really enjoyed living 50 or 60 extra years then unliving them." Daniel replied playing along with his friend, as he knew him so well, but Oh no Jack you're not going to get off that easily, not this time! "So Jack, When are you going to marry Sam? You know we won't be so lucky as to get a second chance like this every time you know! One day we're going to run out of luck, and you won't get the chance to wait to make it right when the right time comes!"**

"**So Daniel how was your last mission?" repeated Jack in a funny voice, again as if Daniel had said nothing at all. It was admirable how the right side of his mind was handling all this, thought the other three parts. Though they were all busy thinking about what Daniel had just said, and arguing about whether he has a point or not and how to handle this, the right part was still able to pretend that the whole mind wasn't all that shocked by Daniel's words. Somehow the right part was still able to maneuver its way through the conversation, in a way only it knew how. But not for long, even the right part knew that! This was going to be a very tough battle to win, noted the back of the mind, I just don't know why yet!**

"**Jack! Am serious here! You need to suck it up and go talk to her!"**

"**So Daniel how was your last mission?"**

"**Oh for heaven's sake listen to me. You hear what I'm saying or is your brain really as thick as you want us to believe."**

"**So Daniel…." this time Jack's words almost sounded robotic.**

"**Come on Jack! Don't do this! You know I'm right. Deep down you know as sure as hell that I'm completely right. That's why you're so scared to confront me, because you know that I'm right. Just like General Hammond was right. Don't tell me that you've forgotten his last words on his deathbed," Jack's face turend grim and a shadow came over it "If you don't want to believe me fine, but I think atleast you'll respect and believe Hammond. He asked you to not let rules stand in your way and told you that you could both still have everything you want," you could easily recognize the pain in Jack's expression, Daniel had hit the spot, and he wanted to, that was the only way "just like Jacob did with Sam before dying." Daniel paused for a minute to let his last words really sink in. Jack's expression was one of pure shock. What? Were they really that obvious? And how did Daniel know? He relaxed himself that it was natural that Sam would tell this to Daniel, since she needed to talk to someone about it and she certainly couldn't have talked to him concerning that matter. "You know as well as I do that the possibility of you losing her before you've even really had her is higher that high. And don't tell me you don't think about it!"**

**How did he know that?! How did Jack let someone or some people know him so well that they knew exactly what he was thinking and what was approximately going on up there in that weirdly wired brain of his? He wasn't gonna let himself even think about it, like he hadn't let himself for the past 10 years. This was a conversation none of his brain parts were ready to have with each other. This was a conversation he was never going to be ready to have, ever! Because it could only end badly, especially for the poor front brain! Just as the front was about to panic at the thought of not having to think about it, the right started to comfort him: "At least, it can't get any worse than this! This is what we feared most! One of the guys bluntly opening the subject with us…" the left side interrupted, "actually that's not what we feared most. What we feared most was her bluntly and openly opening the subject after so many times of subtle conversations with mutual understanding." The right side virtually kicked the left one and continued relaxing the remaining parts. "Like that's gonna happen! No way! As I said it doesn't get any worse! Trust me!" **

**Before the last thought could properly register in Jack's mind as a whole, the door knocked for the third time this morning.**


	4. Yet Another Unexpected Visitor

**Chapter 4**

**The knock on the door was unlike the previous two. This time it was a bit gentler, probably a bit hesitant according of its rhythm. A feminine knock, perhaps? All three turned to the door. This was unexpected for all of them. It was an end to their conversation: A disappointment to Daniel, a relief to Jack and an amusement to Teal'c. Jack went to the door himself to check who it was, he had to kiss whoever was at the door for sparing him the unnecessary torture. He opened the door while grinning wildly and was stopped mid-breath. Obviously the front brain couldn't have been more wrong in its entire life. This was way worse. Because let's face it, as much as he loves seeing her, just looking at her and into her breathtaking electric blue eyes, this was really the worst possible timing for her to be showing up at his doorstep.**

**She stood there with an uneasy nervous smile, playing with the label of the champagne bottle she held in her hands and shifting her weight from on leg to the other. This was probably a bad idea, she thought. Correction, this is definitely a bad idea. A very bad one, as a matter of fact. She should probably turn around and sprint to the car right now. But will she have enough time to make it to the car before he has fully opened the door? A quick calculation of velocity and distance showed that she wouldn't. It was too late. She was stuck. She had to wait for him to finish opening the door, only to find her standing there with the champagne in hand and the nervous smile he had only seen so often. She had to wait! Not only because she had no time to return to the car, but because she had to see him. She had to see his enchanting smile that seldom parted his lips, she had to see his perfect military muscular figure and most importantly she had to see the light behind his eyes. That light, that was the only reason she had hope: hope of their future together, hope that they'll someday defeat the Ori and the Wraith for that matter, hope that someday she'll see her father again and hope that somewhere out there the God is listening to her prayer and will one day grant her, her only wish. So she stood there waiting for that door to be flung open with a grinning general standing underneath its rim. **

"**Carter! What a surprise! This day just keep getting better and better! Come on in, the rest of the gang is already in there!"**

"**They are?" her eyes widened as she arched her shoulder in discomfort. "Maybe I should come back later, or not at all, this is a bad idea!" she said turning around.**

"**Oh no Carter come on, you never have bad ideas, except maybe for the time you had us fly the F-302 through a mother ship's shield. Come in, I have beer! And we can party!" he said beaming. So naturally, she followed him into the house.**

"**Sam! It's good to see you!" he said looking at Jack rather than at Sam, then stood up to give her a quick hug. Then she turned and hugged Teal'c. "I missed you guys"**

"**So did we Colonel Carter. It is good to see you." replied Teal'c.**

**Jack returned with a beer in his hand and handed it to Carter who nodded thankfully. "So Carter what brings you by to my humble home? Just wanted to say hi like these two?"**

"**Yes, sir"**

"**Well, then hi to you, too!"**

**She replied in her Jack-1-Smile, the smile she always laughed whenever he said had something goofy to try and hide his awkwardness or stupidity. **

"**So wanna beer?" "Yep!" then she continued under her breath, "I sure as hell need one!" **

**Jack returned with the beer and handed it to the now seated Carter and joined her on the couch.**

"**So Carter how was your last trip?" he asked and gave a theatrical expression to show how much he awaited the answer "I sure can't wait to hear how you're gonna respond to that!"**

**Daniel and even Teal'c broke out in laughter. They were both imagining how it would be like if Sam just blurted out "When are you finally gonna propose?...Sir?", and they also knew that Jack was imagining the exact same thing.**

"**What?! Whadid I do?"**

**They all tried to muffle their laughs and managed a choir of "Nothing" from underneath their laughter.**

**Sam just stared at them, trying to scare them with her fake sharp stare, which partly had the desired effect.**

"**So Carter how was it?" said Jack trying not to grin too wildly.**

"**Fine, sir! Betcha the report was very interesting for you!" said Sam teasingly "Am ready whenever you need that time dilation field explanation again!" **

"**Well then am gonna free my afternoon for time dilation, but the evening will be all fishing, deal?"**

"**How can I say no, then? Uhm, Sir!"**

"**Perfect! It's a plan!"**

**Daniel and Teal'c just exchanged a glance. What they had come to say wasn't gonna be necessary after all. Any one standing even miles apart could feel the rising heat between the two and you could easily see the sparks flying. All that was left for Daniel and Teal'c to do, is leave the two together alone in the right moment, and chemistry if you call it or better the grand scheme of energy balance in the multiverse will do the rest. Especially after the charge they'd both given Jack this morning. Even without him feeling it, the conversation had an effect on him; it turned all his brain parts into hopeless romantics, except the left part perhaps. They had triggered something inside of him, that he had long forgotten existed.**

"**Oh guys you are welcome to join us of course, I mean I know how much Teal'c loves fishing!"**

"**Indeed O'Neill, but I must refrain; I am headed to see Ryac and his family in Chulak."**

"**Me too, I mean I gotta go back to the SGC they need my help translating a new tablet that could be the key to defeating the Ori. Again." said Daniel trying to sound as casual as possible and then hiding his smirk he added, "So Jack we'll leave you to it then, and don't forget the important union meeting we were talking about, we need an answer by tomorrow morning!"**

"**Indeed!"**

**Jack just shouted "Daniel!" at the top of his lungs and gave him symbolic a kick in the butt. Sam not really understanding what Daniel was talking about, but still finding the action of her CO hilarious, as always, chuckled silently with shaking shoulders. Daniel and Teal'c had a triumphant smile drawn on their faces. With that Daniel and Teal'c made their exit.**


	5. Lost

**This chapter is based on the song "Lost" by "Faith Hill", try to listen to it while reading it. You'll find that many of the chapters are based on songs or are suiting to songs. Sometimes I do so without even noticing, but when I do I'll be sure to mention the song name.**

**Chapter 5**

**She found herself standing with him alone, awkwardly, in his living room,**

_**Again**_**! **

'**So what now?' she thought, 'what the hell was I doing here in the first place, god what was I thinking!' again she was in the verge of an internal nervous breakdown, when the inside of her reminded its self 'Ah! Those eyes, this light and this bright smile! Sure there were other reasons, she wanted to say hi, she had missed him and they were both in town at the same time. And ever since the night her dad died, 2 years ago, they'd been accustomed to spend some casual colleague's time together, whenever they were both available. But the main reason for the visit was to see his face again. Because when she was told about the fifty-something years they had spent on the Odyssey before reversing time, the first thing that crossed her mind was how the hell she had survived all these years up there without looking into his eyes and being engulfed by his smile. But of course she wasn't gonna ask Teal'c that. **

**So there she stood lost in his face, unable to even bring herself to feel the awkwardness she was supposed to be feeling. Boy, had she missed him, really really missed him. She could stay in this moment forever, lost in him. Though she never believed in falling hopelessly in love, she was certain that this was what she was doing this very moment, actually she's been doing it for many years now. And somehow from the way his eyes locked with hers and she could fell him see right through her soul like she did with his, she was sure he was feeling the same way, too. But how? There was no scientific proof for this thing called love and she never did believe in anything she couldn't hold between her fingers or at least explain and understand. But she utterly and completely believed in love especially in falling in love with Major General Jack O'Neill. She never knew a feeling like this. She never felt a rush like the rush she was feeling right now. Boy that was only from his look, what would she do if they touched? She would melt inside, she was sure of it. Even though she knew it was theoretically impossible, she knew with a p-value of 0.99999 –which is very very high- that she'd melt if hid body would meet with hers. Her heart was racing inside of her, she wondered if he could hear it. They were lost in each other, she was certain of that! She wasn't the only one feeling this **_**thing **_**that was happening to them right now in this room, whatever you'd call it. But probably this thing would be called love in almost every book in the multiverse.**

**

* * *

  
**

'**OK? What should I do now?' Jack was asking himself internally.**

'**Well, isn't it obvious? You should jump her right now, where she stands. I mean look at those eyes! Those captivating blue eyes! I don't believe we'd ever be able to take our eyes off them. And oh this body, this shining blonde hair and of course the magnificent charming mind that lies beneath it. How could you not jump her!' said the front brain.**

'**But you can't do that, you're her commanding officer' stated the back.**

'**You should turn around right now, pick up the phone, retire and then jump her.' Said the right part of the brain, though for the first time it wasn't sure it was being sarcastic at all, cause let's face it that's probably the most rational right thing to do.**

'**Oh come on just kiss the girl, for heaven's sake' shouted the left brain.**

'**I can't believe her eyes. I'm lost inside those eyes I can't think any more. And she feels the same I know it, I mean just look at the way she's returning our look, and holding on to this moment like wants to see through our look and into us. Oh if only she could see! If only she could feel this feeling inside. This feeling we've been fighting off for so long.'**

'**I never thought we'd be able to feel that way ever again.'**

'**Actually I don't believe we ever did.'**

'**You know what, you're right, this is different. We've never felt a feeling of complete and utter love before. We've never been this lost inside someone, and wanting to stay that way at the same time.'**

'**Oh dear god, I can't look away. And she can't look away either. What will we do? We could stay like this till the end of time, but the thing is I won't mind it; I could stay like this forever. In fact I would **_**love **_**stay like this forever; lost and engulfed inside this mystery of her eyes.'**

'**Come on kiss her then!'**

'**No don't kiss her, not now. Just lean over and hold her hand, you know you wanna. You know you wanna feel her touch this instant more that you've ever wanted anything.'**

'**Ok then, here goes!'**

**

* * *

  
**

**So as agreed, Jack gently leaned forward without breaking eye contact, grabbed her small hand and held on to it with both hands. The outside observer could easily see the electric surge that rushed through both their bodies and could almost see the fluttering butterflies inside the two of them. Of course, this wasn't the first time they'd touched, they'd carried, held, leaned on, hugged and even on various occasions kissed each other. But this was different; this was conscious and open. This wasn't some kind of walking around the elephant in the room or acting as if it was the casual way colleagues acted around each other. No, this was officially romantic; they were both fully aware of the situation and were willing to let themselves go down that road. Even if they didn't exchange any words, they both knew they weren't alone in their feeling and they were certain the other wanted it as much as they wanted.**

**That merger of the two hands did more than any hand merger had done in the entire history of mankind. The union was done forever, even if they didn't know it yet. This was the symbolic union that will bind them together forever.**

"**Sam?"**

"**Huh?" she hardly managed despite the breathlessness she was experiencing from the feeling of his hands cradling hers.**

"**You wanna skip the time thingy course?"**

"**Uhu!"**

"**So?"**

"**So?"**

"**I think we know each other well enough that we can also skip the dating and getting to know each other part." **

**Somehow he was sure she wouldn't feel uneasy by his honesty and by him assuming that she wanted this to go the way he wanted it to, but he did. And he was right. She knew that's what he would say; she didn't mind it and she completely agreed.**

**It's funny that when you've known and loved someone for so long (even if you acted as if you didn't, that even you allegedly believed it) you knew what they're thinking with absolute certainty and you could read them like an open book.**

"**Uhu!"**

"**So are we gonna do this?" he had to ask out loud, even if he knew the answer, he had to make sure he wasn't taking advantage of her.**

"**Yeah, sure ya betcha."**

**Though anyone might think that Jack meant sleeping together, Sam knew exactly that her meant merge their lips in the divine kiss that were to follow.**

**So this is what we've been missing for so long! A kiss! A wondrous kiss that said more than a million words combined together. A kiss that explained more than any science or logic could ever explain. Not a kiss, it was **_**the**_** kiss. The one and only kiss, you'd have everyday till forever from this day forth, from your one and only person. This was magic! This was what impossible was. Suddenly all mysteries of the world were resolved. Nothing seemed that important any more.**

**How did they feel so much so fast? They both felt like they've been together like these for years, like they've kissed each other this way a million times before, like somehow this was their habit. They had the feeling that they live together and have long ago told each other how they really felt. But that wasn't weird at all. That was the only natural feeling. They've know each other for 10 years and have felt this way for almost as long, they also knew each other so well that they silently exchanged these feeling together long ago, without even knowing it. The only this that's changed, is that their subconscious mind allowed the conscious mind to join him in this feeling. It's like the sensation you get when you experience a déjà-vu, only stronger. **

**They both remained flushed for some time after the kiss. They both sat down on the couch and before they knew it they were lost in conversation, without any awkwardness. They were getting to know one another more but from another perspective. Actually they'd already begun knowing each other that way two years ago. Since then they've gotten to know their soul mates on a deeper and more personal level. They already knew what the other hated and loved, what their favorite food was and what drove them insane. So they sat there and talked comfortably about nothing in particular and laughing together. After a while they ordered some Chinese and watches 'Singing in the Rain', which happened to be the favorite movie of the two of them. After 3 movies, 2 large pizzas, chocolate and countless amounts of beer, they decided to put the night to an end. After all it was 1 o'clock and they had the whole week to continue they're partying. (Jack had the week off which is why he was in his cabin not in Washington in the first place and Sam had the week off too after the Odyssey mission)**


	6. Together

**Chapter 6**

**So the week went on as follows:**

**Every day was something new. Picnics, fishing, hockey games (watching and playing), fancy dinners, burger joints, movies, sleepovers, breakfast in bed, kissing, moonlit walks, swimming, dancing, kickboxing and goofing around. The only constant in all the days was being happy and in love!**

**Though they both didn't want to say goodbye, they did cause they knew they had to and they'd somehow manage. I mean they've managed and overcome a lot, so that wouldn't be a problem. At least this time when they said goodbye, they knew they were allowed to call each other in the middle of the night to say I miss you, and they knew they were together but temporarily apart. They hadn't talked about the situation much, but they'd agreed they would keep it for themselves for a little while. After all Jack told her, he didn't want Daniel and Teal'c to think they've won. (He'd told her about the funny events that happened before her arrival that day, but he left out the part with Teal'c revelation concerning her behavior on the Odyssey , he didn't need to torture her , knowing that Teal'c would never tell her what really happened up there.)**

**They met each other almost every weekend, sometimes in Washington, sometimes in Colorado Springs and sometimes in a new exciting place in between, just for the fun of it, not to shorten the distance.**

**Right after they came back from destroying the Ori and salvaging the Arc of Truth and after checking on Cam, she took the first flight down to Washington to surprise Jack. **

**Ding Dong! He opened the door of his apartment with a lazy expression on his face. He was dressed in his Air Force T-shirt and his boxers and he obviously wasn't expecting any guests and wasn't in the mood for any intruder. But as soon as he saw the blond wavy hair, the black skirt and blouse and those blue eyes that were sparkling from the sunlight, his expression turned into that of complete happiness and amazement. He once again got the sensation that the being standing in front of him, was some kind of extraterrestrial being, not his **_**girlfriend.**_** That's what they've been calling each other nowadays: girlfriend and boyfriend, and they both loved the sound of the word so much, that they used it in every way possible just like teenagers.**

"**Hey there boyfriend!" she greeted with the widest grin ever, which turned into a warm soft smile under the influence of him wrapping his arms around her**

"**Ohhhh, I missed you, baby" he replied holding her tighter while pushing her inside and closing the door behind them. As soon as the door was shut, he merged his lips with hers, covering her smile with one of his own.**

**After the long, passionate reunion, a hot romantic bath and some wine, they were hurdled up in each other's arms in bed. **

"**How've you been?" asked Jack in a sincere voice**

"**It's been tough. I mean am glad we've had this whole Ori dilemma behind us. It was damn close this time; we nearly lost Teal'c and Cam"**

"**I know, baby, it must've been hard."**

"**Yeah, am just glad it's over and that I'm back here in your arms where I belong."**

"**Am glad you are, too."**

"**You know as much as I love my job and never thought I could live without it, I really wish all this traveling back and forth would be over, and we'd be permanently living together, as it's supposed to be. I mean there will never be a better timing, now that the Ori are gone, the Goa'uld and the replicator –again-, too."**

"**Just say the word and I'll be retired within the next minute, I won't even bother calling them."**

"**I would never ask you to do that. Never! I was talking about myself."**

"**Oh come on Sam, I've said it before and I'll say it again; you are one of this countries natural resources if not national treasures, I can't let you do this. They need you. They'll always need you. I mean there's the midway station and the eminent threat of the Wraith finding their way to our galaxy, for starters."**

"**Maybe, but so are you. They could manage without me. They **_**should**_** manage without me!"**

"**Sam, let's not talk about this now, you sure want to rest. Let's jump off that bridge when we come to it."**

"**But we've come to it. We're already on it. We've been on it for almost 11 years now and we still haven't jumped off. I'm afraid we don't even know how to jump off it any more. We've gotten so used to be standing on it, we don't even know how to try and make a move." Her voice was overwhelmed with emotion. She sounded as if she was about to cry, not because she was mad at him or because she was hurt, but because she was on the verge of completely panicking from the state of limbo they were stuck in and because she could see no way out. She knew exactly, that none of them would let the other sacrifice his job for the other. **

**Jack sensed her panic and grabbed her by her shoulders and pulled her closer to him and locked his eyes inside hers. **

"**Shhhh, calm down, calm down. It's all gonna be ok. We are gonna work it out somehow. Look at all what we've been through. We'll make it through whatever life throws in our direction."**

**She just surrendered herself to him and relaxed herself inside his grip. She believed him, she knew that somehow they'd be ok.**

"**We are gonna talk about it, Sam, and we'll figure it all out. I just think you need to relax a bit and have a good night's sleep before we can reach a viable solution. Clearly the idea of one of us giving up his job isn't on the table, **_**yet, **_**though I fully stand by what I said, I'm willing to retire right now, no regrets!"**

"**I know you are, but I won't allow it. I'm honestly willing to quit right now."**

"**I know, baby, but that's not gonna happen, not as long as I can do something about it."**

**They continued staring at each other in silence for some time. They knew nothing would be resolved today and for the moment it didn't matter. All that mattered was being able to look into each other's eyes and feeling alive again.**

**

* * *

  
**

**The next morning, she woke up to the smell of coffee and French toast.**

"**Mmmm, smells yummy!" she said almost still asleep.**

"**I know. I made it!" he said with his beautiful proud smile. **

"**You spoil me Jack O'Neill!"**

"**You deserve to be spoiled Samantha Carter."**

**She loved the way her name sounded coming out from his mouth. He made it sound like something special. No one can master 'Samantha' like him, he makes it sound like a completely different name. He made her love the name, she was always annoyed by.**

**After having breakfast in bed, jogging a bit, doing the daily errands and walking 'Fish' (the dog they'd bought together, to keep them company when they weren't together and to remind them that they're never alone.), they decided to treat themselves with a bath in the Jacuzzi and pretend it was the pond (They always did so when they were in Washington or elsewhere, where the pond wasn't available. Ah, the pond! It had come to be a special getaway place for the two of them. Whenever they needed to unwind, relax or discuss something important, they found themselves emerged inside the fishless pond.)**

"**So?" asked Jack entwining his fingers in hers and moving her closer to him. She shifted her whole body weight on his and turned around to face him.**

"**So? What will we do? Will we wait a few more months to see how this plays ****out****? See if one of us gets transferred or something like this?"**

"**We could! Or we could just take the opportunity that has been thrown in our direction!" he tried to hide his smirk and to sound as serious as he could. She turned around more, so she could see his whole face. She saw the smirk but decided to wait and see where this was going before jumping to any conclusions.**

"**I passed by this office today, before you woke up. I told them I'd be working from home from now on, and I'll go down to the office only once a week, except in cases of emergency of course, and the rest could be finished through conference calls and stuff like that, there's nothing to be actually done in this job but talk anyway." She was waiting to hear the rest of his words, what were the implications of this? She actually had no idea what he intended and why he had done it, she felt really stupid; that was the first time where **_**he**_** was the one explaining something and expecting her to understand, and she honestly didn't. She didn't have a clue. He knew that she didn't understand what that meant, and he took great pleasure in explaining it to her, this way it would have a deeper and better effect, than if she had understood it on her own. He pulled her tighter onto himself, to be fully aware of her whole body on his and put his hand on her cheek.**

"**Sam, baby, I'm moving back to Colorado!"**

"**Whaaaaaat?"**

**He just grinned widely.**

"**Oh god, really? Thank you, thank you, thank you! I can't believe this!"**

"**I mean I'll have to fly down here each week, but you won't even feel am gone. Am gonna be the one sitting around waiting for my girl to come home from another planet."**

"**Oh, I'm gonna make it up to you each and every night, believe me" she said turning her whole body around, to be able to face him completely and gave him a warm passionate kiss.**

"**I'm counting on it!" he said from while breaking the connection for air.**

**He once again moved his face further away from hers, to be able to see her eyes while he asked the next question: "Baby, would you please move in with me?"**

"**You really have to ask! I mean I was already thinking when I'm gonna have time to pack my stuff." She teased, then she continued more seriously "I'd love to, Jack."**

**Boy that was perfection! It really doesn't get better than this.**

"**Sam?" he said soberly**

"**Yes?"**

"**I love you!"**

"**Oh Jack, I love you, too. I've loved you for so long." She said burying her face inside him. He held on closer and she completely surrendered herself to him, he was in control!**


	7. Revelations

**The second part of the chapter is based of the song "By the way they dance" by "Jump Little Children", a great song that was almost made for them.**

**Chapter 7**

**She was waiting for the moving van at the front porch of his house. Their house! She'd been moving her stuff all weekend now and she had started adding some of her touches to their home. He was to arrive today, and he sent the moving van before him with some of the important stuff in his Washington apartment. But they'd agreed to keep the apartment livable in case they ever needed to use it, or the Jacuzzi. **

**After he arrived, they said their hellos and I love yous and they had partly settled in and made the first readjustments in the home, they found themselves relaxing on the couch. They ordered some Pizza and put on a Simpsons DVD. (Sam had started to grow fond of these yellow people, too!)**

"**Ah, what a life!" said Jack in a theatrical tone. "Got a beer in one hand, a babe in the other and the Simpsons on TV. A guy couldn't ask for more."**

**Sam chuckled and adjusted herself on the couch, so that she could be facing him and hit pause. Then she slowly leaned over and gave him a quick peck on the lips, also a bit theatrically.**

"**What was that for?"**

"**To show you that a guy could ask for more!" she joked.**

"**Well then you little vixen, I'll ask for a lot more but I'm keeping my requests for another time, tonight perhaps?"**

"**Tonight sounds great, **_**boyfriend**_**!"**

**Before going to bed, they had decided it was finally time to let their close friends on their little secret. So Jack called the guys and invited them over the next morning. He also invited Cam, Vala and Landry as they are part of Sam's new family now, and Sam told him she wanted to do some matchmaking between Vala and Daniel. Of course Jack wouldn't miss the opportunity for nothing. They also decided not to tell them what all this was about. Jack he was just having a reunion at his place and wanted to get to know the new team members further.**

**

* * *

  
**

**So the next morning after having breakfast, Jack and Sam set up the BBQ gear in the back yard and prepared a few snacks from the shopping they'd done the day before.**

**The weather was lovely and Sam was dressed in a heavenly baby blue summer dress, that made her look like an angel and fluttered whenever she moved. The dress really made her eye color stand out; you could see them sparkling like pure Blue Indicolite Tourmaline. Jack couldn't resist the way she looked. He pulled her to him after she had set the salad bowl on the table, put his hand behind her back and bent her body so that the only thing that prevented her head from hitting the ground was his firm gentle grip. Then he slowly leaned on her and kissed her sweetly. "Oh come on Jack, they'll be here any minute now and we still haven't…" she said after she regained posture, trying to resist her desire to remain in this position forever. He put his finger on her lips to stop her from talking and to show her that there's no need and no use in resisting. Then lead her into a music-less dance. The only rhythm they were following was the beating of each other's hearts, and what a rhythm that was! She instantly forgot what she was saying and why it was important to stop what they were doing.**

**The whole gang arrived at the same time having carpooled from the base and let themselves in to the back yard. They all stopped at the sight of the divine dance that was at play. They knew they were supposed to cough or make a noise: anything to make the couple aware of their presence. But they couldn't or rather they didn't want to. The scene at play was so precious and heartfelt that they didn't dare interrupt it. They all at once knew that the two souls swaying in the sunlight in front of them had finally merged together. Anyone who never knew these two could see it. The way one of his hands is tangled in hers and the other is moving around her back, holding her tightly but gently, shows how much he's afraid to lose her. The way she twirls around in her floating dress, completely surrendering to his lead, shows how much she trusts him with her life. They way they are both moving around in harmony, knowing exactly where the next step will lead, shows that they'll manage their life forever, without even knowing how. The way they are both lost in each other and each other only, with closed eyes cause they are oblivious that there's a world outside them at this moment, shows how much they know each other and can only belong to one another. By the way their cheeks are caressing each other, their bodies are floating around in the air barley touching the ground and the sunlight is creating an illusion that is only possible in fairytale movies, everyone knows they're completely and utterly in love. The way they dance together gave them up.**

**Not wanting intrude on the privacy of his friends any further, Daniel decided he had to make them aware of their presence.**

"**Hello Jack, Sam, so I see the party has already started without us!"**

**Said Daniel as a matter-of-factly. **

**Sam instantly pulled away from Jack's arms and looked in horror and the wildly grinning guests. Jack, who was equally discomforted that everyone had witnessed this intimate moment, tried to contain his emotions and smiled as honestly as he could manage. **

"**Hello, Daniel! A little knock might've been nice, you know. For the sake of the old friendship at least." He said trying to sound like he was joking.**

"**Hello guys welcome to **_**our**_** house" he said holding his hands out for Sam and pulled her to his side and hugged her from the side to get her to forget the awkward situation. "I believe you all figured out that part by now."**

"**Oh yes, we did!" commented Vala and earned herself a light kick to the legs by Daniel and a shut-up-look, too. **

"**Indeed!" managed Teal'c in the background.**

**Oh here it goes thought the two lovers simultaneously. They both tightened their grip around each other.**

"**Congratulations Jack," then he turned to Sam "Sam. I hear this relationship is long overdue!"**

"**Well,…" started Jack but was interrupted by another all knowing voice.**

"**You have no idea, sir."Daniel said, acting like a father, who's been telling his naughty kid something for years with no luck.**

"**Indeed!" agreed Teal'c.**

"**Wow Sam! I knew it, I just knew it! Not that anyone who didn't know, wouldn't have known from that dance!" Jack gave Cam an intimidating look, not because he had done anything that merited that look, but because he knew Colonel Mitchell was the only one in the group who would be intimidated by him.**

"**Ahem! Congrats, sir! Wish you all the best, sir!" then a bit lower he added "I'm gonna stop talking now!"**

**Sam was still too blushed and embarrassed to laugh at Cam's goofiness, like she usually would have. She just nodded and smiled faintly. **

"**Why don't we just all take a seat and a beer!" announced Jack**

"**I think I'll need something stronger than that!" said Sam under her breath. **

**Wanting to comfort her without embarrassing her further, Jack just tightened his grip around her while he led her to their seat and whispered in her ear "We're not doing anything wrong, I love you in secret and I love you out loud."**

**She suddenly felt at ease. She was scared that he would be embarrassed to show their affection so publicly, maybe he wanted to keep up his military image, but that wasn't Jack. She'd known that already, but she still she wanted to be sure when the situation came, and thank god that it came; he loved her out loud! She held him by his shoulders, pulled him closer and planted a deep kiss on his lips.**

**She didn't mind the entertained guests or anyone! If he was okay with this, so was she!**

**Although the watchers already knew about the relationship, they all couldn't help but stare in shock. They hadn't expected this and so all chose to suffice with exchanging glances and leaving it at that, to Vala's disappointment.**

**The rest of the morning went without any further action. They grilled, burned some hot dogs, laughed, teased, drank and laughed some more.**

**Around sunset the only remaining guests were the old SG-1 gang and Vala, whose ride home was Daniel.**

**They decided to do some fishing before it grew completely dark, for old time's sakes.**

**After that the fun began again, but this time the targets were different:**

"**So Daniel, how's the love life going?" Jack blurted out. Pay back's a bitch!**

**Daniel who was drinking some water almost spitted it all out "Excuse me?" he looked at Jack in disbelief. Teal'c just raised his eyebrows, Vala was now fully concentrated on the conversation (for the first time this evening) and Sam tried hard to hold back her chuckle, burying her face in Jack's shoulder.**

"**You heard me!" dared him Jack.**

"**Well, not as interesting as yours!" Daniel intended to shut up Jack with this and continue on with the evening, but he knew better.**

"**I hear differently! Apparently you two are frequently going out on dates" Jack pointed at both Daniel and Vala.**

"**What! They're not dates! I'm just showing her around in the planet!"**

"**You didn't take Teal'c out to show him the planet when he first came, now did you!"**

"**Indeed!" added Teal'c.**

"**Those were dates!"**

"**Were not!"**

"**Were, too!"**

"**Not!"**

"**Too!"**

"**Not"**

"**Too!"**

"**Oh come on Daniel admit it, you always paid for the dinner and took me to a movie afterwards. I'd call it dating, too." Vala said, hiding her desperation in a joking tone.**

"**I only pay because you have no earth money, yet or so you always claim and…."**

"**Admit it Danny boy, we've got ourselves two SG-1 couples! We gotta double date someday soon!" nagged Sam.**

"**It's not funny!" Daniel was clearly not finding the conversation amusing.**

"**Yeah, it's not!" Vala was clearly upset now, too. He really didn't like her. He'll never think of her that way. How stupid was she to think that there was a chance! Vala stood up and walked inside the cottage!**

"**Come on Daniel, follow her! You hurt her!" said Sam, with a pushing gesture.**

"**What the hell? Whadid I do!"**

"**You dismissed her, you made her feel that you really don't care for her at all. You said you spent all this time with her out of obligation and only invited her cause you had to. No woman wants to hear that!" advised the wise old Jack.**

"**Says the relationship expert!" **

"**Jack's right Daniel!" said Sam.**

"**Indeed!"**

"**You know you wanna be with her, it's as clear as sunlight any child can see it!" continued Sam.**

"**That coming from the couple, who spent 10 years fooling only themselves and driving all those around them crazy!"**

"**Don't make the same mistake buddy, learn from ours! Why waste time, when it'll happen eventually!" Jack's voice was filled with sincerity and hurt over the lost time.**

"**I would give anything to go back in time and start this sooner, but I can't. You on the other hand can!" confirmed Sam.**

"**Gotta go. Bye guys. Thanks. Congrats. Bye."**

**They all knew, that that night Daniel would open up to Vala and that they'd be together for a lifetime to come. What they didn't know was that Daniel is gonna tell her, that his only fear to open up was, that he could not lose another lover and that after Vala comforted him, they'd both spend the night together at Daniel's. The next day Vala would move her stuff to Daniel's house, where they'll be living for the most of their remaining lives.**

"**I will take my leave, too. It has grown late." Said Teal'c standing up.**

"**Congratulations O'Neill, Colonel Carter! It is good news."**

"**Thanks T, couldn't have done it without you buddy!"**

"**Thank you Teal'c. Appreciate the sentiment!" they both said walking him to the door.**

"**I will see you around." Teal'c said walking out.**

"**See ya!" they both said in unison. And with that they closed the door and went to their room and came together for another night, just because they could.**


	8. Midway

**Here's a short one. Please review, your opinion matters a lot, I need to know how you find it, what I should keep in the coming chapters and what to change.**

**Chapter 8**

"**So I'll see you in 3 weeks, baby!"**

"**Not if I got it up and running sooner!"**

"**Bet you will."**

"**I'd better. I mean I can't remember the last time we were apart for that long."**

"**I know. I'm gonna miss you every second of every day."**

"**Me, too Jack. Maybe you'll stop by?"**

"**Yeah sure! It wouldn't look all that suspicious. It's natural that the commander of Homeland Security, who by the way knows nothing about science, checks up on the progress of the midway station that's so scientific that it gives you a headache!" he nagged with a smirk.**

"**First of all It's no longer a secret, even Elizabeth congratulated me in the last contact from Atlantis. Secondly, you know a lot about science, you just act dumb so I can explain it further." She said with a wink while hitting him playfully.**

"**Undomesticated Equines, wouldn't keep me from checking up on my baby in work."**

"**Yeah, but only if you have time. I know how busy you are, coming up with a plan for the surgical strike on the Pegasus replicators."**

"**I'll try my best."**

**They'd already pulled up the car. They were at Stargate Command, so this was it. She's leaving, but only for 3 weeks, which is nothing, he knew that. But when you've spent every waking moment of the past few months together, 3 weeks seemed like ages.**

**The Gate was already dialed, the luggage was through and Bill was waiting on the other side, and the only thing left to do was say goodbye, for now.**

**They both knew everyone was watching, despite they're effort. They wanted to make it quick for their own sake and to spare them the embarrassing love scene in front of all the personnel.**

"**I'm gonna miss you!" said Jack wrapping his hands around her and looking inside her deep blue eyes.**

"**I'm gonna miss you more!" she said returning his hug and drowning inside his eyes, in return.**

"**Promise me love!"**

"**I promise it with all my heart and quarks!"**

**This was a promise that they'd grown accustomed to. Whenever one of them needed reassurance the other promised him love with all his heart and quarks.**

**With that Jack held her head with both his hands and kissed her quickly and deeply, the forced himself to pull back. She had to restrain herself in order to let him pull back. Then she headed straight to the Gate without looking back, cause she didn't want him to see the single tear that was running down her cheek. Little did she know, that the twin of this little tear was swimming in his eyes struggling to stay there.**

**

* * *

  
**

**Three weeks later, during the Atlantis incidence:**

"**Carter! How are things on your end! Any news, yet?" asked the video image of General O'Neill on the video feed in the midway station.**

"**Negative, sir! Actually, sirs, we've come up with an idea that could help us find Atlantis."**

"**We're all ears!" Jack said with a smile, a romantic smile that is.**

**Sam returned the smile as warmly as possible, forgetting the situation they were in for a microsecond.**

"**Well, Bill and I will gate to the Pegasus Galaxy and meet up with Colonel Ellis, augment the long-range sensors and follow Atlantis' original path. We'd make several stops along the way to look for them and then jump into hyperspace again, etc."**

"**Seems like the best possible course of action!" said General Landry**

**Jack just stood there seeming worried. When he didn't add a thing, General Landry gave the go and left. **

**Dr Lee was also prepping his backpack, with camera and stuff, giving the couple some one on one time.**

"**What's wrong Jack, you suddenly became quiet?"**

"**I donno Sam, I don't think that's a good idea. I mean what if Atlantis has fallen to the Replicators again and you get caught in the middle. You know what these replicators are like. Especially those Pegasus ones, they hate human beings, they don't care about replicating, only about taking vengeance from us. I don't want you in such danger."**

"**Oh come on Jack, I've been in similar situation countless times. Everything we do in our job is dangerous, you know that. I thought you trusted my skill by now."**

"**I know, I know. I do, I really do. It's just I don't wanna loose you."**

"**You won't I promise!"**

"**Just be careful, please and come back alive."**

"**I will try my best." She turned to shut the Gate down but he stopped her mid-move.**

"**Uh, Sam, one more thing."**

"**With all my heart and quarks, Jack" she said lovingly and so reassuringly, that all his fears were temporarily blown away.**

**Then the Gate shut down.**


	9. Argument

**Sorry for not writing in such a long time but there's been a lot going on lately and I bearly got the time to squeeze in writing this chapter, but I promise I'll try to give you a few more chapters this week before the finals take their peek.**

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 9**

**She stepped into the gate on the Pegasus Galaxy and reemerged on the other side in the Milky Way, thinking of nothing and about no one but a certain someone she so longed to touch. She was thinking about him so deeply, that she first thought she was hallucinating when she found his broad grin and sparkling eyes greeting him on the foot of the gate …..**

"**Welcome home Colonel!" greeted General Landry. She somehow managed a 'thank you, sir' and rushed into the open arms of her boyfriend. No words were exchanged, not even kisses. She was just happy to get lost inside his arms again. He tightened his arms around her fine figure and lifted her slightly off the ground. Then they just drowned inside the deepness of each others' eyes, lost in the stare they had been longing for, for so long. **

**Feeling the intensity of the moment, General Landry decided to leave them to it "the debriefing will be at 0800, Colonel!" Sam just nodded slightly while Jack continued to carry her to her quarters.**

**

* * *

**

**After debriefing the two Generals and earning herself a leave, Jack and she made their way home. They had decided to order in, as Sam was too tired to go anywhere. She was just starting to rest her head on his shoulders and cuddle inside his grasp, when both their cell phones started ringing in a choir. **

"**Let's not answer!" said Jack sleepily.**

"**You know we can't what if it's important!"**

"**What if it is, there are other people around you know. It can't always be us."**

"**Jack!"**

"**I know, I know" he said adjusting himself on the Sofa and reaching to grab Sam's and his cell phone. They looked at the caller ID, widened their eyes, answered their cells while standing up and moving to a more quite private place.**

* * *

"**Yes, sir. Understood, sir. I'll give you an answer by the end of this week." And with that the line on the other side of the phone was closed and she was left staring at the telephone in her hands.**

**When she returned to the living area she found Jack already back in his place, with a smile on his face. She though she saw a slight hint of pain mixed in with the smile, though she knew he was trying hard to hide it. She could see that he was clearly feeling both joy and pain at the same time, though the pain part wasn't voluntary. This made her wonder, if he'd gotten the same news as she. **

**Her expression was that of sheer worry and confusion. Her face was growing increasingly red and it was clear that she was gonna explode in tears any second now. 'Oh boy, this was going to be a long night. 'Jack thought to himself. He knew what this was about and he knew what he had to do. It was gonna be hard to convince her and she was sure not gonna let him, but he wasn't gonna give up easily. He had vowed to never stand in her way, he could wait. He **_**had**_** to wait. **

"**That was the president." She said raising the phone in her hand, trying to hold back the tears. **

"**I figured! I was the caller on hold."**

"**What did he tell you?"**

"**What he told you."**

"**Jack! Don't do this! I'm not in the mood." She said angrily letting one tear escape the prison of her eyes.**

"**I'm sorry baby!" he said pulling her next to him on the sofa. He only continued after wrapping his arms around her and started caressing her hair with his fingers. "He said he was going to offer you Weir's position and that he wasn't going to take no for an answer, neither will I by the way. He was consulting me as the Commander of Homeland Security and also as your **_**boyfriend**_**." he took extra pleasure in saying the word. "He said, I should make sure you follow your senses and know that this is the chance of a lifetime, which it is by the way"**

"**Yeah, but not this lifetime."**

"**Sam, you know no one's more fit for this job but you. This doesn't come often; it will be the ultimate push for your career. They need someone like, and you know it."**

"**There are other people but me, who are fit for this job. It can't always be me and it can't always be us! We deserve our chance, too, you know. We can't wait forever."**

"**But we can wait a few years!"**

"**A few years? I thought this was just for one year."**

"**Initially."**

"**How can you be so calm and cold. You really don't care if I go, do you? I mean you probably won't miss me a bit."**

"**Come on Sam, that's not fair, you know it's not true."**

"**Is it? I don't know anymore. Did you even miss me at all, while I was up there, hanging in the vacuum between two galaxies or did you have more important things to worry about?"**

"**Sam, you're being silly and irrational. Maybe you need some time to calm down and think this through." With that he left the room, leaving her with all her hysteric anger on the couch. **

**She felt hurt and betrayed. She didn't move for a few minutes with nothing going through her mind. She was too hurt and confused to think. She didn't know what to do. How could he be so casual talking about her moving to another galaxy. Why did she care so much, willing to give up her career, for someone who didn't even care.**

**

* * *

**

**He'd regretted what he'd said the second he stood up. How could he be so stupid and cold. Now wasn't the time for his military bravado. Sure he had to convince her to do it, for he would never forgive himself if she set back her career on his behalf, hell Jake would've killed him if he was still around. But this was not the way. She was feeling insecure, that much he knew. It took them a decade of their life to come to each other, they were both not exactly young and they didn't have much more time to waste. He had to be there for her support her and help her reach her own decision. He realized that all he needed to do was assure her that he'll always be there for her, show her that these weren't only words.**

**So he stood there for a few minutes, giving her time to forget his harshness, before returning next to her.**

"**Am sorry, Sam. I didn't mean it that way."**

**She didn't even turn to face him. She had buried her face in her hands, her body shivering from repressing her sobs. Damn, he had really hurt her. How could he have been that way. He hated himself, more than he'd done in a very long time. **

"**Sam, baby, look at me. Please." When she didn't respond, he gently put his hand under her chin and lifted her face to face his. But still she wouldn't lock her eyes onto his. She felt so weak and tired, she was so vulnerable that she desperately longed for his arms to comfort her and say the right things.**

"**Sam, look at me." With that she couldn't resist anymore. And as soon as she looked him in the eyes she felt all his regret and pain, for hurting her. Then he did as she had silently asked: he wrapped her fragile body inside his able arms and pulled her deeper inside him so that he could feel her heart beat and calm it down by his. She was resting her whole being on him, feeling him breathe and melting into him. There was no more need for words. All the apologies were said, or rather felt and all the feeling were understood, and all she needed was to feel the rise and fall of his chest and harmonize hers with his. **

"**I've said it before, and I'll say it a million more times, I'll always be there for you, you know I'm not going anywhere."**

"**I know baby, I really do. The thing is I wanna be there with you, too. Nothing else matters to me."**

"**It matters to me, Sam. I would never forgive myself if I didn't push you to excel even more in your career, if that were even possible. Plus, I awe it to Jake and Hammond."**

**Her eyes filled with tears at the mentioning of her late father and mentor, his too. One could clearly hear his voice shake at hearing himself say their names out loud.'**

"**Jack, my career is at its best. There will always be something important for me to tend to, but I won't live forever, and as much as I hate to admit it, neither will you."**

"**I will live long enough for me to see your hair grow grey and have you shouting at me over the breakfast table, as neither of us can hear properly, any more."**

**She sank deeper inside him at the warm thought, feeling her whole body ease and her muscles retract.**

"**With at least 13 grandkids running around in the yard, screaming and reflecting sunlight with their- thanks to their grandma- blond hair and electric blue eyes." He continued, smiling proudly at the imaginary sight of their grandchildren.**

"**Grandpa, how come you are fishing with no fish in the pond, it's called fishing you know." She teased, chuckling hard.**

"**It's not about fishing you smartasses, it's the act itself that's soothing, ask you grandma she knows best."**

"**You're also gonna curse in front of the young ones! Atta role model, grampa!"**

**And they were both engaged in long hysteric laughing, that tears came to their eyes. They knew the topic of the Atlantis Command was closed for the night, there were more important things to tend to at the moment, and they had the whole week for talking.**


	10. Underwater

**Hope you all like this chapter. I know it could have been better but I had so many ideas and I rewrote it a million times and I just couldn't find the perfect one for those two, there's always better. So please tell me your opinion and what I could've done differently. you may wanna listen to Hoobastank's "Underwater" while reading!**

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 10**

**Only after spending some couples time in nearly every corner of the house, did the couple decide to take their love outside to the yard: It was time for a little swim underneath the moonlight.**

**It was an enchanting night. It was a full moon but with some clouds. The clouds allowed the moon to play hide and seek with the earth, thus making the stars brightly visible at some times. Only if you were Samantha Carter or even Jack O'Neill for that matter, would you even be able to recognize some of the star systems you had visited over the years. There was a light breeze causing the tree branches to sway around in the semi-darkness. The roaches were chirping and the frogs were ribbiting. The water from the pond was reflecting the moonlight and the scenery surrounding it. It was just magical!**

**As they emerged their bodies in the warm water, you could almost see sparks flying from the pond. **

**They hung out in the water, first hugging and connecting intimately, then playing together and splashing each other with water and finally they found themselves in each other's arms again: breathing the same air and feeling the strength of their partner's heartbeat as if it were their own.**

"**I love you, you know that, right?" said Jack after a long silence**

"**Of course, I do. I love you, too." replied Sam breathlessly from being too lost inside his arms.**

"**I would never leave you, Sam. No matter how long you leave or how far you go, I will be right here waiting for you."**

**They're minds drifted to that moment 5 years ago, where Sam was stuck in a whirlwind in the ocean on P3X-551. He could see her struggling for her life, the waves winning over her and forcing her whole body underneath the water. He was trying to swim in her direction with no luck, as the ocean they were in had a mind of its own and it seemed determined to keep Jack from reaching her and Sam from staying above the water. Jack was using all his force to swim against the current but he only seemed to be moving further away from her. She could see how he looked at her from afar every time she managed to trick the waves and take a breath. He could see how her eyes were begging him to save her and she could see how his returned her gaze filled pain for not being able to help her. While Daniel and Teal'c had already decided that reaching Sam was impossible and decided to head back to the gate to find a better way to save her, he refused to leave her behind. Daniel was shouting at him, telling him that they weren't leaving her behind but that they needed to come up with a better plan, but Jack was moving further away from them trying to get to his 2IC. Teal'c told Daniel to come with him and leave Jack as they had no time to convince him otherwise: Sam was running out of time! While Daniel and Teal'c were discussing the situation with General Hammond trying to find a way to save Sam with an SUV maybe, Jack was swimming against the current being forced to drown himself. Sam was already unconscious and hadn't reemerged for a whole minute now. Jack grew more alarmed and had a brilliant Carter-like idea come to him: if he were to dive a bit deeper underneath the waves he'd be able to swim towards Sam much easier and get them both to the shore. He had a plan and by the time the rest of his team had arrived to execute theirs, the colonel was already performing CPR on his 2IC and 'the love of his life'. The joy he felt the second she started coughing after he gave her the kiss of life was indescribable. **

**The joy Jack O'Neill was feeling right now 5 years later, looking into his girlfriend's eyes in reaction to his words was even more overwhelming. **

"**I know Jack O'Neill, and I could never live without you. I'd die without you."**

"**Samantha Carter?"**

"**Yes?"**

"**Would you do me the honor and accept to be my wife?" he said looking through her eyes and into her soul.**

"**Oh my god, what?" she was almost glowing brighter than the moon in that instant.**

"**You heard me! Marry me!"**

"**Of course I will. Oh Jack, of course I will" he leaned over and gave her a quick peck on the lips and quickly jumped out of the water.**

"**Wait! Where are you going?"**

"**I'll be right back, stay where you are. Don't move future wife. Haha" he said with the sweetest most sincere smile he had ever smile in his whole life.**

**As she watched the man of her dreams run inside the house, she thought to herself almost in trance and like a drunk 'Yeah that's the Jack O'Neill smile you'll be waking up to every day till your final day! What a sight!"**

**Almost a second later he returned with something in his hands and stopped in the middle of the garden to pick something from the floor, though she couldn't see what in the darkness and from his body. After doing something he didn't want her to see he jumped in the pond like an ecstatic teenager and beamed at her. He then handed her a necklace he'd just macgyvered from a string and all of her favorite flowers that were in their garden: lilies, white orchids and pink rose petals. She could barely take her breath from the intensity of her feelings at the moment. He place the necklace around her neck and while she was tilting her head to take a closer look at it in the moonlight, he popped the question again this time almost kneeling in the water, so only his face was barely above the water and holding something in his hand.**

"**Samantha Carter, I ask you again: will you marry me?"**

**She couldn't believe her eyes. She saw three things sparkling from the intensity of the moonlight: Jack's eyes shining so hard you almost needed sunglasses to shield you from their light and a ring like no other she'd ever seen before. Jack was holding out a baby blue pillow box with a ring with a two-carat diamond in the middle, hugged by to blue sapphires on either side.**

"**Ummmmmmm, I….."**

"**Yeah?" he looked at her expectedly amused by her reaction and knowing that he'd chosen the right ring and the right moment, too.**

"**I do! I mean I will!"**

"**Maybe you'd wanna keep the 'I do' for a later day, where family and friends are present, not that I'd object heading to Vegas right now!"**

"**I ummmmmmm…." She couldn't even react to his teasing, she was too touched, happy and ecstatic that she couldn't utter a sound.**

"**Oh my god, Sam, I guess to see the look on your face right now this second, I'll propose to you every day, from now and till the end of my days.**

"**Please do!" she said still sounding like a person who's been heavily drugged.**

"**I will, but with some smaller rings maybe." He said teasingly.**

"**I think that would be a wise idea." She replied slowly regaining use of her brain and body.**

**He then held her finger, waited for her approval and with the encouraging nod she gave him he placed the ring on her finger.**

"**So how do you like it, future Mrs. Carter-O'Neill?"**

"**Mrs. **_**O'Neill**_** likes it more than anyone had ever liked anything in the history of liking!"**

"**Really?"**

"**Yes, really this is the ring of my dreams from the guy of my dreams, although in my dreams I did never imagine something as beautiful as you."**

"**Great. I'm glad you feel that way because you are the thing I never even dared to dream of having. You are too good for me. But I mean about the other thing. Do you really mean it?"**

"**About being Mrs. O'Neill?"**

"**Yes, cause I'd totally understand it you know, if you'd wanna keep you name. I mean it's only natural."**

"**I would give up the whole world to be called Mrs. O'Neill. I wouldn't have it any other way."**

"**Oh Sam, I really do love you!"**

"**I love you more, my lovely fiancé!"**

"**Oh my god, I think the word fiancé has never sounded so sexy before!"**

"**This is just the tip of the iceberg, you've seen nothing yet."**

**They spent whatever was left of the night lost in each other's arms, too overwhelmed and amazed to sleep or to even speak. Everything was already said and done. And when the sun dawned this morning Jack whispered in the ears of his fiancée "This is the first sun to dawn on us O'Neills and though the physical sun has to sometime set, our sun will never set until the end of time." **

"**Oh Jack, I wish this moment would never end"**

"**But darling, it has to, you see only then can he next moment come and I promise you from this day on, every moment will be better than the one before."**

"**You promise?"**

"**With all my heart and quarks!"**


	11. Morning After

**Chapter 11**

**That day they went to bed at almost 10 o'clock, when their system was starting to relax a bit from the events of the previous night. **

**It took Sam a very long time to fall asleep which was unusual for her and it took Jack an extra long time to fall asleep than he usually took. **

**But this time he wasn't thinking and blaming himself about Charlie – like he was used to - but he was thinking about how great his life turned out to be. After all that has happened to him and all the bad he's done in his life somehow his life took a turn to the best and the woman laying next to him in bed, lost In her own thoughts, was solely responsible for that. **

**Boy did he love her! **

**Sure he was married before and he was in numerous relationships but this was different. Only when you feel true love do you realize that you've never loved before. Sure he did love Sarah, but he loved her in the way he thought love was. Now that he's known Sam did he discover that what he felt for Sarah was just a strong form of like or even love but not the kind of love you felt for Sam. **

**Not the kind of love that causes you not only to sacrifice your life for your partner but to sacrifice your happiness to make the other happy. The kind of love that makes you only feel alive when you feel her breath by your side and that makes your whole being turn up side down when you look into her eyes. The kind of love he felt gave him butterflies: a term he'd only heard in songs and movies and always thought it never existed. That was the love he felt for Samantha Carter and for the first time he's glad that he hadn't died in all the occasions he could have, for he would've died without ever having felt this way, he'd have died without even knowing what it felt like to have truly lived. **

**He was thankful, deeply and truly thankful and he was certain he thanked god for what he was feeling, which was odd for he hasn't believed in a god for a very long time. He actually never was really religious but attended church and prayed from time to time up until Charlie. But now he was certain that there's a god he could feel his whole being fill up with faith, for only with a presence of a god would his life suddenly turn to the kind of life he only heard of in fairytales. **

**While his whole soul was being flooded by an extreme feeling of love, gratitude and happiness, he was falling into a state of deep and peaceful sleep that he'd forgotten for a very long time.**

**

* * *

**

**Sam could feel the wheels inside her fiancé's head turning but somehow she was sure that these weren't second thoughts about what he'd just asked her but relief that they'd finally gotten it over with. And though she'd always had second thoughts in her previous relationships this time she was certain. All the previous times she wasn't sure because she was waiting for this, for Jack. Sure she didn't even know Jack when she was with Jonas, but she was holding out for someone better, someone that was exactly like Jack. **

**She couldn't believe that she's finally found the one and admitted it. For ten years they both knew that they were meant to be and that someday she'd be sitting next to him in bed with this ring on her finger, but still she couldn't believe that it was finally that day. **

**She was relieved that her live had finally turned out the way she'd always hoped for but never thought would happen. She couldn't help but imagine her father looking down at her smiling and beaming that she's finally found happiness and hadn't let anything in her way. She could see him bragging to her mother that he told her so and that she'd finally done what he asked and she could see her mother smiling proudly. She could also see General George Hammond sitting next to them tapping her dad on the shoulder telling him that their kids did finally see the way. She could see him winking at Jack and her for finally doing the right thing. **

**She smiled back at them and then caught herself before she actually spoke to them looking at the man who lay beside her on bed. She didn't want him to think he's proposed to a nutcase. Sure he knew she was crazy but not talking to dead guys crazy. **

**She laughed silently at herself and then found herself lost in ring laying there in her finger and sparkling in the sunbeam that escaped through the curtains. How did he find something so beautiful and so reflecting her? It was everything she'd ever wished for only better. It was simple but elegant, with diamonds and still with blue stones (her favorite color), and most importantly it had three stones which showed how much he'd come to know her: 3 is her favorite number as it is a prime and also an odd number and at the same time it's better than one, who's alone and two who's second in line. Three stones represent unity, being surrounded from both sided and being special as the diamond in the middle stood out from the blue stones surrounding it. This was how much he knew her and she was certain that he'd thought of all that while picking her ring. **

**She took one deep breath to fill her body with the fresh morning breeze and squeezed her body deeper to his as he tightened his hug around her and curved his body to adjust to hers. She fell asleep with a smile drawn on her face, inside the reassurance of his hug.**

**

* * *

**

**And the picture drawn on the bed was that of a happy couple tightly gripping each other with large grins drawn on their faces all through their sleep which was filled with happy dreams for the future. The sun entered the room from a small slit between the curtains filling the room with yellowish light. The morning breeze was slowly blowing through the curtains filling the room with the scent of the flowers from the garden and the birds were chirping on the trees outside. The scene was a heavenly one that needed to captured and kept safely in the archives of eternal happiness of the whole multiverse.**


	12. Decision

**Chapter 12**

**At around 4 in the afternoon, both Sam's and Jack's cell phones started ringing at the same instant. They both sprung out of bed immediately to the 991 tone on their cell phones. They looked at each other in alarm then exchanged a loving glance while they both answered their phones.**

**While General Landry was informing Sam of the news, the president on the other line was telling Jack the exact same thing: they got a contact from a race claiming to be the infamous Furrlings and claiming to have vital information about the fate of the universe as a whole. Bottom line: the two senior officers were to head to the SGC immediately.**

**After almost 9 minutes both were seated in the car with coffee to go. Sam had decided to wear the ring on her finger and only in case of off world travel would she protect it with her dog tags. Though they knew they were supposed to start discussing the thrill of finally getting to meet the Furrlings or what could possibly be the reason for their contact, they couldn't bring themselves to do so. There were more important things on their minds. **

**They were engaged!**

**What would they tell the team? How would they react?**

**But the most important thing on their minds was how happy they really were. They were both beaming in their seats, grinning foolishly at themselves and looking dreamingly into the space in front of them. Only 2 minutes later, did Jack break the silence. **

"**So, how are we doing today?"**

"**We're doing just fine, darling. Aren't we?"**

"**Indeed, we are, love!"**

**Only after some flirting and loving conversation did Sam say what was on her mind.**

"**I'm not going!"**

**Jack was startled by the sudden change of subjects and looked at her with questioning eyes and raised eyebrows.**

"**I'm not taking the Atlantis Command!"**

"**Sam…."**

"**Jack!" she said with determination in her eyes that he'd only seen so many times and knew well enough.**

"**I'm not going! I'm staying with my husband-to-be. If you really want me to be happy you wouldn't try to convince me otherwise. And if you know me like I know you do, you'd know that that's what I really want. I wouldn't have it any other way. My career has already taken more than it deserves. Plus I love working with my team, they're the ones who get me, I wouldn't only be giving you up, but my family, too. So, I'm not going!"**

**The words left her mouth like out of a canon, like she was afraid she wouldn't get to say all she'd intended to. She needed to get this out of her system and she needed him to agree, she didn't have it in her to keep on trying to convince him. She was never so certain about anything in her life, like she was now certain that she wanted to stay and there wasn't the tiniest part of her that felt otherwise. Who needed to be in Command anyway? It would only give her restless nights and take her further away from the action and science she loved.**

"**OK."**

"**What? That's it? You're letting me off the hook that easily?"**

"**Yes! Isn't that what you wanted?" he said beaming at her proud of himself and amused that she didn't expect him to get her so easily and approve of her decision.**

"**Yes, I mean, sure. But I thought you'd make it a bit harder for me, not that I'm not thrilled that you didn't!"**

"**Sam, I meant what I said. All I want in life is for you to be happy and not do something because of me or because you think it'd make me happy. If you wanna stay I'll support your decision with all my heart, but only if you wanna stay for you not for me. I only wanted to make sure that you've thought this through and that you know what you're options are and that you make a thought-through decision. And I'll say it again, if you wanna go, I'd also support you with all my heart and I'd be thrilled for you and we'll find ways to visit and see each other, I'll make sure of it."**

"**No Jack, I really wanna stay. Every part of me has thought it through and every part of me wants to stay."**

"**OK then, you're staying!" he said with a smile that would melt any woman's heart.**

"**I am!" she laughed with all her heart. Soon he was joining her in a laugh that filled the whole neighborhood. **

**He then handed her the phone "If you're sure of it, then I think you should get it over with."**

**She looked at him with unbelieving eyes. It always made her stomach jump when he did something like that. How could he always read her mind and do what she was silently wishing for him to do. How could they be so deeply connected? She never believed in stuff like that when her friends told her about it. She used to think to herself, how stupid and childishly romantic were they to believe in such things. There wasn't something like ESP and loving someone so deeply that you felt him inside you and that you could only be happy when he is and that you knew with absolute certainty (which actually doesn't exist, as nothing in the whole world is certain or absolute but the fact that everything in life is uncertain and relative) what he was thinking and what he wanted even when he himself didn't know it. Or at least that's what she thought, up until she met Jack and started to allow herself to open up for him.**

"**Sam? You wanna make that call or do you need more time to think? Sorry if I'm rushing you, I just thought you needed to get it over with. We have the whole week to decide, we can talk it through, there's no rush. I'm….."**

"**No baby it's not that. That's what I really wanted to do. I wanna call them now and finish it; I was just lost in my thoughts for a second there!"**

"**Yeah?" he was waiting for her to elaborate. He was kind of hoping she'd say she was daydreaming about him and how much she loved him, though he was sitting right there next to her. He knew that was a bit farfetched and arrogant of him but hey a guy can dream, can't he?**

"**I was thinking of you and how much I love you. I love you, love you. Not the love I've felt before but a whole new love, the love I thought was only true in fairytales."**

"**I was kind of hoping you'd be thinking that! Does that make me a horrible egocentric maniac?"**

"**No that makes you the guy I love, that always knows what I'm thinking and what I want."**

"**By the way, I was thinking the same thing about you and about love last night. All the love I've felt before wasn't even love at all."**

"**Not even with Sarah?"**

"**Not even with Sarah!"**

"**Oh you don't believe how relieved I am. Part of me was always worried, that I'd be competing with your first love and the mother of your… I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…"**

"**It's OK Sam. You didn't wanna compete with the mother of my child. It's understandable and you're not competing with anyone. All the women I've known before were competing with your ghost without even knowing what they were up against. And it's OK for you to bring up Charlie, sure it's a sensitive subject and it still brings up a certain amount of pain but you can mention him and ask about him when you want to."**

"**I want and I will, but not today. Today I want you to focus on only the happiness to come not the pain that partly passed. Now would you mind handing me the phone, we've got a phone call to make!"**

"**There you go your Majesty!"**

"**Thank you, your Royal Highness!"**

**Seconds later they pulled up and were in their parking spot in the SCG but stayed in the car for another minute until Sam had finished informing the president about her refusal of the Command. Though he didn't like it very much he understood it and hoped that she'd reconsider until the end of the week.**


	13. Utopia

**As 13 is my favorite number, this will be a longer chapter: action and drama packed, though I ask you to beware the end!**

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 13**

**SG-1 (excluding Vala who was in personal leave, to reconcile with her father, when the contact from the Furrlings came) accompanied by General Jack O'Neill, emerged from the other side of the Stargate in a new Galaxy, according to the 8 chevron-address sent to them by the 3****rd**** race of the 4 race alliance. **

**The Furrlings were everything the SG team and everyone who'd heard of them had expected, only more.**

**The team found themselves standing on a flying rock that housed the Stargate and overviewed the whole "City", if you could call it that. **

**The rock changed colors every 13 seconds and was flying around in the atmosphere around the planet, revealing the different and colorful scenery of the Furrlings' homeland. The view from above was enchanting, it was almost as if you'd entered a movie made by Disney. **

**Three suns were shining and at the same time 13 moons were shining on the other side of the horizon. The sky was filled with moons, suns, galaxies, nebulae and star constellations. When you looked at the sky you were almost hypnotized by the countless number of colorful, shining bodies. Not only Sam was mesmerized to the picture she was seeing above her, the whole team had their heads turned towards the sky: staring breathlessly at it without being able to make a sound. Everyone but Cam recognized the feeling, as they'd felt similarly enchanted by a piece of technology they'd encountered 6 years ago during their travels. Hopefully the effect of this breathtaking scene would be nothing like that of the light they'd met before.**

**After a few minutes of staring in awe, they got themselves together and turned away from the sky only to take a look at the planet itself. And if that were even possible, the planet was every bit as magical as the atmosphere surrounding it. There were trees of every color available and of every possible form that would pop into one's mind. There were millions of butterflies dancing around, with sizes varying from normal earth butterflies to hawks' size. There were water meadows that were glittering from the various light sources coming from the sun. There were fairy-like birds that filled the whole place with angelic singing. The sweet scent of the flowers reached every corner of the planet. There were different types of animals playing around, none of them looked even remotely familiar and none of them looked harmless. The whole place made you feel like everything was going to be alright. It felt like they'd finally reached the impossible: a Utopia in every sense of the word.**

**Jack, who'd been forced to watch Tinker Bell by his lovely fiancée a few months ago, immediately recognized the similarity**

"**Welcome to Pixie Hollow, y'all!" his said playfully and pulled Sam closer to him. The two of them exchanged a loving look.**

"**You know I still don't believe you two are engaged! I mean I told you to go for it, but I didn't think you'd do so fast." Said Daniel without taking his eyes off the scenery underneath them. **

"**Indeed" said Teal'c with similar enchantment by the planet.**

"**What can I say, I make it a habit to follow the advice of my best friends!" said Jack ironically.**

"**Of course you do!" replied Daniel cynically.**

"**Personally, I'm thrilled for the two of you. Now you can fish as much as you like Sam" he addressed his teammate with suggestive eyes, as he was referring to her password that she'd confided him with almost a year ago.**

"**You really need to let it go, Cam. I already told you I've changed it and know you can't know what it is." She continued before he could open his mouth.**

"**Yes Cam, you can't know it. Only her husband-to-be can. What is it, love?" he said while faking a flirting gesture.**

"**I don't think so, love!" she said in her oh so famous dismissive way that she'd used with people like the imaginary Urgo in the past.**

**The lovers' playful nagging was interrupted, when the rock moved to a stop and they were each carried down to the surface by hundreds of tiny blue butterflies on white Egyptian cotton sheets. **

"**Boy this is really heaven." Sam said, almost drunk.**

"**You can say that again!" said Cam.**

"**I need to start taking notes." Daniel said busily, while speaking hastily into his camcorder, not knowing which part to capture first.**

"**Relax Danny boy, you can take as long as you like, no one's rushing you from this place." Jack reassured.**

**When they reached the ground they were met by the loveliest creatures their eyes had ever set sight at. They were truly Furrlings! The creatures looked cuddlier, than any kid's teddy bear ever has. They looked sweeter than any baby has ever looked and more innocent, too. They had this amazing smile on their faces that made you doubt if they ever felt anything but happiness. Their bodies were whiter than the whitest snow. They had eyes so deep and blue that you feared you'd drown inside them. Their eyes looked at you so brightly and expectedly that you felt you were invincible. They were so big, those eyes, that you felt the way kids feel when they find a puppy lost in the street and feel they need to take it in. They were fair sized, not too big that they'd scare you away and not too small that you'd fear that you'd crush them by only touching them. All the Furrlings wore a rainbow colored necklace that seemed to emit some sort of energy that connected them on a subatomic level, figured Sam. There were hundreds of Furrlings in sight. Most of them were dancing and playing around in the fields, their laughter resounding like that of happy children. There were around 20 others greeting the highly anticipated guests.**

"**Greetings." Spoke the largest Furrling of them all. He seemed to be the leader; he even wore some sort of tiara on his head.**

**As soon as he uttered those words, they could swear their ears were hurting from the sweetness and tenderness of his voice. They had never ever heard a voice so pure, gentle and sincere. He spoke so softly as if afraid to harm the air with his words. At that instance they were all thinking the same thing: Screw the SGC and saving the world, this is what life is supposed to be like. This is where they'd wanna spend the rest of their lives, starting today!**

"**Greetings!" said Jack and Cam simultaneously.**

**But as always it was Daniel who took a step further and started introducing the team.**

"**Greetings! We are, as you are probably aware, from the planet earth. I am Daniel Jackson, this is General Jack O'Neill, Colonel Cameron Mitchell, Colonel Samantha Carter and Teal'c."**

"**Yes, we are well aware of these delightful facts!" said the leader in a sing songy tone.**

"**Well, then I will skip the introductions and start by saying how delighted we finally are to meet you. You know we've made contact and friendship with all the other races from your alliance but were never able to figure out your whereabouts."**

"**Yes we know. We've been monitoring you from afar ever since you started showing promise. You have proven yourselves worthy to become the fifth race as out dearly missed friends the Asgard told you. You are a truly special race. And amongst your race you are the most special individuals." **

**Then he turned to Cam "Yes, even you Cameron Mitchell, despite what you think you belong to this team, albeit the late entrance."**

**Then he turned to face Jack "Of course you, Jack O'Neill, are the most special individual alive. Like one of the Asgards put so accurately: you are legendary."**

"**Loki was a crazy Asgard with a knack for exaggeration and trying to get himself out of trouble." Answered Jack casually**

"**One of the reason that make you so special is your modesty and that you honestly don't think you deserve all this. But your deflecting won't work with us. We are all-knowing you know! We can know what you're feeling, even if you don't know it."**

"**Oh! OK then." Jack said trying to joke fully hide his disappointed earning himself a heartfelt laugh from his fiancée and a spank on the back.**

"**You are all wondering while we have summoned you here to our beloved home planet."**

"**Yeah sure ya betcha!"**

"**As you are well aware after the Asgard died out keeping the balance in the Galaxy has become increasingly harder. Sure the Goua'uld are once and for all out of the picture and the Replicators no longer form a threat. But there are other more dangerous races out there."**

"**Yeah we know, we've met them the Ori and the Wraith. And we're happy to inform you that the Ori no longer from a threat." Jack said proudly.**

"**We know you've met them, but they are nothing compare to the danger we are talking about. Sure you've also destroyed the Ori, but did you ever wonder what could be so powerful as to have created the Ancients and the Ori?"**

"**We thought the Ancients and the Ori were those who created all life in the Galaxies." Daniel couldn't help the excitement in his voice.**

"**Sure they did. But who created the first humans that primarily ascended and divided into the Ancients and the Ori. Who created the Alterans?"**

"**Who?" Cam wanted to know the answer to the question. He felt he was in one of those old Star Wars movies and he liked it.**

**Jack just looked at him questioningly and raised his eyebrows, Teal'c did the same thing.**

"**A race called the Rubies."**

"**Rubies as in red and expensive?" Jack couldn't help himself as always.**

"**No, Jack O'Neill, Rubies as in one of the two most powerful races in the entire Multiverse. You see there were the Sapphries and the Rubies. The Nox and we are descendants of the Sapphries. The Asgard and the Alterans are descendants of the Rubies. And like every story there is good and evil. Like the Ancients had the Ori as their evil twins, the Asgard have evil twins spawn from their source the Rubies."**

"**What about the Nox and you?" Sam asked.**

"**The Sapphries are pure of heart. We aren't different from the Nox; we live by almost the same morals. The Rubies is considered the evil twin of the Sapphries and the Asgard and the Ancients are the Tok'ra, if you will. They are the minority of the Rubies. They rebelled against the evil and turned good, not the other way round as you were lead to believe."**

"**Nice!" Jack exclaimed.**

"**The Garls have grown stronger in the past year that they did in the past 5 millennia."**

"**Excuse me, the Garls?" asked Daniel and Sam at the same time.**

"**The evil twins of the Asgard. They were always being held at bay by the Asgard. Even in the later years where the Asgard were growing weaker and had the replicators at their hands, there was no chance for the Garls to rise. You see the Garls are amongst the most intelligent races. They don't like competition as they are well aware that even if you win, you'll have lost many resources along the way. So it turned out that their plan was to let the other races fight amongst themselves and eliminate each other in the process. Only then would the Garls make their move and take over the entire universe in a single move. And what better time to strike! Now that the Asgard have died out, the Ori, Goua'uld and Replicators are destroyed, the Ancients too busy with their own problems and their non-interference rules, the Nox and us build with the incapacity to partake in any violent act, the Garls have no competition at all."**

"**What about the Wraith or whatever other races there is out there." Daniel asked.**

"**Sure there are many other races than the few we've mentioned, but the ones I've mentioned are the only ones relevant as they are the only ones with the capabilities to influence the universe. And the Wraith are a mere threat for the Garls as they can't live without humans. Just like the Goua'uld, they are an easy target and could be destroyed with a single button push. You mustn't forget that the Garls don't value human life and whenever the opportunity would arise itself they'd kill all the humans to destroy the Wraith. They can recreate humans later if needed."**

"**Wow, tough crowd! So it seems the Garls are invincible and even if they were stoppable, we've singlehandedly eliminated anyone capable of stopping them." Jack said not knowing whether he wanted to sound ironic or hopeless.**

"**Yes!"**

"**What! You've brought us all this way to tell us that we've an invincible enemy at our hands, bound on universal domination and that there's nothing we can do about it? Are you kidding me?" asked Jack barely controlling his temper**

"**I'm afraid, I'm not kidding you." The leader answered.**

"**Argh!" Jack said while hitting the air. 'Not so cute any more' he thought to himself.**

"**Jack, relax. I'm sure there was a reason why they summoned us here." Sam said while restraining her fiancée with her hands afraid of what her might do.**

"**Isn't there a reason? I mean I'm sure you have an idea or else you wouldn't have bothered telling us?" Sam asked the leader and looked at him and the other Furrlings pleadingly.**

"**Actually there is one race that we haven't mentioned, yet."**

"**Yes?" they all asked expectantly.**

"**The Tauri."**

"**What do you mean the Tauri. We are the Tauri." Jack was confused.**

"**Sir, I think he is aware of that fact and he means us." Cam said.**

"**Indeed I am."**

"**Oh my god. We're in trouble!" said Daniel with a sudden sensation of impending doom.**

"**Indeed!" agreed Teal'c.**

"**Yep." Sam added.**

"**You are the one race who's been capable of getting rid of all the threats that our mighty alliance couldn't eliminate. As you said you singlehandedly destroyed some of the most dangerous races ever known. You are the fifth race. You are the fifth not because you came last but because you are the unifying might. You are the race that closed the pentagon and fulfilled the meaning of life. You know it, you've known it all along, but you doubted yourself so much that you never believed it." He said looking at Daniel.**

"**Your first instinct was right Daniel Jackson. There was indeed an empty spot in the alliance kept for you and your first translation was correct the Tauri were always destined to be the fifth race and from the day you unraveled your Stargate and you and Jack O'Neill set foot on Abydos the prophecy was fulfilled and the forces of evil in the universe started to decline and convert to positive power. The fate of our universe once again lies in your hands."**

"**Well that's a really old one."**

"**I know you are cynical Jack O'Neill. I know all of you are. I'm not saying that by destroying the Garls you'll have destroyed all evil, for I'm as well aware as you are that there's always more evil somewhere, waiting for the right moment to strike. I'm just saying that the Garls are as bad as they come and if we don't do something about them soon we won't live long enough to get to know what other evils are out there."**

"**Ok we're listening. What's the plan?" Cam asked eagerly while firming his grip on his P90 to prove his point.**

"**We have a device by our ancestors that we believe would destroy all the Garls."**

"**But?" Daniel asked.**

"**As you are well aware we can't use it. Our physiology has a failsafe against using any weapons."**

"**Of course you can't." said Jack slightly annoyed by this old broken record.**

"**However you probably can."**

"**Of course we can." Jack was starting to feel amused by this familiar old game. "Let me guess: Only one of us can use it, it will probably be risky and that one could die in the process."**

"**Indeed. But if that one were to fail all the Tauri present here would cease to live."**

"**Close enough." He said high fiving all of the team without getting much enthusiasm in return.**

"**So tell us more about this device." Requested Daniel.**

"**The device allows the one using it to connect to an avatar on the other side: the side of the Garls. Once the connection was established he'd send a self-destruct command to the whole Garls population. You see the Garls aren't that different from the Replicators when it comes to communication and the sense of being part of a whole."**

"**And what would happen to the person connected to the avatar once the self-destruct took place." Sam was worried.**

"**That we don't know. But our guess is that the connection would be broken before it would be allowed to harm the user."**

"**Your guess? I'm sorry you want us to risk our lives to save you and the entire universe and you don't even know what will happen to us in return."**

**Cam was now equally as annoyed as the general has been the entire conversation.**

"**I assure you Cameron Mitchell, we wouldn't ask any of you to risk his life, if there was any other way or if we knew that any of you cherished his own life more than he cherished the life of others."**

"**Ok then so what do you need me to do?" Cam asked preparing himself for the task.**

"**Excuse me, who said that you'd be the one to do it?" Jack asked while putting his hand in Cam's way to stop him.**

"**I mean, it's only natural, sir. I'm the team leader so it should be me and you can't expect you'll do it, you are the Commander of Homeland Security, they need you down there and so does Sam."**

"**I don't think you're going anywhere Colonel before I decide what to do. I mean I'm the oldest here so it's only natural that it'd be me."**

"**Jack!" Sam asked in panic**

"**You know I'm right, honey."**

"**Actually you aren't O'Neill. I'm the oldest one. It should be me." Teal's interrupted the intimate glance shared by the newly engaged couple.**

"**Actually you can't do it either Teal'c. The device only supports Tauri and Ancient physiology." The Furrlings' leader added.**

"**Well then it's settled." Jack said.**

"**No it's not Jack. Cam's right you can't go. I'll do it." Daniel said.**

"**No Daniel you're not." Jack dismissed.**

"**Jack, I think I should….." Sam started to say.**

"**Don't even think about it! No one here is going you get it. It should be me. It will be me!" Jack was practically yelling now.**

"**Jack I've been in Avatar situations before, remember? I could probably handle it best." Sam added**

"**Sam we're not doing this. You're not going. End of story!"**

**The hearty discussion was interrupted by the entrance of a bright light.**

**Oma Desala!**

"**If one knew his purpose the second he was born, then what's the use of living." Was her opening line.**

"**Oma?" Daniel asked thrilled to see his old mentor and happy that she escaped her endless battle with Anubis. "You escaped from Anubis?"**

"**Yes Daniel. I won. And now I'm here to fulfill my destiny and ascend to the final state of existence."**

"**How?" asked Jack.**

"**If one knew his purpose the second he was born, then what's the use of living, Jack?" She repeated.**

"**Daniel?" Jack looked at Daniel helplessly.**

"**I think she means that was her destiny all along. She was the Ancient that interfered the most which allowed her to do all she's done along the way but her true reason for being was to destroy the Garls." Daniel was waiting for reconfirmation from her.**

"**You're right Daniel. The Sapphries created me and implanted me amongst the Rubies so that I would one day serve my purpose, my **_**true**_** purpose. If you immediately knew the candlelight was fire, the meal was cooked a long time ago."**

"**And you've come to know this only now?" Sam asked curiously.**

**Also Teal'c seemed to be feeling extremely curious judging by his extra highly raised eyebrow.**

"**Only in battle of the souls, does the true soul reveal itself and win."**

"**You realized it while fighting Anubis. That's what made you win, didn't it?" Daniel asked in amusement by the old deciphering game he'd missed playing for so long.**

**Oma smiled at him proudly "It is the power of mind that shows who's worthy of the power of winning."**

**Daniel beamed back at her, satisfied with himself.**

**Jack and Sam shared a mocking scoff at the hopeless couple.**

"**Will we be seeing you again?" Daniel asked sentimentally.**

"**I'm afraid not Daniel. Every journey has to come to an end. Once the purpose is fulfilled, there's no purpose in continuing to be." All the bystanders could swear that they saw a tear running down her face and they all knew it was almost as if she was only dreading no longer being able to see Daniel.**

"**A friend is he who accompanies one through his journey and continues on with his after the friend is gone. A friend transcends all phases and existences for friends share their souls." Oma said in pain.**

"**I will miss you Oma!" Daniel also had tears in his eyes. "And thank you for everything, you were truly a dear friend through it all." He said while waving his hands sadly at her in light disappearing figure.**

**Only a few seconds later, did they hear a loud faint boom that obviously came from a faraway place. Then they saw I bright light that faded instantly into thin air. Oma was gone, once and for all.**

**The whole team shared Daniel's sadness for the loss of their most cooperative Ancient.**

**After that the Furrlings population engaged in a loud enchanting cheer that shook the planet from its roots. The cheer conveyed within it the complete feeling the Furrlings were having at the moment and luckily for them the Earthlings were present at that moment and were allowed to experience this sensation of connectedness and joy that they'd never before experienced.**

**After the celebratory meal that tasted like whatever you wanted it to taste the Furrlings escorted their guests and their new allies to the rock from where they could head back home.**

"**Yes Samantha and yes Jack, you are welcome to perform your wedding ceremony here whenever you are ready!" said the Furrlings leader while walking.**

**Jack and Sam exchanged each other a surprised shy look and then turned to face the leader.**

"**How'd you know I was thinking…?" asked Sam while blushing.**

"**Remember, the Furrlings are all knowing. And yes Jack I know you were thinking it, too and no my mind reading isn't scrambled because there are too many of you around." **

**All looks focused on Jack and he felt his whole face turn red. He was struggling for a joke to throw in but was drawing a blank.**

**They all shared a hearty laugh.**

**Suddenly something that wasn't the least bit expected happened: all the laughter and celebration was to end. All the light in the planet was no longer cheerful. The utopia was no longer a utopia. At least, for the visitors that is.**

**While laughing Jack started feeling a tight pinch in his chest and without further notice he collapsed.**

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	14. Dystopia

**Chapter 14**

**Jack put his hand to his chest and started falling to the ground without further notice.**

"**Jack!" Sam screamed in panic trying to stop his fall. Daniel was heading in his direction to hold him and even Teal'c swift hand motion wasn't swift enough as to cushion his decent to the ground. Jack hit the ground so hard that it shook underneath their feet and the strength of the impact caused his body to dribble a few inches above the ground. Sam instantly fell to the ground next to him, feeling his chest for breath sounds and putting her ears to his mouth.**

"**He's not breathing! Help me! He's not breathing!" she was hysteric now: Unable to talk between her sobbing and trying to put her hand together to perform CPR. Sensing her panic, Cam started performing CPR on her fiancée while Daniel started examining him for trauma signs. Teal'c was holding Sam's hand and supporting her body to prevent her from collapsing.**

**She felt her whole body fail next to his. She was feeling the same feeling she'd felt so many times before. She felt like she's losing him. She felt her insides grow hollow and the cheeriness of the planet around her fade. All color turned to gray, the light turned to darkness and inside her all the living died. Why! Why would this happen to them why! What did they do to deserve this. She wasn't able to get herself together. She couldn't bring herself to check his vitals or to give him CPR. She was failing him. Her weakness was failing her love. She could only sit there staring at him. She couldn't even support her own body. She felt every muscle inside her body detach. She could feel all her heart failing and all her quarks evaporating into thin air. If it weren't for Teal's grip she'd have fallen to the ground like her fiancée. She felt her whole body would sink through the ground, that's how heavy she felt. That's how useless she felt. Unable to bring herself to do something to help her one and only love she at least had to urge someone to do something. Someone with the knowledge and facilities to save him. And what better someone than the Furrlings. They were the siblings of the Nox so to speak and Nox had healing and reviving powers.**

"**Do something, don't just stand here! You're all-knowing aren't you! Do something, save him!" Sam was screaming hysterically at the Furrling leader. "That's the love of my life lying there on the ground! Save him!"**

"**I'm afraid there's nothing we can do. Every physical body has to cease someday that's the course of nature." The leader answered compassionately.**

"**But he's legendary you said it yourself! He can't die, damn it!"**

"**But that's how legends are made!"**

"**We need to get him to the SGC, stat." Cam said and at the same moment the three men were carrying Jack towards the gate.**

"**Legends die and that's when it all begins. Only then does the universe decide how to restore its balance. Only then can life be reborn. You must have patience Samantha."**

**But of course Sam wasn't even listening she was already halfway through the gate.**

"**Just be patient. All legends are made new again, that's how the conservation of the meaning of life works, you'll see!"**

**And with that the gate closed!**

**

* * *

**

**When they came out on the other side of the gate, the three men found themselves carrying air! Startled by the sudden change in weight and by the shock that their friend disappeared into thin air they fell to the ground. Sam was in shock now: trembling, cold and no longer lucid; she couldn't react to the fact that her fiancée disappeared and she couldn't bring her head to form a thought. Her body and her whole being were in distress.**

**General Landry hurried to the gate room: "What going on? Are you alright? Where's General O'Neill?"**

**They all looked at each other in confusion. Where was the General?**

"**Jack was, uh, hurt. He, uh, we were carrying him back here to get him medical attention, but, uh, he, uh…" Daniel tried to be as coherent as possible, which was incredibly hard given the circumstance.**

"**He disappeared, sir!" Cam added equally confused.**

"**What?" General Landry couldn't believe his ears. I'm afraid you aren't making any sense. Get them to the infirmary!" he ordered his daughter. The medics helped the distressed team to the infirmary and General Landry followed them there.**

"**Legends die and that's when it all begins. Only then does the universe decide how to restore its balance. Only then can life be reborn." Daniel kept mumbling to himself.**

**General Landry was afraid that this time his team had truly lost it. They were all looking dumbly into the space in front of them. And where was General O'Neill? Did he really disappear? What the hell happened on that planet?**

**

* * *

**

"**The whole team was in shock when we brought them in, but their condition has improved with exception of Dr Daniel and Colonel Carter. I'm afraid she's worse off. I can't give her any more sedatives and the ones I've given her didn't affect her a bit." Dr Lahm was debriefing the General.**

"**So can I talk to Colonel Cameron ant Teal'c?"**

"**Yes, sir."**

**Teal'c and Cam started debriefing the General from the beginning of the story until they reached the part where they stepped through the gate carrying Jack on one end and emerged from the other side carrying only air. Then they became confused again.**

"**What do you mean he disappeared? Did you let him fall before entering the gate?" the General was growing equally more confused and impatient.**

"**Of course not, sir. I'm positive we entered the gate with him." Cam said to defend himself.**

"**Cameron Mitchell speaks the truth. O'Neill seems to have disappeared during the gate travel." Teal'c confirmed.**

"**Legends die and that's when it all begins. Only then does the universe decide how to restore its balance. Only then can life be reborn." Resounded Daniel's voice from the distance but his voice was getting closer.**

"**Legends die and that's when it all begins. Only then does the universe decide how to restore its balance. Only then can life be reborn." He repeated. "Jack's a legend! He will be made new again. That's how it works. Legends die and that's when it all begins, you see! I need to get to my quarters. I need to check my meaning of life records." Daniel said sounding very much like a lunatic.**

"**I'm afraid you're not going anywhere in that shape. You need to rest Dr Jackson. Your research will have to wait." Dr Lahm was accompanying him back to his bed.**

"**I can't. I gotta see this. It explains why Jack disappeared. I just don't remember what it said exactly. You gotta let me go." Daniel was growing more rebellious acting like a psychiatric patient in need of a haldol dose.**

"**Dr Jackson, I insist you return to your bed, or I'll force you to do so." Dr Lahm threatened.**

"**No, let me go. Let me go! What do you want? Let go of me!" the guards were now holding him back and he was struggling to escape their grip with no luck. **

"**Don't just stand there, help me! Teal'c? Cam?" Daniel pleaded.**

**His two friends and the general just looked at him compassionately, he'd truly lost it.**

**Only when Dr Lahm administered some extra sedatives did his screaming grow lower and he slowly faded away.**

**A few hours later when he regained his consciousness and sobered up from his shock were he able to explain to them what he meant and prove it with the documents from his library.**

"**You see Jack is dead!"**

"**What?" the general was once again shocked.**

"**You know dead, but my dead not everybody else's dead."**

"**Huh?" Cam was as always dumbstruck.**

"**Legends die and that's when it all begins. Only then does the universe decide how to restore its balance. Only then can life be reborn."**

"**There he goes again. Guard!" Cameron started shouting.**

"**Wait, wait hear me out. This passage that the leader of the Furrlings said sounded familiar to me, because I'd read it before in a passage from the meaning of life." He gave the general his notes to prove his point: "Here see, it says right here after that: 'Legends die and then legends disintegrate to renew and cleanse the energy of the universe. Only that way can life be restored and only legends restore. Only legends are made new again. Only after the cleansing is done and the energy is equally distributed are legends reborn. Only legends get to ascend to that state. Only legends restore. Only legends are reborn and that's how legends are made.'"**

"**O'Neill is a legend!" there were tears in Teal'cs eyes.**

"**Jack is a legend! You see he ascended but in a more absolute manner than I or any other ascended being did. Jacks body has turned to energy and is now contributing in building and restoring the universe. After his purpose is fulfilled he'll return to us." Daniel explained.**

"**I get a headache from ascension and higher planes of existence." Cam said.**

"**Not higher planes of existence. **_**The**_** highest plane of existence." Daniel stressed.**

"**Yes Dr Jackson we get it. He ranks pretty high among you ascended beings. When will he return?" asked General Landry impatiently.**

"**That's the thing, sir. I don't know. I could take a day and it could take millennia. There's no way to know!" Daniel said, his enthusiasm suddenly disappearing with the realization that he would probably never see his best friend again.**

"**You mean… you mean I should declare him lost in action?" asked General Landry in shock.**

"**I believe so, sir. He's gone!" Daniel's eyes were sparkling with tears that he could no longer hold in. He turned to face the wall while he tried containing his emotion.**

**Teal'cs face was filled with pain and grief.**

"**What are we gonna do about Sam?" Cam asked worriedly.**

"**I guess we better figure it out. The effect of the anesthetic Dr Lahm gave her is about to wear out."**

"**Anesthetic?" Daniel asked.**

"**Yes. She was in severe shock that no medicine worked and she risked harming her whole nervous system. Dr Lahm thought the only way to conserve her nerves and spare them the strain was to put her into a chemically induced coma or to give her an anesthetic."**

**

* * *

**

**Sam was starting to regain consciousness. She didn't know where she was and what had happened. She just knew she felt deep pain in her heart and was hollow inside. She turned her head to each sides of the bed to find her fiancée playing around with anything waiting for her to wake up. But he was nowhere to be found. Why?**

"**Sam?" called a familiar voice. "Sam it's me Daniel. Can you hear me?"**

**She nodded softly and opened her eyes a bit wider.**

"**How are you feeling?" asked Cam's voice.**

"**Wha….. What happened?" she asked faintly.**

"**You were in shock so they had to sedate you." Daniel answered.**

"**Jack?" she asked.**

"**He didn't make it Sam. He ascended to the highest plane of existence." Daniel tried to slowly explain.**

**But with that the effect of the anesthetic had already entirely worn off and she was on the verge of having a nervous breakdown.**

"**Ascended?" she screamed hysterically. She could barely breathe and she couldn't contain her body. Her body was going through shock all over again. She was trembling harder this time and she was sweating all over.**

"**Didn't make it? Don't tell me he didn't make it! Of course he made it! He wouldn't leave me! He made it, you just don't know it!" she was speaking very fast between her sobbing and continuous tears. She wasn't aware of her body any more. She felt like an observer inside her own body. She knew she was losing it. She knew that was what crazy looked like and she knew she was behaving like a lunatic. But she couldn't stop it. She was having a nervous breakdown. This was too much for her to handle. She didn't understand what they were saying. What did they mean didn't make it. What did Daniel mean with ascended? Would he come back? Was he gone? No he can't be gone! What would she do! "What would I do?" she asked out loud.**

"**Sam please calm down." Daniel said restraining her hysteria by holding her tight in his arms and pulling on her from both sides. At first she resisted and started growing more in panic but after some time she let go and allowed him to hold her close. He'd learned that technique long ago: applying body pressure caused the whole body to relax and eased a nervous breakdown. By the time she'd calmed down Teal'c had already gotten Dr Lahm who was heading towards Sam with a huge sedating shot. Sam only grew more hysteric at the sight of the needle and started to free herself from Daniel's grip.**

"**No let me go! Let me go! I don't need this help please! Let me go! I need to go find Jack! Let go of me!"**

**By then Dr Lahm had given a strong sedative for the third time in the same day and twice for the same patient. She was starting to have serious worries about Colonel Carter's mental health. It seemed to her like she was headed towards a brief psychotic episode if she were lucky and a permanent one if she wasn't. and given the fact that Colonel Carter was amongst the smartest human beings alive Dr Lahm couldn't help but worry that the latter was more than possible.**

**While the drugs were taking hold of her body, for the second time that day, she could feel them filling her empty insides. Her brain was too fried to feel anything and the drugs they were filling her with certainly weren't helping. She wasn't feeling! She was void. She wasn't living, she was just being. And with these last revelations she sensed darkness creeping over her, starting from inside her until it engulfed her whole body and finally her whole surroundings. She was consumed by darkness. Everything was black!**


	15. The Ghost Of Love

**This chapter is partly inspired by the song "even in death" by evanescence and I'd suggest you listen to it while reading this chapter. You'll also notice that I'm deeply playing back on 'Legacy' (SG1 season 3) and 'The Real World' (Atlantis season 3). Enjoy! And please please please review, if you get the time.**

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 15 **

**She woke up to find herself alone inside one of the isolation holding rooms. She had no memory of the events that had brought her here but she remembered feeling endless pain. She was confused and felt heavily drugged. She saw a figure approaching her door and was thrilled to see the face as it opened the door: it was Jack!**

"**Oh baby, I've missed you!" she said and threw her arms around his neck and started kissing him.**

"**I've missed you more baby! Get better fast!"**

"**What do I have to get better from? What am I doing here? What's going on?" she pulled away from him in panic. "What's wrong Jack?"**

"**Nothing love! You just suffered from a shock because you thought I was dead or ascended or whatever! But that doesn't matter now. It's all over and I'm back; nothing happened to me"**

"**I remember now. You collapsed and I didn't know what to do. You weren't breathing for so long. And when we got back here you had disappeared. Oh Jack I thought I'd lost you!" she said crying and threw herself in his arms.**

"**Sh… It's ok I'm here now; I'm not going anywhere. Sh…" he held her in his arms and comforted her till she was feeling better.**

"**I love you, Jack!"**

"**I love you more hon." He replied while kissing her all over and ending with kissing the ring on her finger.**

"**Oh come on let's get out of here!"**

"**We can't baby. You need to stay a few more days till Dr Lahm clears you. They say you had it pretty bad. I'm sorry for scaring you so much."**

"**It's ok baby. The important thing is that you're safe and sound. I wanna get better and get out of this place."**

**She saw Daniel heading towards her room, followed by Teal'c, Cam and Vala.**

"**Hey guys!"**

"**Hey there sleepyhead. Look who's finally up!" Cam said.**

"**You know you had us really scared back there but thank god it's all over now." Daniel added.**

"**Yeah, thank god. Jack was just telling me what a nutcase I was."**

**The face of the four visitors instantly turned into a pale shade of white.**

"**Wwwwwwho?" Daniel asked cautiously.**

"**Jack told me! What's wrong with you guys? You all look pretty scared. I realize I must have been a bit scary but it's over now, I'm all better no need to worry. I mean can you blame me for going crazy for thinking I'd lost this angelic smile?" she said pointing at Jack's brightest smile.**

**Of course from her point of view she was pointing towards Jack. From the point of view of all the others present in the room and the surveillance camera she was pointing at an empty chair. **

"**Ok Sam, I just forgot something. We'll be right back." Cam said hastily while pushing the rest of his team outside. Vala who seemed somewhat amused by the nutcase show going on needed to be literary carried outside by Daniel.**

**

* * *

**

**Outside Sam's room:**

"**OK we've got a problem!" Cam said with alarm.**

"**Yes we do!" agreed Daniel.**

"**Big time!" added Vala.**

"**Indeed" confirmed Teal'c.**

**And with that they headed to the general's office radioing the doctor on their way.**

"**Sir, Sam's lost it!" Cam blurted out.**

"**Colonel?" the general looked at him questioningly.**

"**Excuse me Colonel, but we were aware of Colonel Carter having had a psychotic breakdown earlier. That's not new!" Dr Lahm pointed out.**

"**Earlier it was just a psychotic breakdown…" Daniel started to explain.**

"**Now she's having full blown psychosis. She's talking to her dead slash ascended fiancé, sir." Cam continued.**

"**Oh god!" the general was clearly alarmed.**

"**That's what I was afraid of!"**

"**You were aware of this risk, Dr.?" her father asked angrily.**

"**Of course I was, sir. It's an expected side effect given the situation and the breakdown she had. Let's just hope it's a brief episode not full-blown psychosis like the Colonel so nicely put."**

"**This can't be happening. This is too much." And with that Daniel stormed out of the room. His lover, almost girlfriend, followed him outside to try and calm him down. Poor guy, he'd had it tough these past two days. First he lost his best friend in whole wide world and now his sister. No one could handle that.**

**Teal'c was equally upset and dismissed himself politely in order to go relax and reflect in his room.**

"**So what are we gonna do?" Cam asked expectedly.**

"**We could institutionalize her or we could try keeping her here under close observation." Suggested the doctor.**

"**We keep her here. We can't have her mingling with civilians in her current state. See whatever you need and we'll facilitate it for you."**

**

* * *

**

**Back in Sam's new accommodation: a small room with no furniture and white padding on the floor and walls and a tiny window on the side.**

**The room seemed painfully familiar to Daniel. It took him back to the time he spent in a similar room 7 years ago. He felt sorry for Sam. And most importantly he felt frustrated because he could do nothing to help her and prevent her from the pain she was feeling.**

**The scene they saw before them broke all their hearts:**

**Sam lay there in the floor hugging her legs showing the symptoms of an addict in withdrawal. She didn't realize that she had visitors, so she was going about with her life: she was mumbling in a barely audible voice to herself, or so they thought. As they approached her more they could make out what she was saying:**

"**They are trying to convince me that you're gone. But I don't believe them. Yes, that's what I told them; how can you be dead when I see you in front of me and feel the tenderness of your hands caressing my body." She shivered with pleasure in return to her imaginary fiancé's flirting. **

"**They're wrong! I won't let them take you away from me! I didn't take the meds they gave me. I'm not crazy you know I'm not, right? They don't know how much you love me and that you promised never to leave me. They don't hear all these amazing words that you're telling me right now. You're right they're the ones who are crazy. Hold me closer to you Jack never let me go, I hate them all of them! I only love you! They're wrong. You can never leave me, right? Me too baby. Of course with all my heart and quarks."**

"**Ahem… Sam, we're here to visit you." Daniel interrupted with a cough. He could not bear watch this torture another minute. All the others in the room had similar expressions of pain and helplessness drawn on their faces.**

"**Go away! We don't want any visitors!"**

"**Sam please let us help you!" Cam said while carefully placing one hand on her shoulder. She instantly pulled away in panic at the touch of his hand. She started hyperventilating and covering her ears with her hands.**

"**Please leave me alone. Please don't touch me I don't want you here. I'm not crazy, he loves me and he'd never leave me! Leave me alone!"**

**She was screaming in mass hysteria as if protecting herself from a murderer.**

"**Samantha, I'm sorry for your grieving. We all are, but please let us help you through this." Teal'c said sincerely with sorrow and hurt all over his face. He didn't know what to do to help his friend.**

**Daniel threw Vala a glance. It was her turn to say something and as the only other woman in the team maybe she could help.**

"**Samantha! Um I know you feel and believe with all your senses that the general is still here but that's only a defense mechanism. Deep down your subconscious mind knows it's not true!" **

**Sam looked up to face all of them in confusion as if she didn't know what had brought her here.**

**Daniel looked gratefully at Vala and continued elaborating her point. Well played, Vala, he thought to himself.**

"**We know that that's what your mind needs to believe for a while in order to process the news, and that's ok; you can take as long as you want. But it's important that deep down any part of you knows that this isn't true and that someday you're gonna have to accept the fact that he's gone! And we'll be there to help you through." Daniel continued but of course he'd lost Sam at the key word 'he's gone'. At that point she started screaming at them to get out and that he wasn't gone and kept on asking Jack to prove to them that he isn't gone. She only calmed down after the nurses had administered another dose of strong sedative, after Cam had called for them.**

**

* * *

**

"**God! I'm so angry! I can't bear seeing her like this!" Daniel's face was red in anger. "I really wish he were here! He's the only one who'd know how to deal."**

"**I know, I feel like we're all useless! She doesn't want any of us, she doesn't need us! She needs her love!" Cam was equally frustrated.**

"**This will pass. Samantha Carter is strong, she'll get through this." Teal'c assured them trying to keep his calm.**

"**I sure hope you're right buddy!" Cam gave him a friendly tap on the shoulder.**

"**She will be! That's what we women do! We get our hearts broken then live the rest of our lives trying to mend them!" said Vala all-knowingly.**

**With that everyone headed to their own quarters to dwell a bit and to try and move on.**


	16. Escape

**The first part of this chapter is inspired by 'It's not goodbye' by laura pausini (recommended!).I know you probably hate me for what I'm doing to them, I'd hate me too, but that was the only fitting way to make the scenario I had in mind. So have patience and hold out for the end and enjoy!**

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 16**

**A few days later Sam had already sobered up and came to realize that her fiancé was now dead- ascended; and that the one she'd been talking to these past few days was merely a figment of her imagination.**

**Doctor Lahm had already transferred her to a normal room but the door was still locked from the outside when no one else was present, which was rarely the case. All her friends had taken up turns to keep her company. She'd apologized to each one of them about a million times; for her neurotic behavior. She was glad to have them around so she wasn't left alone with her dark, hopeless and destructive dreams. But now it was almost 1 o'clock in the morning and she was naturally unable to fall asleep.**

**She found herself all alone with herself. Truly alone! She felt lonely and hollow inside. She suddenly grew scared of the darkness and felt like it was eating her up and consuming her whole body, so she rushed to the lamp and turned it on.**

**She was overwhelmed with thoughts and she felt that the only successful way to fight them was to allow herself to think them through.**

**What would she do if she were never to see his face again? What if the last time she saw him, was really the last time? Ever?**

**What if she never got to look through those enchanting brown eyes again or to see that light behind his eyes? What if she never got to see his breathtaking smile or hear his angelic laugh again?**

**What if that was really it? What if it was the end? Was he really not coming back? But Daniel ascended twice before but he came back. And all of them were so close to death or actually were dead a hundred times before and they made it. Why would this be any different? That's what they did: they died and waited until the others said nice things about them and then they come back to life. And this time would be the same. With any luck he'll waltz through that door any second now. She expectantly looked at the door, waiting for him to walk through like he'd always done with Daniel.**

**After a few minutes of staring fruitlessly at the door she thought to herself: 'ok then well maybe he'll take a little longer. I mean he's participating in cleansing the universal energy and renewing life! That's gotta take time!'. But deep down she was somehow certain that it wasn't goodbye. She knew that she'd see him again, kiss his tender lips and feel his sweet gentle arms surround her. She believed that part of his energy was hovering around in her room right now giving her the strength to continue convincing herself that he's coming back.**

**She knew he wanted her to be strong right now and to move on, but she couldn't bring herself to do so. She just missed him so much, she had and empty heart and she didn't feel alive. She felt like he's been gone a lifetime, already. She felt like some kind of Zombie stuck midway between the living and the dead. And as much as she could convince herself with any other thing, she wasn't able to stop herself from feeling that way. But that was probably how she was supposed to feel. She didn't actually expect that with a few self reprimanding and lecturing all this would be over. **

**Oh no, this was far from over. This would never be over unless he came back or she finally crossed entirely over to the land of the dead. She wasn't having suicidal thoughts at the moment, she knew better than to end her own life and take the gift of life for granted, but she just knew that it would be so much easier if she were to accidentally drop dead right this instant.**

**It would be so much easier! And It would make a lot of sense. If she were to die right there where she was sitting, life- or rather lack thereof- would be much easier. Death seemed like the ultimate solution. Death seemed like her savior! But she couldn't end her life! She wouldn't! What would Jack think if he knew? He'd be pissed, that's certain. She couldn't end her life, knowing there's the tiniest possibility that he'd come back. It would kill him all over again, if he were to return only to find that she'd taken her own life! No she couldn't do that to him. He didn't deserve this. He didn't have to deal with this. She wouldn't kill herself, for the love of Jack she wouldn't!**

**

* * *

**

**Ten days later, she was released from the infirmary and ordered to get some down time. So naturally she headed home! Home, what a word! What a fictitious word. She headed to the house she shared with Jack. She headed to the house that has been a home until this time 18 days ago.**

**18 days, that's how long had passed, since her fantasy world had broken down. That's how long had passed, since the most tragic day of her life. That's how long had passed, since her whole world as she knew it broke down, for the second time in her life but this time only harder. Now she really had no one in life: after her mother, she still had her 'dad', her brother and her boyfriend. After her father, she still had Jack and he was more than enough. After Jack, she has no one, not even herself! She was alone in this whole wide universe and there was nothing anyone could do about it. No one but one highly ascended being whose energy was currently distributed all over the universe. She looked around her, took one deep breath in and was afraid to let it out again. She held on to it until her face turned blue, then she let it out and repeated the whole procedure again. That's what she's been doing lately. That's what was keeping her going. When she breathed the air, she knew she was breathing part of him in with it. She was carrying his energy inside her. Only then did the hollowness inside her heart fill up a little, until she had to breathe out again that is!**

**She took one final deep breath and opened the front door!**

**Her heart immediately sank. Memories of their last time together in this house were rushing through her head: how they were nagging each other, laughing heartily and running from each other. How he was distracting her while she was hurryingly wearing her earrings while heading to the door and keeping on kissing her on her neck, as she loved. Her whole body was shivering at the memory. She could still feel the tenderness of his lips as they touched her neck. She could still smell his odor filling the whole house. Her eyes drifted over to the sink. Next to it lay two dirty coffee cups: one of them was blue with lipstick on its rim and the other was green with a smiley face drawn it with a permanent marker (they'd drawn it together!). If one didn't know what had happened, one would think this was the home of the happiest couple on earth. Unfortunately for her she knew what had happened and what it meant. She was alone! All alone in this big house!**

**Her eyes wandered to the couch where they lay laughing in each other's arms, he tickling her, she screaming in pleasure. She remembered the more intimate moment they spent on this couch, for being too eager to even make it to the bedroom. Oh, the bedroom! She couldn't even fathom looking inside the bedroom. She knew this was just going to be too much. The bedroom had to wait! She went back to the couch. The couch, where she put her head on his shoulders and felt so close to him that he was closer to her than her own body. They used to watch the Simpsons, here. Or rather she used to watch, he used to say every word with them before they'd even said it. There it lay on the coffee table, no longer funny. The whole series lay there, scattered all over as they were trying to decide which episode to watch next. On that same couch they used to watch her favorite movies that usually ended with them dancing for hours in each other's arms, with no music but the beating of their hearts.**

**She was having the worst of all migraines. All those memories were too much for her brain; too much at once. She suddenly felt a wave of dizziness come over her and she had to sit down on the small step in the foyer.**

**From there her eyes could better see through the hallway and to the halfway closed door of their bedroom! His bedroom. Her bedroom. His bedroom? She didn't know any more.**

**She could see how the sunlight was reflecting on the floor and on the air force t-shirt laying there, the one he'd taken off that day 18 days ago. She could see how the window curtain was dancing in the light breeze, like it used to do when they sometime woke up in the morning and stayed in each other's arms just a bit longer, lost in their sleepy dreams. When she was laying on his chest gently caressing it and one of his hands were playing with her hair and the other was somewhere else where it wasn't really supposed to be. When they were laying there in silence because they knew they didn't really need to exchange words in order to communicate what they were thinking at this moment. When they…… she had to look away. She was overwhelmed. She hadn't noticed it till now but her face was wet from tears. Her shirt was soaking wet! She'd apparently been crying since she'd entered the house but she was too emotionally wired to even notice it. Even now tears were escaping her eyes and running down her eyes, like in a race. She couldn't stop them. She didn't even mean for them to fall they were involuntarily.**

**She caught a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror: she looked a hundred years old. Her eyes were swollen and red from the inside out. There were deep dark rings underneath them. Her face was equally swollen with wrinkles all over. She looked as bad as she felt. Or probably she looked as bad as she was supposed to feel. The way she was actually feeling, was certainly worse. And this house wasn't helping! At all! She felt like she couldn't get any air. She was suffocating. The space suddenly grew smaller and she felt the walls closing in on her. She felt her heart racing and her palms sweating. She was feeling dizzy and still her eyes kept on locking on parts in the house that brought up yet more painful memories. Everything was going through her mind in fast motion. The proposal, the love, the missions, the hurt, the prisons, the wounds, the torture, the argument, the job, the earth, the military, the zatar'c detection device, drowning, the Stargate documentary and the fear that he'd died, Janet, her dad, Hammond, the young O'Neill, him and Cassey, him and Sarah, his hurt, his smile, their dates, their nights, the coffee, the fishing, the nights apart, the ring, the parallel universes….. everything. All these pictures were going through her mind like a slideshow, a movie.**

**She felt stuck. She couldn't breathe. She wanted to escape. She wanted to escape her own body. Her own body was keeping her trapped. She needed to get out she needed to get away; away from all this pain, and sorrow. She needed to at least pretend that life was carrying on. Even if she wasn't, she needed life itself to. Though she wasn't alive, far from it, life was going on. It wasn't stopping for any one, not even her. She needed to participate in the act of life, albeit without living. But as long as she was stuck there she had to at least try and contribute to the life of those who were still living it. But first of all she needed to get out. She needed to escape.**

**She ran out of the house, like somebody was chasing her with a gun. She rushed towards the car without once turning back. She felt like there was someone who'd escaped from a horror movie behind her. She was afraid to look back. She couldn't look back. She needed to leave this place. She needed to leave her body, if she could. She was no longer rational. She felt her panic and hysteria take hold of her. She was now running as fast as she could, but no longer towards the car. Her silent crying had turned to hysteric sobbing now. She was shivering and trembling but she didn't stop running. She had to escape. She couldn't let the darkness and hollowness take hold of her. She needed to get as far away as possible.**

**She kept on running for at least 3 hours. The whole time she didn't look back or stop to take a breath. She hadn't even had one coherent thought. She was just escaping or rather trying to escape. After 3 hours, she could no longer feel her body. She was a mess. She was numb from pain, of the body and heart.**

**She walked into the nearest diner to find someone who could help her. Of course it didn't take her any effort to find someone who tended to her. As soon as she walked into the place everyone looked up from what they were doing. She looked like somebody who was about to commit suicide or who'd already committed it and waiting for it to take effect.**

**The waiter headed her way:**

**"Excuse me, ma'am, how can I help you?"**

**"I….. I need….."**

**"You need any food or anything to drink ma'am? You sure look like you need to freshen up! You need the bathroom perhaps?"**

**"I… no I…."**

**"You need me to call someone for you someone to pick you up?"**

**"There's no one… he's gone... There's no one! Oh god he's dead!" and with that she collapsed on the table she had been seated on and started sobbing with her head wrapped inside her arms.**

**"Ma'am. There must be someone I can call to help you. You got a home? You work somewhere? Just tell me where and I'll help you."**

**"The SGC! Cheyenne Mountain. Cccccc…. Call Daniel Jackson."**

**"Daniel Jackson? You got his number on you?"**

**"I….."**

**"Ok then I'll look inside your bag don't panic please." He said while carefully putting his hand inside her cross-bag looking for a wallet or some sort of ID. She was now completely numb and unresponsive. She was just staring into empty space.**

**The waiter found a card with Daniel's name and phone number on it. There were many other cards, too, but she'd asked for the guy named Daniel. Poor gal! She'd completely lost it!**

**

* * *

**

**Later that night after Daniel had brought her to the SGC, recovered from his scare and Dr Lahm had freshened her up, she requested to talk to the general.**

**She'd told him that she was thinking of accepting the Atlantis Command, if it was still on the table that is! She knew she still had to get her act together but she wouldn't ask if she didn't think she could do it. She really needed this. She needed to get away and to feel like she's of use. She'd of course follow up with the base therapist in Atlantis, if that was necessary.**

**The general accepted her offer and said that this was exactly what she needed. She assured her that she would do great. Then he informed the president who immediately gave her the command with the condition of her seeing a therapist and having Colonel Shepherd review her decisions as an adjusting period.**

**(Of course the conversation between her and the general wasn't as smooth as she'd told her teammates. There'd been endless asking how she was holding up etc. He also asked if she was sure she was ready and why she'd suddenly changed her mind. He'd stated his concern for her wellbeing as almost her father. He was mostly concerned for her mental wellbeing. But after a long conversation, whose main points she'd told her friends, she convinced him she was ready, though she wasn't quite sure herself. The was one thing she was sure of: It would be better than anything else she would do. She needed to get away, far away, and what further place to go than another galaxy? And honestly, she could certainly use the distraction.)**

**So it was set. She was leaving tonight. And she wasn't taking anything with her from her house. All the stuff she needed was already on the base (or so she convinced her friends.). She had tons of spare clothes and necessities on the base and most importantly she had a photo of Jack that she'd carefully snuck into the bag when Daniel wasn't looking, as he would've spent hours on questioning her (similarly to how the general had. They were all concerned and with good reason, too, she figured.).**

******She was leaving, hopefully to never come back to this dark and ugly planet. She was leaving, hopefully to a place where pure fresh Jack-energy was more than it was here.**

**She was leaving, to try and go on.**

**And with a pretty ring on her finger and a tear in her eye, _she left_! **


	17. Denial

You'll find that I kept part of the transcript of this episode unchanged and used them as they were and there are other parts I changed slightly. I'll probably be doing that for the few coming chapters, as I feel I need to keep my story as close to the storyline of the series as possible, as long as I am writing of a time where there were actual episodes and action. I don't own anything and I am only using part of the episode text to make it as true as possible. I hope you don't mind and like that I am keeping the actual conversations and twisting it a bit when I see there's opportunity for doing so!

Chapter 17

Sam was gazing over the city from the balcony outside the Control Room. She had changed into her Atlantis uniform. She hadn't unpacked her suitcase yet though. She decided to leave this to a less crowded time: all morning long she'd been visited by greeters who welcomed her to Atlantis, which was nice, with exception of MacKay's awkward conversation. But she needed to unpack when there was no one around and she had time to be with herself. She needed to unpack Jack's picture and tell it how her day had been. She needed to let her guard down and cry. She'd been keeping her act ever since she's arrived. But now she was so close to losing it. She was alone looking over this marvelous city, the ocean was making nice music and the air was fresh. She stood there gazing in the distance lost in her heartbreaking thoughts. She forgot where she was and who she was supposed to be. She stood there lost and found some tear drops escaping her eyes. She looked around in alarm to make sure no one was around and quickly wiped them out. She wasn't about to let anyone on base see her cry! Not again! Not when she was supposed to the Commander! No her feelings won't show. They couldn't be allowed to show. There has been enough humiliation on Earth already. That's part of why she escaped. Here she wouldn't make the same mistake again. She needed to get her act together. She needed to wait till she was alone really alone with the door or her quarters locked. Then she could break down and miss him, every single part of him: his smell, his laugh, his smile, his kiss, his… No she'd think of that tonight, in her room not in the balcony where anyone could interrupt her th….  
"Pretty impressive, isn't it?" John startled her from behind and stopped her mid-thought. She was wondering how ironic it was that he'd enter while she was just thinking the exact thing. 'Really ironic. At least Jack would think so. He'd find it more than ironic and he'd probably crack a joke about it right now. Yes he would! Oh no, I'm not doing this! Not now I said! No more Jack until you're about to sleep. We're not doing this now!' she tried to convince herself silently and then returned to react on John's comment. John was looking at her expectantly, waiting for a response or a smile, a nod, anything.

"To be honest, it's a little overwhelming."  
"Coming from somebody with your record, that says somethin'."  
"You know, John, your name _was_ on the shortlist."  
"Yeah, I know. I saw what they did to E" he hesitated a bit then got himself together "to Elizabeth - the politics and the red tape. I didn't envy her. I don't envy _you_."  
"Thanks!"  
" You know, for most of us, this thing with Elizabeth isn't over yet. She's still out there. And I'll not rest until I've found her! "  
"You really believe there's a chance she's still alive?" she asked seeking comfort for her own self. If John thought that a woman infected by replicators and left behind on their home planet could be alive, then her highly ascended fiancé might as well return any second now and she'd be able to go back home not be running 3.5 million light years away from it.  
"There's only one way to know for sure."  
"You're suggesting we go back."  
" We should have done it sooner, but the I.O.A.'s been stonewalling me. Now that you're in charge, maybe you can give me the green light. I can't bear sitting there with my hands tied when she might be out there waiting for us to save her."  
"I hear you and I know what you mean but I'm sorry, but it's too dangerous."  
"It's no more dangerous than the _last_ time we went in."  
"Circumstances were different, plus you had an advantage then that you don't have now."  
"Well, she's the one who gave us that advantage, remember? The only reason we're here is because of what she did. You know I'm right, you've done it a million times yourself!"

She looked at him questioningly.

"You've risked your life for General O'Neill and all other members of your team for that matter without caring for the risks and without any trace that they were alive."

She looked hurt by his words. He hadn't meant to bring that up, to bring him up. But it was done. He didn't know how to react.

"I'm sorry, Sam! I really am! For your loss and for bringing it up! I was just trying to make my point."

She understood. She wasn't mad at him. She'd do the same if it were Jack she wanted to save and he was the one who'd just lost Elizabeth. She knew how he felt about Elizabeth. It was obvious just like it was obvious how she felt about Jack. But unlike them, John and Elizabeth didn't even get their chance. Granted neither did she and Jack for that matter, but at least they got to admit their feelings and to have a whole year together, as lovers not as colleagues! So she understood John's feelings. Still she was hurt. Just hearing Jack's name made her heart stop. The thought to him brought back all the happy memories that were now painful memories. It made her heart break all over again!  
"It's ok John. I understand. Believe me, I know how you're feeling and I understand what you mean. And I don't like the idea of leaving someone behind any more than you do. When we used to go on crazy rescue missions there was someone sane in charge who made sure we weren't completely out of our minds, and who stopped us if we were. Now I'm that person. I have to be that person. As much as I would like to order you to go right now and even come with you without even asking about your plan, I can't. Because without even knowing it you are depending on me to stop you from killing yourself, that's what we expect when we join the Air force: people who watch our back and superiors who stay objective when our judgment is clouded by our feelings. So I am not about to send you or anyone else on a suicide mission. Now, you come to me with a plan that has even an outside chance of succeeding and I'll consider it. Short of that, John, I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do.  
"Fair enough." He replied reluctantly not able to be really mad at her. He knew deep down that she was right. They needed a plan if they wanted to be any help for Elizabeth and being dead would be no help for her alone. The Colonel was right. And with that he left.

He left her one again standing alone in the balcony. She was still thinking about what John had said: how many times they'd risked their lives for each other without asking for anything in return. And the one time where she really loses him he dies from natural causes. With all the life threatening situations they've been in he didn't die from one of them. No really how ironic was _that_. He wasn't shot, didn't fall or drown, wasn't captured or tortured, he just died. It was so tragic, that it was almost funny. She truly found the irony of the situation funny, painful yet funny. Seems like, he's changed her more than she realized. Only Jack would find death- his death in particular- funny. Only he would… 'Oh, no you won't, not again!' She stopped herself. The only way to stop this was to get inside. The only way was to distract herself. She needed to be around people. She needed people around her every second of every waking moment. She couldn't allow herself to fall into the vortex of self pity and bittersweet memories again. She'd tried going down that road before and it hadn't ended well. She needed to be distracted. Denial was the best course of action!


	18. The Down Low

Chapter 18

Another one of them days!

Another one of them long and miserable days!

She'd been in Atlantis almost a year and these days have been recurring a lot, lately; some of them were better than the others and some were way worse.

The normal days: the happy and gleeful days were already history. They were a far memory that lay dormant in the back of her head.

Happiness! Happiness was one of those things she'd also forgotten.

Only now did she understand what her father and the hallucination of her father were telling her. Only now did she understand that there's a difference between contentment and settling for what one had (which she was doing these days) and between true happiness and delight (which she only knew existed after she met Jack and came together with him). Her father knew that. He knew that she'd been settling all her life. She was always truly happy or rather contented with her life, for real! But she didn't really experience happiness and she never even knew what she was missing.

Now she knew. Now she knew she hadn't been happy before Jack and she hasn't been happy since the day he'd gone.

She was content: the people on the base had grown on her and they were almost like family, she loved the city and the scenery and she was happy to get a promotion like that. the whole year and the Command was like a dream come true. But she wasn't happy. And as much as she was trying to convince herself she now knew how different contentment felt from happiness and it was clear that happiness was something she is never to feel again.

Happiness is connected with one person and one person only. Happiness is connected with a legend, with her legend. And now that he's gone she can only be content and that only on the good days- the very good days!

On the other days- wretched days, like this one- she was miserable, simply miserable. On those bad days she can hardly get out of bed. On those bad days, she can't bring herself to put on the cheerful indifferent face she was able muster up on better days. On those bad days she wasn't able to convince herself that everything was alright.

And today was the worse of them all. Today was the day; the day when she went to his house. The day where all this had begun! Today was their anniversary. It was supposed to be their second anniversary, but now it's not only a meaningless ordinary day, it's the worse day in the history of all days.

Flashbacks were running through her head like a movie. Bittersweet memories! Boy, were they great together. They were the best, as he would say. They made Romeo and Juliet look like amateurs he used to say. Well now their story was starting to match Shakespeare's a lot more than it was supposed to. Now Romeo was gone! How ironic! Their life was filled with irony. If it was turned into a Hollywood movie the watchers would say that it's exaggerated as no human life could be so ironically complicated in real life. Well all these watchers are yet to meet her and her deceased fiancé. Now the rest of the story was up to her. It was only on her to decide how it turns out. She could help enhance the irony. She could make her fiancé's energy smirk at the irony one last time. She could kill herself, so that Juliet could meet Romeo. Only she could proof that their love was even greater than that of Romeo and Juliet. Only she could put an end to her misery.

It wasn't the first time that the thought had crossed her mind, but it was the first time she'd indulged it for that long. Out of the dozen times she thought of ending her life each day, this was the only time where she couldn't convince herself that that was a bad idea. Everyday she'd tell herself now's not the time to think about something so radical, everyday she'd tell herself I'll think about it tomorrow. Today was that tomorrow. Today was the day to think about it. Today was the day to do it.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a visitor on the door. She hesitated to answer the door for a minute. She wanted to be left alone and she didn't want anyone seeing her for the mess she was: her eyes were puffy and red and she looked like someone who's just been beat up by a hundred Jaffa.

But the visitor ringed the door again "Colonel Carter? It's me John!"

Still nothing from her side! Maybe he'll just go away.

"Colonel, do you hear me? Are you alright? You were late for the briefing."

Oh the briefing! She'd totally forgotten that. How could she? This wasn't like her. But then again how couldn't she? With these plots to end her life how could she focus about that stupid briefing? Well they should be able to deal without her for one day! It's not her problem that they wanna go explore the new planet they're on. 'Actually it is!' said a little voice in her head. Yes it is. I know it is! But I don't care. Today I don't care. For once in my life, I don't care. I mean I'm allowed to be selfish for one day in my life. And today, I don't wanna deal with anyone's problems. I don't have the energy to do so.

"McKay, is there a life sign present in Colonel Carter's quarters?" she heard Shepherd's voice talk into the radio.

"Are you sure, 'cause she's not answering?"

"Open the door of her quarters, right now. Let's hope she's OK." She could clearly sense the worry in his tone.

And before McKay could open the door from his end she headed towards the door and opened it herself.

"Colonel!" John shouted in surprise. "You had us worried there. Are you ok?"

"Yes John." She managed weakly. Only when she tried to open her mouth did she realize how beat and depressed she really was.

"Oh my god! You look terrible, uhm , ma'am. Are you sure you're ok?"

She couldn't help but smile internally at the way John acted. Somehow, he reminded her of her fiancé. That same childishness and sense of humor and innocence.

"It's ok John. I'm just feeling a bit under the weather."

"Well excuse me Sam, but I'd say it's a little bit more than that. You are never late for a briefing."

"John… It's ok. I'm ok, I'm just a bit beat and I guess I just forgot about it."

"And _you_ never forget!"

"Well, I did."

"Sam. Please, I just wanna help. I know what you're going through."

"I know John and I really appreciate it, but it's nothing. I'm ok. I just need some rest and I'll be back on my feet in no time."

"You sure?"

"Am sure. Just please if you don't mind, I'd like you to take over Command for today, while I just…"

"Sure thing! Don't worry about a thing, tomorrow you'll find the base waiting for you just like you left it. You just relax and let me know if you need anything."

"I will. Thanks John." She tried to manage a smile but it was harder than she remembered.

* * *

As John left Sam's quarters his heart was breaking, for her and for himself. He knew how she felt inside all too well. He was feeling exactly the same. And he couldn't do anything to help himself so naturally he had no idea how to try and help her. He could stand feeling like that but he couldn't stand to see another person like that and to know that she was being shattered to a million pieces inside every second. It hurt him to see her going through that same pain and not being able to prevent it. Hopefully the worse part will be over soon; for both of them! Or so he hoped.


	19. Help

Chapter 19

Daniel had arrived to Atlantis almost instantly after the communication from John Shepherd. For the first time, he wasn't excited about the secrets of the Lost City. This time he didn't care. He didn't even realize that he was in his beloved Atlantis. He was here because his best friend (one of his best friends, that is!) was in trouble and needed him. John had said something about her being chronically depressed and not having left her quarters for almost two days now.

"John, how are you? What's going on with Sam?" Daniel asked in his normal agitated manner.

"Fine, considering. She hasn't left the room since yesterday. Yesterday, she didn't show up for a briefing, claimed she'd forgotten. And when I went to check on her, she opened the door after almost 15 minutes and she looked like hell. She told me she just needed to rest and that I should take care of the base till today. And today she didn't show either and meant she was still feeling bad." John explained to a disturbed and worried Daniel.

"She looked even worse and refused to leave the room." continued John.

"And she hadn't eaten a thing since dinner the day before the depression. And when I brought her a tray she left it untouched, said she wasn't feeling so well." Rodney jumped in so worried that he was attacking the sandwich in his hands instead of eating it.

"That bad, huh?" Daniel asked not knowing how to respond. He didn't know how to comfort her, if he knew he'd have comforted himself for the loss of his older brother.

Those present of the Atlantis expedition all nodded in unison.

"Thought she might need the company of an old friend" John explained.

"That was a good idea. I've never seen her like that. She's never been like that! She's lost a lot of people, very close people and she's been depressed before but that's just too much. First the psychotic breakdown and then this depression, I just hope she doesn't lose it enough to do something to herself." Daniel explained with sheer worry.

"Me, too." Rodney said.

"I hear ya!" agreed John.

"Take me to her quarters!" Daniel said, then he added to himself "God be with us!"

* * *

Daniel had been standing in front of Sam's room for 10 minutes now and there was no response from inside what so ever. He radioed Rodney to open the door. Please god, let this be good, he silently prayed as the door started to open.

There before him lay Sam on the ground seizing. Beside her lay an empty bottle of pills and some pills scattered around her on the ground.

He ran towards her and instantly fell to the ground to try and stop her seizing her body cool and sweaty. He shouted through the radio for help.

"I need a med team in Sam's quarters, NOW. Help! I need a doctor. She's seizing, ah she's seizing and I can't stop it."

He was trying to keep himself restrained until help came. He couldn't afford to panic now. He couldn't break down. He couldn't think that he might be losing another best friend. He couldn't do that just yet.

Jennifer Keller and some other nurses arrived almost instantly followed by John, Rodney, Teyla and Ronon.

Daniel was pushed aside by the med team so they can do their job. He took the empty bottle in his hands as he watched while they tried to save the life of his dying friend. He had tears in his eyes as did all the other watchers.

He raised the bottle in John's direction to tell him that she'd done this to herself.

John nodded with pain in his eyes. He should have seen this coming. He could have helped her.

Oddly enough Daniel was thinking the same to himself. And he was always worried about the possibility. Sam had always told him how they compared themselves with Romeo and Juliet and how her Romeo was now gone. He should have known. She should have done something to prevent it.

Everyone there was silently thinking how he'd let Sam down and what he could have done to save her, while they watched Jennifer struggle to save her.

The seizure had stopped and they were now transporting her to the infirmary so that she could be treated properly.

* * *

Some time later an exhausted Dr Keller came out of the OR to update the worried team.

"All the drugs are out of her system but she's already slipped into the coma. I don't know what more I can do for her."

"But she could wake up, can't she?" Daniel asked barely keeping it together.

"She could, but to be honest after such long time I'm afraid the damage to the brain could be permanent." Jennifer was equally struggling to keep up a tough front for the expectant listeners. "I think we should be prepared for the worst."

"There's gotta be something we can do." John said in his childish disappointed tone. "I'm not gonna let another Commander fall down!" he was determined to find a way to save her.

"Um, Colonel? There's something else." Jennifer looked at him seriously and clearly worried.

"I'm not gonna like it am I?" he asked angrily.

She shook her head. "John, Colonel Carter's scans show that she's pregnant."

"What?" Daniel voice resounded in the same second when Rodney's and John's did.

"She's somehow got a baby growing inside her. And the thing is, she's 2 months along and she hadn't had any contact for over a year, I've checked."

Again a choir of "What" this time from all the people present.

"I can't explain it but somehow the baby started magically growing inside her 2 months ago."

"Well the baby doesn't change the fact that she's dying and that we gotta save her, does it?" John asked still disturbed with the news they'd just received. "And as for the baby we'll jump off that bridge when we come to it."

"You said you'd found another medical lab in the east side of the city, didn't you?" Daniel asked Rodney with sudden determination and excitement he only had when he was onto something.

"Yes, I hear you. You think that Ancient hand device we found could help her." Rodney's head was lighting up.

John was already running out the door. "It should work like the Goua'uld healing device. I mean they're scavengers right? They probably stole the technology from the Ancients. I should be able to use it on her and manipulate it so that I don't harm the baby, no problem, right?" He looked at Rodney for confirmation as the three of them were sprinting towards the med lab.

"You should. You control the device with your mind so you can make sure the embryo stays unharmed. It should work perfectly. I think we don't need to kiss her goodbye just yet."

Daniel and John gave him a look for his usual inappropriateness.

"No, I don't mean kiss her kiss her I mean…."

"We know what you mean, Rodney. Just shut up, will ya!" John handled him his usual way and Daniel couldn't help but be amazed how John could handle this psycho so perfectly and also have him as his best friend.

* * *

The device in John's hands had stopped whizzing and he could barely stand up from being weakened by the device. Teyla and Ronon helped him to a chair, while Dr Keller tended to the now coughing Colonel Carter.

She was back! The device worked.

"Ouch…" she said in a Jack-matter. She slowly started opening her eyes and could hazily see her surroundings.

"Oh thank god, Sam. Don't you ever do this again! Ever!" Daniel said while rushing by her side and sitting on the side of the bed.

"Ddddaniel?" she asked weakly not knowing if she's hearing and seeing correctly.

"Yes, Sam, am here! What the hell were you thinking?"

"I guess I wasn't" she said trying to smile apologetically. But she knew she wasn't gonna get off the hook that easily. Now they'd never trust her again. She'd screwed up big time. She wouldn't be able to try again soon. She…..

Her thoughts were interrupted by John's voice. "You gave us a scare there, Colonel."

She smiled in return.

"Sam, this is serious. What the hell is wrong with you? You can't do this. There are people here who need you and care about you. And there's a baby that needs you. You wanna kill your baby, too?" Daniel was so furious he didn't notice what he was saying.

Sam's eyes opened wide in shock. "Mmmy bbbaby?"

"Colonel, you're pregnant. You're 2 months along." Dr Keller tried to calmly explain.

"What? That can't be! I can't be pregnant! How can I be pregnant?" Sam was starting to resemble her hysteric psychotic self from less than one year earlier again.

"Sam, it's ok we'll figure something out. Dr Keller is doing her best to find an explanation." Daniel tried to calm her down.

"Why don't we give you some time to rest and come back later." John said nudging the others to leave with him.

Everyone left and Daniel remained with Sam alongside with Dr Keller.

Sam was starting to shiver and Daniel was holding her tight to try and comfort her and in the effort of keeping her from falling apart.

"Actually, I think I have a theory ma'am, but I'm gonna need to run more tests to confirm it." The doctor explained and waited for the two of them to turn their attention to her.

"The baby was in hibernation since the last time you and your fiancé were together and somehow it started growing only two months ago. I would say the Ancient gene that General O'Neill carried alongside with the Goua'uld residues both of you carry inside you must have somehow affected the physiology of the baby and caused it to grow differently."

"I'm carrying an alien baby?" Sam asked not knowing what to think of all this. She was too shocked to even react or breakdown anymore.

"No no I don't think so, I think you're future child might just be extremely evolved. I mean we already know that the General's physiology was the most evolved in all the human beings to date. His child and yours is gonna have to be a further step in the evolution of human beings."

"I.. I don't know what to say… What do you mean?" Sam was now confused

"Don't worry Sam we'll figure something out."

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Why don't you let me run some more tests first before we talk about this further. And about the, ahem, incident of before I'm gonna have to place you under watch for some time and have you attend therapy until we figure something out. That's professionally and personally I'm there for you anytime you need a friend." And with that the doctor left the two friends to their talk.

* * *

After Daniel had played along with Sam's attempt to change the subject and avoid talking about her pregnancy or about her attempted suicide he had to address the elephant in the room.

"So, Sam, what was that about?" he asked seriously

"What was what about?" she tried to pull the innocence act.

"Oh come on Sam!"

"I don't know Daniel. I just couldn't do this anymore. I couldn't keep on pretending that life was ok and that it was going on. For me life has ended. I'm just physically stuck on the land of the living with you but my soul is already on the other side."

"Oh Sam. Why didn't you talk to any of us about it? We're all there for you. you know what you're feeling is natural. I've felt the same after Sha're. I still feel that pain inside when I remember her but it gets better life goes on. And sometimes you even love again. Look at me and Vala."

"I know you're trying to help. But I just think that life as I know it has ceased to exist. I'm now in that something that's moving and I'm moving with it whether I like it or not."

"Sam, you're worrying me even more. I know you're depressed, but…"

"Daniel! I know that what I did was wrong and foolish and I regret it. I won't try to do it again you can rest assured, especially with that baby inside me. I mean what ever it turns out to be, it's the one thing I have left from Jack and I'm going to hold on to it for the life of me, even if it's a little baby Goua'uld. But that doesn't mean that I'm gonna move on or that for a second I can forget. But now I know am gonna have to get myself together and try to survive this."

"Do you really mean what you're saying?"

"I do. I honestly don't intend to try and kill myself again. God obviously didn't want me dead or else he wouldn't have let you save me."

"Good, because Jack can walk in here any second and I'm not gonna be the one explaining to him that his wife-to-be ended her life for having lost him."

"That's what had stopped me from doing it all this time you know. If there was the slightest possibility that he'd be back I didn't want him to have to suffer or possibly blame himself. Also if there's the slightest chance he'll be back if only for a second I don't wanna miss it."

"Then why did you do it."

"I was depressed. It was supposed to be our second anniversary and I don't know I just wanted the constant pain inside to end."

"It will end Sam believe me and it will become milder in time. And with any luck you're looking forward to having a constant little companion that will remind you of its father, whatever it is."

"I hope you're right. I'm sorry for being such a pain in the ass, _again_!"

"Anytime you want." He hugged his friend tightly. "I'm glad you're ok Sam. I wouldn't have been able to take this alongside with everything else."

"I know. I'm sorry. I really am."

"It's ok I'll let you get some rest. I'm always there for you, Sam!" and with that he left. He left her lost in her own thoughts.

She was deeply sorry and ashamed of herself. What the hell was wrong with her for real? Over the past year, she'd made a fool of herself on various occasions and she's been a mess. Granted she was going through something terrible but this wasn't an excuse for acting the way she wanted anytime she wanted it. She was a military officer and had people under her command. This behavior was gonna have to end. And if she were to be a mother, she'd have to be strong for the baby she's expecting. Oh, the baby. What was gonna happen with that baby? What would it be? Would it be evil like Vala's Orici child Adria or all-knowing and in permanent danger like Share's Harsesis child? And what would Jack have thought about having a child. I mean they'd never talked about the kid's issue. She didn't know how he felt about it. Would he be thrilled to get another chance after Charlie or would he be angry and reject to go though the same thing again knowing how it might end. She knew he loved kids more than anyone she knew, but maybe it just hurt too much for him to be able to have another child. Maybe his pain for loosing Charlie was just like hers for losing him. What was she thinking? Jack wasn't here and he wouldn't see this child grow up or help her raise him and deal with his problems. She was in this alone and Jack wasn't here to tell her if he was happy for her bearing his child or disappointed.

Suddenly a wave of tiredness and at the same time relief came over her. She felt that everything would somehow turn out to be just fine. She sensed Jack. She once again could feel his energy surrounding her.

"Thank you, Jack!" she whispered in the air with her eyes closed as if she smelled him in the emptiness of the room.

And with that she was overtaken by sleep, with one hand on her stomach and a slight smile on her face.


	20. Friends

I know the reaction of John here is different than his to the news of Teyla's pregnancy but I think that's justified as Teyla's situation was different. I mean we can see that his personality is someone's that appreciates children and respects women who have kids and work but with Teyla he was just hurt she hadn't told him earlier and was probably a bit jealous. Also he acted that way with Teyla as she was on the front line team. With Sam is different as she already rarely gets off world. So hope you don't hold it against me. And please please review if you get the chance. And thanks for all those who already did =D.

Chapter 20

"Don't worry about a thing Colonel. The IOA doesn't need to know anything about the incident. As far as they're concerned, you were sick the past week and I was in charge of the base." Colonel Shepherd was explaining to his commanding officer and friend from where they were standing in the balcony.

"I don't know John. I can't ask you to do that. I mean, I deserve every disciplinary action I would get. No base commander can do what I've done; hell no military officer can do that."

"Well, ma'am you're not any other normal officer or commander. You've been through a lot and you lost your sense of judgment, and from what Jennifer tells me you've regained it."

"No John really, I can't ask you to treat me any differently."

"You didn't and I'm doing it anyway. Seriously Sam, we all decided that it's the best course of action. You are a great commander and friend to us and we can't go through losing another one of those right now. You see, it's a selfish act from our side." He joked and she chuckled in return. He really did remind her of Jack, a lot. A sad smile formed on her face at the memory of the love of her life.

"Everyone deserves a second chance, especially those with a perfect history. You don't need to feel guilty. Nothing happened it was just an error in judgment."

"Thanks John. I really appreciate it and I won't let you regret it. I've let many people down already."

"Nonsense! We all love you no matter what. That's what friends do they support without judging."

"Well then thank you, friend!"

"Anytime!" he said with a smile and jokingly bumped shoulders with her.

"So, Keller tells me you're in for a super baby!"

"Yeah, so it seems. Apparently having your DNA tampered with a million times has to pay off some day!"

"Yep."

"I just hope the baby, no matter what it is, does love us for who we are and doesn't decide to join the other side."

"Of course it will, Sam. I mean you wanna convince me that the kid of this universe's two best defenders is gonna join the dark side? Never!"

"I sure hope so."

"This kid will be perfect no matter what. And you will raise it to be even better than both his parents collectively." He said with a smile.

"I'll sure do my best. Though it's gonna be hard to be a single mother and the commander of one of the most dangerous bases around."

"On the contrary, here you'll have a at least 500 other hands to help you with the baby. You'll be the only single mother who's that well off in the history of single mothers."

"I'm sure of that, John."

"So, do we know yet why the baby was in hibernation so long?"

"Not really. Apparently it started growing after I got the ATA gene treatment. Maybe it still needed something from Jack but couldn't find it; after I got the ancient gene it may have found it in me."

"Sounds plausible. And you know if it will start growing normally from now on?"

"Probably not; I mean in the past week the baby has grown one month."

"Whoa. You mean 6 more weeks and we'll have baby on board?"

"Probably, if not earlier!"

"Well then I better get started on planning that shower!"

"Oh you better do that."

And he turned to head back to the control room

"John!" she stopped him midway.

"Yes?"

"I just wanted to say…"

"I know…"

"Still, I really to need to say it: Thank you!"

"Anytime that's what friends are for."


	21. Unborn Babies Know Best

Chapter 21

She woke up startled in the middle of the night. She was out of breath and tears were running down her face. She'd had that terrible dream again: she was losing Jack and there was nothing she could do to save him. But this time at the end of the dream they were showing her her newborn baby: a Gou'auld.

She tried to relax herself and took a sip of water to calm her racing heart.

Oh god please let this baby not be harmed from my and his father's recklessness. Had we known that this would happen and that we were meant to be like this we'd certainly done a lot of things differently, she thought to herself. Not that she regretted a single second of the past 12 years but she wished she could've been prepared for this. She always had her doubts that she'd ever be able to be a good mother and take care of a child. And now she's millions of light years away from home in charge of the most important city discovered- ever- on a far away galaxy with an extremely evolved baby in her stomach that will mature in only a few weeks, and with the father of her child- her fiancé- highly evolved to the highest plane of existence. She was allowed to have her doubt, didn't she?

She really wished this baby would be normal, not the normal normal of course given his history and theirs but their normal: the special, strange and different normal that made you care for people not enslave them and that made you modest no matter what you did and that made you loving, kind and considerate. She wished she hadn't done anything to ruin this baby's life, because she would never forget herself if she did, neither would Jack for that matter. She had high hopes for this baby. This baby is gonna get her through and help her deal with the loss of her love. This baby will fill the void. It's a part of Jack: Jack's final gift for her. She knew he sent her this baby and she was gonna do everything possible to protect this baby and do him good. She really loved this baby without even getting to know it. She loved her savior and she will forever be indebted to her child for saving her and making her wanna live on, for giving her a reason to live. Deep down she knew that even if the baby was a gou'uld or a Ruby or whatever they called them, she'd love it no matter what. And she'd risk her life for it no matter what, even if it tried to kill her. She really felt for Vala. No one ever really knew how she must have been feeling about Adria, no one gave her enough attention. She must've been all torn inside, must still be actually.

She felt her baby kick inside her a tender kick, calming and relaxing. It was as if it was patting her to calm her down and assure her that everything was gonna be fine. She was sure what the baby was trying to tell her, she understood its every kick and thought and the weird part it she totally believed it.

"I know baby! We're gonna be alright on our own, more than alright actually, we're gonna be great!" she said out loud with a smile to her baby.

It kicked again.

"You're right, maybe daddy will come back someday and we wont have to go through this all alone."

And again with the kicking

She chuckled "Ok, ok, daddy will most certainly come back to us. Is that better? I'm beginning to feel you like kicking me, where's your respect child!" she joked around with her belly.

Was she really that far gone, talking to an embryo in her stomach and interpreting its kicks as mature talking? Actually she didn't really care what the answer to that question was. Even if this meant she was now totally crazy, she was happy and she was positive the creature growing inside her was special and was talking to her. And she couldn't wait to see this child in person and hold it in her arms. She was gonna love it more than any mother ever loved her child. She was gonna love it just as much as she loved its father, as much as she is still loving its father.

Her thoughts and internal conversation was interrupted by a loud cracking sound. She was taken aback and forced to her feet by the gravity of the sound.

She immediately spoke through the radio: "Colonel Carter to the gate room: what was that sound?"

"What sound, ma'am?"

"That loud sound that almost took the place down, just a second ago. You mean you didn't hear it?"

"Negative, ma'am. Everything is completely normal down here ma'am."

"That's weird. Alright, I need you to check if there was a power surge or any kind of abnormal activity near my quarters."

"I'm on it ma'am."

"Thank you, Major."

"There was nothing ma'am. Maybe it was just something that fell or so."

"Maybe." She said not totally convinced "Still I need you to keep an eye out, just in case."

"Sure thing, ma'am."

As soon as the radio communication, a bright blinding light illuminated Sam's room. At first, she couldn't see from the strength of the light.

"Ummm, ma'am, I'm picking up some strange energy reading from your quarters. They're causing the system to go haywire ma'am. You need me to come check it out?"

By now Sam had regained sight and her eyes were opened wider that she ever knew they could, by what she saw. Her jaw was dropped and she was trembling.

"No Major, it's ok; I've got it under control."

"You sure, ma'am? I could…."

"Don't worry about it Major! Carter out." And with that she turned off her radio and let it fall to the ground.

She was numb and she couldn't move a muscle of her body. She just stood there looking at the figure emerging from the light. She had gone crazy again that's what this was.

"No mom you're not!" were the words that her baby's kick conveyed this time.

"Well apparently you're still just a child, cause am certain that now I'm crazy."

"Hey there sunshine!" the words came from the figure within the light.

She took a step back before she fell to the ground.

The figure rushed towards her and reached out for her

"It's ok Sam, it's all gonna be alright, I'm back now! I'm fully back with all my heart and quarks."

And with that everything went black


	22. Back

Chapter 22

"Sam? Sam? Wake up, Sam!" a voice was yelling to get the now unconscious Sam to wake up.

"Huh?" she slowly regained consciousness and instantly started pulling away from the figure in front of her.

"Calm down, Sam. It's gonna be ok. It's me Jack! I'm back! Miss me?" he said with his proud warm smile trying to act as if this was the most natural thing on earth and that he'd been on a short trip to Minnesota and had just gotten back.

"Jack? Jack! Is that really you? I swear if this is some joke my mind is playing on me I'm not gonna be able to take it again."

"It's me Sam, in flesh and bone! Come on, touch me!" he said poking with own body with his finger.

"Touch me!" he urged her now a bit quieter and looking her in the eyes.

When he sensed her hesitance while she was looking at her hands and slowly reaching them out for him, he moved his face closer to hers so that she could feel his breath on her face and then spoke much gentler almost in a whisper

"Touch me."

She closed her eyes to indulge the closeness she was feeling with her fiancé. Even if she was crazy she could at least enjoy this for a second. She really couldn't resist. So she reached her trembling hands towards his face and slowly touched his cheek with the back of her fingers. She was almost out of breath at the touch of his skin. His soft skin was so gentle underneath her fingers. How much she'd missed that touch.

"See? Told ya, I don't bite!" Jack joked then he continued more sentimentally in his ultimately romantic manner "Now, kiss me!"

"Are you really real? Jack, please I can't do this."

"See for yourself. Kiss me!"

She knew better than to believe the hallucination. She knew that he wasn't real and she'd only touched him to satisfy some need within her to feel his skin against hers again. And even though she knew that, she found her body leaning forward towards his and her lips surrender as his captured hers and held them in love. She didn't pull away or resist. She just kissed back and indulged the love she'd been missing for so long. For one moment she would be happy and allow herself to feel the innocence of their touch. For at least one moment she wanted to feel that magic again. Then would she tend to the fact that she'd lost her mind. After enjoying this moment, probably the last happy moment of her life, would she deal with her illness.

After the moment was really and regretfully over and they had both broken apart for air she bent down and reached for the radio she had let fall some time earlier.

"How did that feel?" asked an equally flushed Jack.

"Great. Greater than anything I've felt for the longest time."

"Gee, thanks, so you really did miss me as much as I missed you?"

"More than you imagine, Jack. I've missed you so much that here I am talking to a figment of my imagination, again, I might add."

"Sam! What's wrong with you? I told you I was real. I'm back. I redescended or whatever they call it. I'm real!"

"All hallucinations say so, that's what my therapist told me."

"Your therapist? Hallucinations? What the hell are you talking about? Sam, you're starting to worry me. Are you ok?"

"That's what I'm telling you. I'm not ok. I'm crazy." And then she spoke into the radio "Colonel Shepherd? Please come to my quarters immediately, this is Colonel Carter. You hear me John?"

"Yes, I'll be right there."

"Ok."

"Wha.. " he was about to ask her again what all this was about and why the hell she'd asked John Shepherd to come here, but before he could continue he noticed her stomach, her growing stomach

"What the hell is wrong with your stomach? Are you? Are you pregnant?"

She was doing the best she can to resist him. She had to resist him. He was a hallucination. And while she couldn't resist him at first, she knew that she had to hold herself back. She had to ignore him and not look at him. She wouldn't answer him. Talking to the hallucination would only make it worse. Although she wanted nothing more than to look him in the eye and tell him how much she loved and missed him. She wanted to throw herself in his arms and cry all the tears she had inside her. She wanted to wrap her arms around his neck and dance with him like they'd done so many times before. She wanted him to try and make her laugh and to smile his breathtaking smile at her but she couldn't and she wouldn't. That's why she had to keep from looking at him and to keep her eyes from meeting his. If she'd had any chance in ignoring Jack's hallucination she had to keep her eyes off him.

"Answer me, Sam! Are you pregnant?"

She was still standing with her back to him moving further away from him. He turned around her so he could face her. He was growing more angry and he was hurt.

"Sam!" he was practically shouting now and he held her by the shoulders

"Don't ignore my question Sam. Look me in the eye and answer me are you pregnant?"

She was doing her best not to break down in sobs and to throw herself inside his hug but as strong as she was she couldn't stop the tears from forming inside her eyes and then leaving it to her cheeks.

Just as she was losing it, did John enter the room.

"General O'Neill? Oh my god General you're back, you're alive!"

Sam looked with pain in her eyes at John "You mean you see him? You see Jack standing there in front of me, John?"

"So, you're the one who got her pregnant,huh? Huh? Answer me! Someone Answer me!"

"Wha? What are you talking about, sir? Of course I didn't! Colonel what's going on? How did you come back sir?" John was clearly confused.

"You see him John?"

"Yes I do."

"Oh my god Jack, it's really you. It's you you're back!" she said as she let her guard down and threw herself in his strong loving arms.

"Haven't I been saying so for the past hour or so?"

"Oh god Jack, I've missed you so much. I love you more than I've ever told you."

She was crying hysterically in his arms.

"Calm down, baby it's ok. I told you I'm here. I'm back." He was moving his fingers across her hair and held her tight to try and make her feel better. He'd missed her touch so much. Granted when you are energy you cant really feel or touch anything, but now that he's back in his own material body he remembered what he'd been missing for the past year. He knew he had missed the love of his life. And he realized that life had gotten on without him and that he'd missed so much. He wished that it wasn't too late. That she hadn't really moved on. Every second up there he was hoping that she'd move on with her life and not feel pain for his loss. He really wanted her to be happy and to not wait for him. But now that he's back and had her in his arms he couldn't help but wish she hadn't moved on. He was jealous. He felt the need to protect his property. And from the looks of it despite the fact that John denied it, he seemed like one of the plausible suspects and threats. He tightened his grip around his fiancée to protect her from the eyes of John who just stood there. Jack reached for her hand and tangled his fingers with his. He felt something cold touch his fingers and as he subtly looked down he was relieved to find his engagement ring sitting on her finger just like he'd left it there 1 year ago. Maybe it wasn't too late after all. Maybe she still loved him. I mean she wouldn't be still wearing his ring if she didn't. Maybe she was just lonely and made a mistake. He could live with that. He didn't care about some mistake she did while she was lonely because he'd left her. As long as he knew she still loved him he didn't care. She had every right to have tried to move on, he convinced himself. He couldn't help but wish she hadn't though. It was selfish of him, he knew that and he hadn't the right. But didn't everyone always believe that he was special enough for his love to not be able to replace him. He wasn't mad or anything really, it would be enough for him to know she still felt the same way if only a bit less, but still he wished that her feelings hadn't changed for a second. Oh god how selfish was he! Some kind of pure legendary energy you have! He thought at himself. His thoughts were interrupted by Sam's answer.

"I know, I know. I just thought you were my hallucination recurring. I thought this time I was never coming back."

"What hallucination?" he pulled away to face her as he asked with worry and then he turned to face John and then Sam again "What is going on here?"

"It's a long story, sir!" John said in his usual worried deformed face expression

"Well, I've got time!" Jack was starting to lose his patience.

She hesitated a second before answering him. This was really going to be a long story.

"Jack I'm pregnant!"

"I knew it, I knew it!" he said angrily

"Well then sirs, I'll leave you to yourselves you've got a lot to discuss." John said while turning around to leave

"Oh no you're not!" Jack shouted. "You're not getting out of this that easy. Not before I tear you into pieces!"

"Jack? What the hell do you want him here for?"

"It's obvious it's his kid and I say we settle this now!"

"What?" John and Sam asked unanimously.

"It's John's isn't it? Isn't that what you're trying to tell me? I thought to had a thing for Elizabeth? Or is it all brilliant women with you?"

"Is that what you think? Oh my god Jack, you're so stupid. How could you think that?"

"Well isn't it the truth? Just tell me! I won't be mad at you. You were obviously lonely and hurt and he was there to comfort you. It's him I'm gonna kill for taking advantage of you."

"Oh Jack! Listen to yourself. You think I'd do that? You think I'd sleep with my second in Command just because you're gone. Is that how you really see me?" she walked away while sobbing intensely.

"Well with all due respect, sir, you've screwed this up, big time!"

"Why, you….." Jack said while raising his fist at him.

"It's yours, sir!" John shouted out hastily before Jack took a swing at him.

"What?"

"The kid. It's yours."

"You're lying. If it were mine it would already be sitting there laughing at how you are going to get your ass kicked."

"It is sir. But it is a highly evolved with ancienty DNA, that's why it didn't start growing until sometime later."

Jack's face turned to all different colors. He didn't know what he was feeling: relief, happiness, shock, guilt and many other things at the same time.

"You mean, it's mine?"

"Yes, sir. It sure is. Colonel Carter hasn't moved on for even a second. If you'd only known what she's gone through since you've been gone."

"What?"

"I think you'd better hear everything from her. It's not my place. But before your mind starts wandering anywhere, she really loves you and there's no man in the entire universe with which she could try to fill the void caused by you."

"You mean I've screwed up badly!"

"I'm afraid so."

"Any idea where I could find her?"

"Yes, I'll lead you there. Um , sir one more question."

"You really thought I'd slept with her?"

"Yeah!"

"High Ascension really messed with your mind. Sir!"

"High Ascension would mess with anyone's mind son."


	23. Reunion

Chapter 23

They reached the balcony on the highest level where, as John suspected, Sam stood.

"Well sir I'll leave you to it then." John said while retreating

"Wish me luck!"

"God be with you General."

And with that Jack approached Sam. She was oblivious to the fact that she had company until he put his hand on her back.

She was startled and a bit scared by the hand touching her until she realized it was her fiancé's.

"You don't wanna touch me you know. I've been touched by all the men on this base. I was glad you died you know. It made all men wanna take advantage of me and love me. I don't even know whose baby this is, there are many you know!"

"Come on Sam give me a break. I'm sorry I doubted you. But what would you have had me think. I mean it doesn't usually come to mind that your wife-to-be is pregnant with you to-be super baby. And by the way you had every right to move on."

"How could you say that? I love you. I could never have moved on. How could one move one with his life when his life was actually gone?"

"I'm sorry I left."

"Me too. But it wasn't your fault."

"Still, I'm really sorry you had to go through all this. It must've been hard."

"You have no idea!"

"And I'm sorry I doubted you!"

"It wasn't your fault either. I mean this was the natural thing to come to mind. As you said no one not even us could have thought of this. I mean it took me a long time to accept it and I knew I hadn't touched another guy!"

"I'm sorry baby. I really missed you. I'll never leave you again." Jack hugged her tightly and breathed in the scent of her hair

"Oh Jack please don't. I couldn't possible go through this again. I really need you. _We_ need you!" she said while holding her stomach.

"I've never stopped loving you, not even for a second up there. I was always around you."

"I felt you. In every step I felt you. And I never stopped loving you either."

"So we're having a baby?"

"Yes!" then she looked at him with concern "How do you feel about that? Cause I mean I'd understand if this isn't what you wanted, if you wanna back out or…."

"Shhhh. Sh. Don't speak any further. You really think I'dleave you because you're carrying my child. You think I'd leave you for giving me everything I've ever wanted? Do you know how often I asked god for a second chance? And when I got together with you my only hope was to someday have a child with you. I just never knew how you felt about it."

"I've wanted to carry your child from the day I first met you. I just wasn't sure if you'd wanna go through this again. Oh Jack, I'm so relieved." She hugged him fiercely

"So as I said, we're having a baby" he said proudly

"Not any baby: we are gonna have the most evolved human being in the universe. This baby is even one step further in our evolution than you are Jack. He has your Ancient gene and both our Gou'auld markers and now that I've got the Ancient gene too it's growing even faster and stronger."

"Am I ever gonna understand what our baby really is and why it started growing later?"

"Well I got you to understand parallel universes I think I can handle our baby"

"If you say so. Anyways by the looks of your stomach I still got a few months to learn."

"Actually about that. Um, you've got a little less than 6 weeks till this baby comes."

"What? We don't even have a name yet"

"Oh Jack. I love it when you take things so easily and turn anything to a happy funny sentiment. I've really missed you."

"Me too, Sam."

"And about them names…"

"Yeah?"

"I had planned to call him Jonathan if it were a boy, after you I mean and Stella if it were a girl."

"Well then Stella and Jonathan it is! With any luck we'll get twins."

"You want us both to retire then?" she asked with a chuckle and they both joined in a hearty laugh.

After the laughing had stopped they found themselves staring into each other's eyes. They were both afraid to even take a breath so they don't break the moment. They both drowned in the eyes they had been missing for so long.

"I love you, you know that right?" Jack said without taking his eyes off her

"I do. And I love you too."

And then they were lost in a deep passionate kiss. A kiss they had been both longing for for so long; a kiss where she knew for sure that he was real and not just her mind trying to get her through.

Life was perfect again. It was complete. She wanted nothing more on earth. She had her legend standing there in front of her in flesh and blood and she carried within her hers and the legend's baby.

After that they headed towards Sam's quarters and asked not to be disturbed: they were in for some very long overdue couple's time and they were gonna enjoy every second of it!


	24. Forgive And Forget

Chapter 24

"Oh come on Sam! Tell me what happened. I mean it can't be that bad!" Jack was trying to get his fiancée to tell him about all the crazy things that had happened for an hour now. They were lying on bed in her quarters exhausted and flushed from the happiness of finally coming together

"Well it's even worse than that bad believe me!"  
"Sam I love you no matter what!"  
"I know baby I do too it's just; it's too hard to remember all this again or to try and tell the story so that it sounds least scary"  
"Well you're starting to scare me! It's not like you tried to cut your wrist or anything?" he said with a smile but as soon as he saw the expression on her face his smile faded

"Did you? I mean did you try to hurt yourself?"  
She couldn't look him in the eye; her face was turned to the ground as she nodded in shame.

"Oh baby, I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry I left you I'm sorry I wasn't there." he said rushing towards her and taking her in his arms. There, she let out some painfully unshed tears. She was sobbing and he was trying to hug her tightly to assure her that it was all over and that he was there.  
"It's ok baby it's ok it's over now. Shhhh, shhhh. I'm here. It's ok."  
"I just, I couldn't be in this world any more. It was as if I was stuck here with my body but my soul was already far gone." she explained half audibly while still having her head buried in his chest, but he heard.  
"I'm sorry baby. I know it must've been really hard. It's really over now. I'm not going anywhere. My energy has already done its part."  
"But I swear I didn't know about the baby then. I swear! You know I  
wouldn't have done it if..."  
"Shhhhh, of course you wouldn't, I know that. No need to explain baby really. It's over now. Just promise me you won't do this again. You'll be there for me and for the baby right? Cause I'm not as strong as you are I wouldn't survive a day without u, I'm not that strong."

"Well I'm not as strong as you think it just took losing you to realize how weak, vulnerable and fragile I really am."  
"Nonsense, you're the strongest woman I've ever seen."  
"Well apparently you didn't see enough women, cause if I really am than our gender is in serious trouble" she said with a half smile  
"You don't realize just of how much value you are; to your gender and all the other genders for that matter" he said with a bright grin  
"Now about that promise?" he looked at her expectantly  
"Huh?" she didn't realize what he was talking about  
"The promise that you know, you wouldn't go and do something stupid, again!" he said casually as if they were talking about ordering pizza not committing suicide.

He did it again, she thought to herself: making an awkward topic feel like a picnic. Oh, how much she loved him; how much she'd missed these eyes, this grin and these strong arms.

"Oh that!" she tried to hide her awkwardness by looking at the ground, again

"I promise you! As long as you and this baby don't leave me!" she said blushing without taking her eyes off the ground

"We're not going anywhere!" he reassured  
"Then neither am I" she couldn't get herself to look him in the eyes  
"Hey look at me!" he said tenderly while putting his hands around her shoulder but she couldn't get herself to look at him. Despite what he said and him trying to convince her that it was ok, she was so ashamed of herself. She couldn't bring herself for what she'd done. How could she have done that?  
"Baby? Look at me!" he said putting his hand under her chin and lifting it so her face was facing his and then he locked his eyes with hers and with that she couldn't look away  
"Jack, I..."  
"Shhhhh." he put a finger to explain "There's nothing more to say about that. It's long forgotten."  
"I'm so sorry. I..." tears were running down her eyes  
"Sam I mean it. You have nothing to apologize for it was my fault; I'm the one who had to die. Please Sam don't apologize! I love you and I wouldn't have forgotten my highly ascended self if you' have died because of me. Let's just put this behind us and plan the rest of our lives together! And don't you ever feel guilty for this again. I know what you're thinking and it's wrong. Ok? Just remember I love you that's all! That's all that matters."  
"I love you more Jack, always have, always will." she said as she leaned over to kiss him gently but strongly and he of course returned the gesture.  
After she pulled away she said hesitantly "Um, Jack?"  
"Hmmm?" he asked dreamily from the sweet kiss  
"I need to tell you the rest of the story before we can completely put it behind us. I need to tell you so you can forgive and forget."  
"There's nothing to forgive Sam, I told you no wrong was done."  
"Still I need to get it over with, so we can just go on wih our life"  
"You can tell me anything! Just please don't tell me you slept with anyone!" he said jokingly but somehow he meant it and she knew that.  
She shot him a mocking angry look  
"Not that it wouldn't be ok if you did, it's just I'd be happier if you hadn't but you had every right to I mean..."  
"Jack! Shut up" she joked "i told you I could never do that, you really think I would have slept with someone not even a whole year after you're gone?"  
"No but you could have, he'll you should have!"  
"Well there's no or quite attractive as you but then again I'm on a new galaxy. Maybe I should start looking" they both knew that they were nagging each other it was a heartfelt light conversation  
"No, no please don't! I'll be have I promise" he acted as if someone was threatening to shoot him and he surrendered  
"Atta boy!" they both chuckled  
"So about the rest of the story?"  
"Um, I... I had a brief psychotic episode. Well two actually!"


	25. The Weasel

Chapter 25

"I still can't believe that son of a bitch took your place. I mean I've always known he had it in him but I didn't expect him to be so obvious" Jack shouted from where he stood packing Sam's bags.

"It's ok Jack. I was gonna ask for reassignment anyway remember?"

"Still, he ambushed you. I can't believe they let him do that. If I were there, they'd have never even been able to suggest it!"

"Jack am sure General Landry did all he could but you know the IOA they always get their way sooner or later! Even of you'd convinced them otherwise they'd have later come up with something even worse. And let's face it, as much as I hate Woolsey he's the best of the IOA."

"Aghh! I know but still!"

"Jack we had already discussed this. I mean I only came here coz you were gone and I couldn't get far enough to try to move on with my life. Now that you're back I wanna go back to earth! I wanna plan a big white wedding and raise our kid in a normal environment; if there's something remotely normal about him or the life we're leading, that is!"

"I know honey but it's not the same as being told you gotta leave. I know how you feel about that Sam I know you're hurt receive you try to hide it. You just gotta know that they only did it to get back at the military, it has nothing to do with you!" he left the clothes in his hands, moved towards her and just held her in his arms. She needed him to hold her and show her that she mattered

"I know Jack rationally I do, but still I can't help but feel a little betrayed, like you said. I mean I thought I was good enough to receive my own command! I guess now it's really time to retire. This way I can take care of the baby and be home for my husband after an exhausting day in homeland!"

"First of all you are good enough to get your own command! You're better than anyone here is. Secondly, I thought we had already banned the word retire from our dictionary. Thirdly, you are going to work back in the SGC, it anywhere you want, so that you don't envy me for how much action I get each day, see how selfish I am?"

"I donno Jack!"

"Don't worry honey, the general already told you he had great

reassignments for you and that you're free to choose. The president said my place is waiting for me and he said I could take any other job if I wanted."

"I know Jack, but with the baby coming, I'd be more comfortable focusing on raising it and not on staying alive to come back to both of you at night!"

"Look let's just see what positions they'll offer you and go from there. We'll figure something out! We always do. It'll all work out great honey, don't worry."

he was giving her a relaxing massage to loosen her stressed out muscles and then after he'd finished and she looked more comforted and relaxed he shouted in an enthusiastic way "Now we have packing to do. And when we get home we have baby room planing and most importantly wedding planing"

"Thank god John was kind enough to throw us the shower here before we leave! Imagine we had to plan a shower too!" she felt ok. More than ok actually! She was great. She forgot about all what's bothering her and she was really lighthearted. She didn't throw this comment just to hide how she felt, she was really in the mood for light conversation and jokes with her husband-to-be. He'd relaxed her. Somehow she always believed him when he reassured her. Though she didn't know how things would work out , she knew they would, he told her they would. Many years ago, she couldn't have easily let go of her fears like she did today. She would've tried to believe him but her mind wouldn't let her as he gave her no proof so her mind had trouble accepting it. Now she's different. She's not that insecure, naive faithless woman she was before. She no longer refused things she couldn't understand or hold between her hands. Now she had faith. Not only in god but in life as a whole and he gave her that. She's changed because of him. She can now accept somethings even if they're not that rational. The past decade of her life was proof enough for her, that even if one doesn't know the proof, it doesn't mean it doesn't exist, it just means they hadn't found it yet. Just because one doesn't understand something, it doesn't mean it has no explanation. That's why she believed him and knew that he was right: things do always work out one way or another; she just didn't know how yet. Things will work out, just like they did when they were in Antarctica and he said they would get out. Just like it worked out when Hathor put a symbiote in him. Just like when his Tok'ra symbiote got him imprisoned him by Baal. Just like when he had the ancient repository downloaded into his brain (twice) and after she'd left him in stasis with no hope for him ever getting out. Just like when he was trapped on various planets with no way out. And finally just like he had died last year and somehow came back. This time

would be no different. A scientist conducts experiments, collects data and analyses it, then reaches a conclusion. The conclusion that Jack was right and that life will somehow always work out was true, as it was consistent with all the results of previous cases thus this has become a rule, a law of nature if you would. That's why she was now relaxed and forgot about all her troubles. That's why she could joke

and act like nothing was wrong. Because nothing was, not for long that is. And because she had everything that really mattered: she had a family, a perfect little family. Jack made her realize what the important things in life were. Sure it was important for her to have a successful career and make a difference but she now realizes that it's not enough. Jack and the baby are what makes her life complete, that's why she was joking now. That's why she believed. That's why she was feeling great.

She was brought back from her thoughts by Jack's comment.

"And thank god our baby timed it right! It'll be here as soon as we arrive on earth I guess." he halted to think about the idea of the baby for a second and hugged her tighter as she caressed her stomach and cradled her head in the space of his neck

"I can't believe we're getting married and having a baby!"

"Me neither! I'm really glad you're back Jack!" she said conscientiously while looking in his eyes

"Glad to be back! My energy is right were it belongs!"

"Indeed it is!"

"Oh hello there little Teal'c in practice" he joked, causing her to chuckle. Then he continued "I can't believe I really accused John of sleeping with you and to his face!"

"I still can't either! Well I guess we've both done our share of crazy things for love"

"May the crazy loving never stop!" he said as if raising a glass to make a toast

"And the happiness never end!" she joined the imaginary toast

"I love you, you know that?" he was lost inside her eyes

"I do. And I love you too, Jack!"

He knew now was the time to kiss her. Throughout the whole conversation he'd been giving her the support she needed. He knew it hadn't been the time to kiss her, she had just needed to know that he was there. But now shed forgotten about the whole Woolsey debacle and was focused on the more important things. Now she wanted to be kissed.

She wanted to be with the one she loved and wanted to know she's passionately loved; and he could give her that! He wanted to give her that! He'd been waiting for an hour now for her to be ready for the kiss he was so desperate to give her, and for the love that would probably follow.

So he leaned over and kissed her a quick passionate kiss.

"Mmm thank you" she said from the kiss

"I know" and with that packing and any other conversation not

involving love was ended for the night.

Life was perfect again and this time more than ever!


	26. Earth

Chapter 26

"Ah, finally! home sweet home!" Sam said as soon as the Airman accompanying them had set down their luggage and closed their happy home's door behind him.

"You can say that again!" Jack said with a wide grin while rapping his strong arms around her and turning her to face him so he could plant a kiss on her lips.

He felt her becoming silent and lot in thought. "What?" he asked compassionately

"Nothing!"she said looking away

"Come on Sam. What's on your mind? you thinking about the last time you were here?"

She looked up at him in surprise "How…. How did you…"

"What can i say, you are marrying a psychic!" he joked in his well known manner

"Yes you are, you are a psychic only when it comes to reading m mind!"

"That's all i need!" and then he said more seriously while looking deeply in her eye "It's ok Sam, am here this time. Everything is back to normal now"

"I know. it's just… It was horrible Jack! I couldn't look myself in the mirror. I couldn't do anything in this house or anywhere else in that matter. It was… Oh my god I'm just glad it's over." by then she was fully broken down. He was holding her tightly in his arms and rubbing her shoulders. She was crying at the memory and he couldn't help the tears that gathered in his eyes at the sight of her so hurt. He couldn't stand how he made her feel. All the pain she had to endure all the grieving. He had left her alone! He's always thought that with his age and their careers he'd be the one left behind alone on earth while she pursued her career. He had caused her unbelievable pain, pain he'd only known so well. He made her go through the worst thing one could possibly go through: loss. He knew it was out of his hands and it wasn't his fault but still it had to do with him, this is why there were tears in his eyes and by now on his cheeks, because he'd hurt the one he's loved most in his life. He was determined to make it up to her every second of every day till his last breath ( his really las breath not the probably many last ones before it!)

The tears on his cheeks ran down from there to land on her hair. And then some more followed landing on her shoulder and face only to combine with hers.

She looked up and saw the tears in his eyes. She'd nee seen him this way before. Now he'd completely let his guard down. Now he too had fully and completely surrendered to her. She felt more love inside for him than she ever knew she could. She had thought she had reached the highest level of love possible, but apparently she was mistaken. She was also hurt to see him so vulnerable and feeling guilty because of her. She knew what he was thinking and that nothing she could say would make him feel otherwise.

"Hold me, Jack! Hold me closer to your arms and never let me go. It's over now and we're together. We are in our home again, where we belong. This house will be happy again." She said ducking her head deeper inside his chest that she was so close snide him they were practically one. He held onto her like his whole life depended on her and kept on kissing her hair.

"I'm so sorry baby. I'm sorry for what…" he started saying between the frantic kisses he was now planting all over her.

"Don't even think about continuing talking… Continuing what you are doing on the other hand, is highly encouraged.."she said with a moan

"Sam I really…."he said seriously without letting go…

"Shhhhh…. Now it's my turn to take care of you, Jack O'Neill! And that's why am ordering you to kiss me as deep as you can and we'll head upwards from there…" she said in a seductive tone

"This i can easily do… but i believe i will be starting with the lips kissing and then heading downwards from there.."he said with a wink while touching her lovingly

"Why you naughty naughty man you!"she said mockingly

* * *

Later that night they were laying exhausted but glowing in bed.

"Well what did the little fellow think of this.." Jack asked proud of himself

"I think he or she and their mother is more than satisfied." while resting her head on his chest as they were both sleeping on the bed. She entwined their legs more deeply together and looked up at him without changing her position; she could barely see his face.

"Let's get married!" she said casually but excitedly

"Now?"he said sitting a bit up at her not knowing if she's serious or not.

"Yes! This weekend or so. Why wait till after the baby is born. Why wait and plan. Life's too short i wanna marry you. That's all i care about not the party and not the big white dress, these are just side dishes. I never cared for side dishes I cherish the main course more."

Now he was fully up looking at her. He was surprised, for sure but he was also delighted. He wanted to get married too. He didn't care about the big wedding. He'd done it before. And sure he wanted it more with Sam but getting married and calling her his wife, Colonel O'Neill- Carter was definitely more important.

"You better not be messing with me! Cause i'd get right up and take you to Vegas or any of those places and have you as my wife before the sun of tomorrow rises."

"Lead on cowboy!" she said full of joy… "But i think I'd rather wait for the weekend so we can have our close friends and family with us, don't you?"she said teasingly as if reminding him of something very important like only teachers and parents would.

"Ah! Good point ma'am next weekend it is Madame O'Neill!"

"I like the sound of that!"

Suddenly a white bright light appeared in the middle of the room and slowly the figure within it started to show: It was the Furlings leader…..

Both Jack and Sam looked up in surprise and grabbed the sheets quickly up to their necks.

"Hello, Jack O'Neill and Samantha Carter! Sorry for my untimely visit but I was waiting for this moment for a long time."he said and they were bit still staring at him in surprise that he was there in their bedroom and they were almost not clothed. He noticedtheir discomfort and looked down at the bedsheets hey were clinching tightly with their hand "Don't worry I'll be gone before you know it."he said and then he took out a golden device. It was round and looked like old pocket clocks only slightly bigger and with two golden sparkling balls hovering over it.

"This is the most advanced holomogrogram in the multiverse." he announced

"A what?" Jack asked with his jaw dropped.

Sam looked atheism and smiled at his usual stunt "It's kinda holographic device. Similar to the technology we retrofitted for our holographic device, remember you read the file?"

"Yeah! the one you fooled that bounty hunter with? Cool" he said sounding like an excited child.

"Exactly!" said the Furlings leader while looking proudly at Sam. "I know that after the circumstances you left our planet nag galaxy with last time, you wouldn't be keen to return there again, though you're mostly welcome."he paused for a second and studied both of them closely as heir faces showed clear discomfort and pain.

"That's why i brought you this device."

They looked at him quizzically

"Remember when you were in our planet both of you were dreaming of having your wedding there or in a similar place. And now both of you finally set a date for the wedding so I can give you the gift I'de prepared for you for so long: I programmed the whole wedding with decoration buffet scenery and even dress and tux inside the holomogrogram. You only need to open the lid when you are ready and the whole wedding will basically walk out of the device and set itself up. Waiters and service and even music are included."

Sam started opening her mouth to talk but the leader interrupted "Don't worry I chose everything according to your own desires." and the he turned to face Jack "Don't forget Jack I can read your minds" he said with a smile "And now I'll leave you to continue your night. Our two races will become more involved than you know it and soon we will be allis, you must be sure of that. But for now being friends will suffice. See Samantha? Things work out believe me, they always will for you two." and with that he disappeared in the same bright light he'd arrived in before the got the chance to open their mouth or thank him.


	27. The Big Day I

Chapter 27

Finally the big day is here!

All the invitation have been sent, all the preparations weren't made; they were given to them!

On this heavenly sunday afternoon all the guest were about to arrive.

The bride was in her room with a box in her hand.

The groom was right there beside her holding her hand.

The brother of the bride was talking to Daniel not believing his baby sister was getting married.

His wife was with the bride in her room, although there was nothing to prepare or no hair to fix.

Vala was in the room too trying to get the groom out of it, though there was still no wedding dress that he wasn't supposed to see.

The clock struck 3 p.m. and with that both Sam's and Jack's heart started beating more rapidly.

Jack tightened his grip on Sam's hand and she looked him in the eye.

With that he left the room to take his position outside, though he didn't exactly know which position he should take.

Sam asked her sister-in-law and her best friend to wait for her outside while she opened the box and got ready to walk out.

Her brother arrived in her room shortly after that to get ready to walk his baby daughter down the isle, if there were to be an isle that is!

Sam took a deep breath and had the brightest smile on her face as she grabbed the handle on the device in her hand and flung it open!

The wedding was ready!

The heavenly once in a lifetime was ready!

It was like nothing that ever was or that ever would be!

Like her ring the theme of the wedding was white, blue and baby blue.

The scenery was just like that of the Furrling's home planet: full of flowers (this time only white, blue and baby blue ones), trees of matching colors, lakes as far as he eye can see, a waterfall in the distance with water falling down like crystals in the sun, bright white clouds with Jack's and Sam's names on them and other congratulatory words and figures, the bright sun was shining but not too hot, the breeze was filling the air but not to cold, all sorts of birds were chirping bridal, romantic tunes, the fish were swimming in the water and jumping in tune across the lakes in a dance, the scent of lovely flowers was filling the air and the butterflies was flying around complementing the fish's dance and the birds' music. A rainbow was hugging this whole scenery from both it's edges and through the afternoon sky.

The decoration was of course matching the theme: there was a huge white arch in the middle back of the clearing in the sort-of forest, blue and baby blue flowers were entwined around the arch with little sparkling stones in the middle of all this. In front of the arch was a dance floor made by sparkling theme-colored soft beads. The high table that were floating in the air with no legs were scattered around the edges of the clearing with simple floating snow globes with the figurine of Jack and Sam as centre pieces. The waiters were all handsome young men dressed in white suits with hats. There was a music machine positioned next to the arch: it looked like an old-fashioned gramophone and it was floating above the ground making it look like a dream machine.

The groom was dressed in a dark blue tux with a baby blue tie. The bride was dressed in a strapless bright white dress with a baby blue sash underneath her breast to compliment her tiny figure. The dress was sparkling like Cinderella's dress from old fairytales, she even wore the same sparkling glass shoes, on top of her blonde curly hair lay a sparkling silver tiara with sapphire stones. The dress was also designed so it completely hid any signs of pregnancy. And luckily the clever baby knew better than to kick or play on a day like the one they were in. The maid of honor, Vala, was dressed in a light blue bridesmaid's dress that made her black her shine even more. Daniel was dressed in a blue tux and matching tie. He was looking at his girlfriend from across the isle so hard that his eyes were about to fall out. They too were in love and they were both wondering when their day would finally come.

For any uncleared visitor who would ask, the wedding was prepared using an advanced holograph and virtual reality technology (which was kind of the truth ;D )

Mark walked his sister down the glitter-filled flying isle, or rather he stood there with her while the isle walked them towards her soon-to-be husband.

The soon-to-be husband was almost out of breath at the sight of his enchanting and charming wife. Her blue eyes were sparkling like the stars and as he locked his gaze with their's they were so deep and infinite as the ocean. She was returning his look also admiring the depth of his sparkling brown eyes with the smile lingering somewhere behind them. They both had matching bright smile on their face so that their teeth were reflecting the sun's light. The were both taken aback by the beauty and shine of their respective partner and they were both literarily glowing from the overwhelming moment they were in.

As the isle reached a stop and while Mark was handing his daughter to his future brother-in-law he had to fight a tear from his eye as he kissed his sister and whispered in her ears "Dad, knew he was the one! He's looking down at you right now with a proud smile."

By then the tears Sam had been trying to keep from falling were already on her cheek "I wish he were there!" she whispered

As soon as Jack pulled her close to himself and gave her a quick peck on her head, he whispered in her ears "Don't worry baby, your dad is with us and he's proud of you."

She looked at him again surprised how he could always read her mind.

"You look breathtaking. Like a princess from a fairytale." he continued whispering in her ear so that the air from his breath tickled the side of her face, causing her to be flushed and aroused.

"I love you."she said breathlessly

"I love you even more!"

General Landry who was officiating the ceremony by authorization of the state cleared his throat to signal the start of the ceremony.


	28. The Big Day II

Chapter 28

"We are assembled here to celebrate the joining of Lieutenant General Jonathan J. O'Neill and Brigadier General Samantha Carter in the unity of marriage. This is a ceremony in which we all have a part. We are here both as witness to these vows and to celebrate their partnership. There are no obligations on earth or on any other planet fir that matter more sweet or tender than those you are about to assume.

In the final accounting, love is what life is all about. Love is many things. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. Love is not rude, nor self-seeking. Love is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes and always perseveres. The fulfillment of love in marriage symbolizes one of life's highest experiences.

As all those who know me are well aware I do appreciate a good quotation, especially in moments like this. So I have decided to quote a Sonnet that is well-known and that also happens to be the bride's favorite poem:

Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments. Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:

O, no! It is an ever-fix'd mark,

That looks on tempests and is never shaken;

It is the star to every wandering bark,

Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.

Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks

Within his bending sickle's compass come;

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,

But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

If this be error and upon me prov'd,

I never writ, nor no man ever lov'd.

There are no vows more solemn than those you are about to make. There is no human institution more sacred than that of the home you are about to form. It should be entered into reverently, thoughtfully, and with full understanding of its sacred nature. If you have anything to say to your partner you may say it now under the witness of all those you hold dear to you."

Sam started to open her mouth to explain that they hadn't prepared any vows when Jack talked looking into her eyes

"I know we said no vows but there are words inside me that I need to say:

I won't say I'll love you till the end of time

Coz we've been there more than anyone knows

I won't say I can't believe you're finally mine

Coz you've been mine forever like the whole multiverse shows

Am not gonna say it's impossible that I fall out of love with u

Coz we know that impossible is an non existent word

Am not gonna say our love is as visible as the wavelegth of blue

Coz even physics as we knew it has changed as I heard

Won't say as long as the sun rises from the east

Coz I know places where that too has changed

Won't say as long as my heart beats

Coz it has often stopped along the way as I aged

But I will say,

no matter where we are, in this reality or in any other,

no matter when it is, past present or future,

No matter how fast or slow time goes, if it even does at all,

No matter in what form you or I would be, invisible, liquid, robotized, ascended and all the other life forms out there,

No matter how extremeley old or young we become

No matter what messes around with our heads

I will be there for you

I will cherish you

I will give my life for you over and over again

And most importantly I will repeatedly fall in love with you, until every single photon, lepton and quarks if you will has been rendered inert, and even after that!"

Tears were glowing in his eyes and in hers by the end of his sweet little poem. Most of the guests had tears in their eyes, too; especially those who knew the Colonel with his military bravado.

Sam was glowing in red with tears burning in her eyes and with her breath taken by her lover, again.

"Wow… after that I don't know what to say.." she said looking at him as if there was no one else in the place but them. When she was looking in his eyes it was like the whole universe disappeared and only they were left.

"You don't have to say anything baby, just hold me in you arms and kiss me!"

"I think you'll have to hold your breath for a minute before kissing her, Jack, this is a wedding you know." General Landry said with a smile "Well if that's it I would…"

"No wait General, I have something to say to this enchanting man over there, though you'll all need to excuse my improvising, I'm not as poetic as Prince Charming." she said turning to the guests. And then she returned her glance to her almost husband and looked in so deep he felt she was seeing through to his soul and even beyond that.

"When I think about what I can say to you to describe my love, I find my mind struggling which is rare. Your love is one of the few mysteries I can't solve and even more it's the only mystery I don't wanna solve. Your love is precious just the way it is, I don't need to understand it, for once I am satisfied by only feeling it, cause feeling it is overwhelming enough.

As I stand here I don't know if I should talk about your eyes: those deep brown sparkling eyes with the smile hidden just around the corner behind them. Those eyes where I can see my reflection when I look at you. Those eyes that talk to me and let me know just what you want and what you're feeling. Your eyes that understand me and see though me like I'm an open book.

Or should I talk about your arms: Your strong arms that hold me whenever I need them and that have saved my life so many times. Your arms that you always use to help people and to guide them as the strong leader that you are.

Or should I talk about your words: your wise funny words. The words you say when you wanna ease a tough situation with a funny joke, even when it's not entirely appropriate. Your words that are so simple an yet are mostly the key to solving the most complicated problems. Your words that are always thought through even if you don't wanna let on to how well thought through they are. Your words that are always exactly what I need to hear.

Or should I talk about your heart: your safely kept deep precious heart. Your heart that doesn't open up easily but when it does it is capable of giving the whole world. Your heart that is so loving kind and strong that everybody loves it, especially me.

You are my home, your whole body is where I live. When I'm with you, standing close to you, like I am right now, I don't even find the need to talk cause I can feel you connected to me on a subatomic level. Jack O'Neill, you are all the man I need!"

With that Jack leaned over her and planted a passionate kiss on her lips before the General reminded him that he still had to wait.

"Sorry, I just had to.." he said with a smile

"I bet you did, son." the general said with a smile proud of the lovely couple in front of him

"So without further ado, because as you see our couple is running out of self control and patience I would like to commence with the ceremony:

Lieutenant General Jonathan J. O'Neill will you take Brigadier General Samantha Carter, choosing her alone to be your wedded wife? Will you live with her in the state of true matrimony? Will you love her, comfort her, honor her at all times and be faithful to her?"

"I do!" Jack said without taking his eyes off his love.

"Brigadier General Samantha Carter, will you take Lieutenant General Jonathan J. O'Neill, choosing him alone to be your wedded husband? Will you live with him in the state of true matrimony? Will you love him, comfort him, honor him at all times and be faithful to him? "

"I do!" she said not able to hide her ever growing grin and her redly burning face while she dreamingly looked at Jack.

"The exchange of rings symbolized the sacred bond that exists between you. As the circle of these rings knows no end, so may the love declared here today never end and forever be renewed.

Lieutenant General Jonathan J. O'Neill, place the ring on Brigadier General Samantha Carter's finger and repeat after me. I, Lieutenant General Jonathan J. O'Neill, take you Brigadier General Samantha Carter to be my wife, to love and to cherish from this day forward."

While putting the white golden with sapphires wedding band on Sam's fingers he repeated: "I, Lieutenant General Jonathan J. O'Neill, take you Brigadier General Samantha Carter to be my wife, to love and to cherish from this day forward." with a super flash colgate-commercial smile.

"Brigadier General Samantha Carter, place the ring on Lieutenant General Jonathan J. O'Neill's finger and repeat after me. I Brigadier General Samantha Carter, take you Lieutenant General Jonathan J. O'Neill to be my husband, to love and to cherish from this day forward."

While looking him in the eyes and placing the wedding band on his fingers and almost forgetting to take a breath that he had to mouth to her "Breathe" so that her smile grew even bigger and she let out a chuckle, she repeated: "I Brigadier General Samantha Carter, take you Lieutenant General Jonathan J. O'Neill to be my husband, to love and to cherish from this day forward."

"Today we witnessed the vows that Lieutenant General Jonathan J. O'Neill and Brigadier General Samantha Carter made, but the true union between these two is a private union in their hearts.

In as much as Lieutenant General Jonathan J. O'Neill and Brigadier General Samantha Carter have this day consented together in the state of matrimony and have pledged their faith to each other, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the United States Air Force, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Jack, you may finally kiss the bride we know you are dying to."

With that the crowd watching broke into small laughs with the tears of joy lingering in their eyes.

Jack pulled Sam close to him and kissed her deeply and passionately on her lips, like no one was watching. The whole crowd started whooing and whistling but the newly-married couple couldn't be bothered. The kiss lasted almost forever. In between air gasps he'd tell her "I love you, wife!" and she'd reply "I love you, husband." and so on and so forth until he bent her down in the kind of kiss he'd only kiss her when he was stuck in the time loop and she'd never experienced. For her life couldn't get any better. This was heaven. This was how life was supposed to be.

After he helped her regain her posture her leaned down and kissed her stomach and she placed a loving hand on it and rubbed it. Yes, this was life. And when the baby comes their family would be complete.

And then the music for their first dance resounded in the air: "This moment in time" by Engelbert Humperdinck which was their favorite love song of all times.

As the music played and the birds, butterflies and fish accompanied the music the lovely wedded couple started swaying on the dance floor like no couple had ever danced before. And suddenly, as if they were in a fairytale cartoon or something, the whole place went dark except for where they were: a bright white and blue light was shining upon them and slowly they started floating above the ground and soaring in the air while dancing in each other's arms not noticing any of their surrounding.

It was a heavenly sight and all the guests were staring at the couple in awe admiring their love and the beautiful magical wedding.

The rest of the wedding reception was equally magical.

The wedding night that followed exceeded every magic and every fairytale and every love story that has ever been; it was a night that would go into love history; a night for eternity.

A night for love!


	29. Smooth Sailing?

Chapter 29

"Jack, wake up I think it's time."

Jack was awakened from the middle of his sleep. "Huh?" he asked barely opening his eyes.

"It's time Jack, the baby is coming!" Sam repeated while watching her sleepy child of a husband with a smile.

With that Jack was instantly brought to his feet. "What when! Are you okay? Is the baby okay? What should I do? I mean…. I'll get dressed."

"Deep breaths, remember? Just get dressed and I'll call Dr. Lam let her know we're coming." she said with a chuckle

"How far apart are you?" Jack asked more composed now that he was really awake and himself again.

"My contractions didn't start yet, but I sense it won't be long now." She said seriously

He just gave her a confused look

"I can't explain it, but I just know it's coming... The baby is kinda telling me..." she explained with an apologetic smile.

He just stared at her not knowing how to respond without sounding to cynical.

"I know what you're thinking Jack, but I just can't explain it. I assure you I'm not hallucinating." she said slightly hurt from her husband's reaction.

"I know baby, I'm not saying you are. It's just... It's... nothing I'll just get dressed and we'll see"

"Wow. You're really convincing Jack. Thanks for your support. Don't bother. I'll drive myself." she shouted while standing up

"Come on, Sam. I didn't mean it that way." he stood in front of her and put his hands on her shoulder. "I believe you, Sam. It's just you can't deny it's weird even for us. I know that this baby is different and special and that your labour will be far from normal but I just... It's different you know! and i don't wanna mess it up."

She just stood there in his grasp and rested her head on his chest.

"Am I forgiven, baby? I didn't mean to make you feel questioned or judged."

"I know, Jack. I know you didn't. It's just my hormones I guess. They make me..."

"Sensitive?" he completed her sentence with a smile

"That's one nice way of putting it." she smiled apologetically. "Sorry for bringing it on you... It's just as you said: different; and I need to get used to it, too."

"We'll get used to it together and we'll handle junior here perfectly."

"Yeah sure ya betcha!" she chuckled

"Nice call back Mrs. O'Neill!"

"They were nice times Mr O'Neill!"

"You can say that again." and then he looked more deeply in her eyes "I love you, you know that?"

"Of course I do, but I don't mind you reminding me. By the way i love you more."

"Hmmm... You do? Nice to know." he said from where he was lost inside her kiss.

* * *

"Did you call Dr. Lam?" Jack asked from where he sat on the bed to wear his shoes

"Yes, you put the baby stuff in the bag?" she said while checking her tummy in the mirror

"Yep, everything it set for the little guy."

"Who says it'll be a guy?" she teased

"Guy, gal who cares? As long as it's like it's mom, it's a heartbreaker." he said with his charming smile

"And hopefully it has it's dad's charm." she embraced her husband.

"So my fair lady, are we ready to head out?" he faked an old english accent

"Of course we are, my knight in shining armor." she replied in the same accent.

And with that he placed one hand behind her back and grabbed her shoulder with the other and with a swift move he swept her off her feet and had her carried like he did only a few nights before as they were returning from their enchanted wedding.

"Ohh!" she screamed in surprise

"Isn't that what knights are for?" he grinned proudly

"My hero!" she smiled sheepishly

* * *

"Jack?" she asked without opening her eyes. Her tender voice was filled with pain "It's coming. We need to get to the SGC" she was breaking up like an old radio

"I'm here, hon. I'm here. We'll get there as soon as possible." he tried to sound as casual as possible, he tried to hide the pain he was feeling, he tried to ignore it.

"What happened. Why did we stop."

"Nothing, Sam. It's nothing it's just a traffic jam. It'll be over soon, you just try to go back to sleep."

"Awwwww" she screamed in agony

"Hold on baby, am calling for help" his own physical pain was almost instantly gone and replaced by emotional pain for seeing her like that.

He reached for his phone but it was dead. He found hers dead as well. There was no way out from this. No one would find them, here. By the time help comes, she will be… they will be….. By the time help comes all this will be over.

He tightened the grip of his hand on hers and felt how she rested her head on his shoulder; only for a few seconds. Only for a few seconds, before she jumped off in her seat from the excruciating pain she was feeling. Only for a few seconds before he felt her whole body cramp up and he heard her let out another scream.

The screams became closer and each scream was weaker than the one before it and sounded more agonized. With each scream his heart broke just a bit more.

She was too weak to open her eyes. Had been since they left the house. And thank god for that. He thanked god, that she didn't open her eyes; he thanked him from the bottom of his heart. She didn't need to see this on top of all she's going through. She didn't need it at all.

"Jjjjack?" her voice had turned into a faint scared whisper now

"Yes, hon, yes, am right there" he asked gently trembling with worry and pain.

"I'm feeling cold and wet. I wanna go home…." it was clear she was hallucinating now; she had no idea where she was.

He reached over, trying hardly not to scream in agony, to cover her with his jacket.

That when he saw it:

There was blood all over her seat and on the ground of the car.

The blood was flowing from her lower part.

It was flowing fast!

Oh god! What am I gonna do?


	30. Just A Bump In The Unending Road

Chapter 30

This is a somewhat longer chapter as it's the Grand Finale! Hope you enjoy it and you enjoy the whole story.I'm sorry for the longer waits in between. thanks for baring out the cliffhangers with me, I know that I for one am one that gets really nervous waiting on the resolving of a cliffhanger, hope it was worth it. Hopefully next time I won't keep you waiting that long, if you'll read whatever it is am gonna right next.

* * *

Oh god, what am I gonna do? Jack was thinking to himself fighting his rising panic

How are we gonna get out of here, he was using all his remaining energy to try and figure out a plan

Where exactly is here? resounded a sound in his head

How did we get here? What happened? he was fighting to keep his head clear

He was fighting to remember what had happened and why he didn't remember

Then slowly it came back to him

Slowly it was all clear:

Last thing he remembered was carrying Sam to the car and heading towards the SGC then everything went black.

He woke up to find himself in the car, looking down at the streets leading to SGC, with Sam still lying unconscious in the passenger seat. The car was flying.

The headache he had, was worse than most of the ones he'd experienced in the past, and he'd experienced more than a few in his lifetimes.

He tried to wake Sam up but realized it was probably gonna take her a while to wake up, and after looking through the rear view mirror he was glad that she didn't wake up:

They were floating in the air due to being attached to the F703, the so called magnetizer.

But how? Why were they attached to it? Who would even have access to the magnetizer.

He was able to make out the uniform of one of the mans arming the magnetizer: rogue NID, not to his surprise!

His head was racing fast. How the hell did they put their hands on the magnetizer?

How did they figure out about it in the first place?

What did they want with it? Sam said it's power source was still far from stab….

And then he was stopped mid-thought by another thought: the power source wasn't stable!

Which meant it could be overloaded so it could reverse the magnetic effect by only another small reversely charged EM pulse

An EM pulse like maybe the one in this new prototype weapon thingy Sam had given him to try out.

Maybe if he were to reach out to the bag on the back seat and get the weapon, he could figure out how to charge it so that it would render the magnetizer inert….

Oh if only Sam were awake! He'd been working on the prototype supercharger for 4 minutes now without figuring out how to reverse the charge.

Then he corrected himself, thank god Sam isn't awake. Thank god she and the baby aren't caching any of this; it's the last thing she needs.

After a few more trials the supercharger was glimmering in green to indicate being charged. In one more minute it would release it's charge and hopefully they'll escape from the magnetizers grip.

Then, when Sam and the baby were safe and sound in the hospital, he'd deal with these NID agents once and for all; or so he thought.

BOOOOOM

The supercharger released it's charge, instantly switching off the magnetizer's magnet and releasing the car into a free fall to the rocky ground in the middle of nowhere

* * *

"I'm telling you general, this is definitely the NID's work. I know it." Daniel was using his upset investigative tone

"I assure you Dr Jackson, I hate the NID as much as you do and I've sent a team to investigate them as we speak. But we cannot rule out other suspects just because we hate the NID." Landry responded calmly

"Sir, with all due respect, I agree with Jackson. The NID is the most likely suspect. And from what I've read in the reports they will deny any knowledge of the operation if it's even an official one." Colonel Mitchell joined in

"I agree, son, my guess is that it's a rogue operation. But what would they want with a still unstable device that doesn't even have a superdrive yet."

"They wanna get hold of the only two people, who can help them make it fully operational and who have all the knowledge of the SGC." Agent Barrett made his entrance, turning all the heads on the meeting table to the stairs

"You mean…" Daniel's face suddenly went pale

"They want…." Teal'c raised his eyebrows

"Yes, am sorry, I'm afraid they're after Generals O'Neill and ,ahem, O'Neill…"

* * *

Jack just sat there looking at the blood flowing from his wife.

He had o do something. He had to call for help before looses them both.

He tried to unfasten his seatbelt but the pain from his chest and shoulders was excruciating. He couldn't muffle the pain that escaped his mouth causing his wife to open her eyes and temporarily regain the sense of the now.

"Oh my god Jack! Where are we what happened?" her voice was trembling and reflected how weak she was. But at least for now the pain has milded down enabling her to open her eyes and make some conversation

"It's nothing honey, it'll be over soon don't worry."

"Where are we Jack? Oh god, you're bleeding." she said motioning at his head. He touched his head only realizing he was bleeding due to the fluid that met his fingers.

"It's nothing, it's just a…. scratch." he said tightening his hand on his chest

"No Ja…" and with that she lost consciousness again, letting her head tilt forward.

Her face was completely pale now almost as white as snow. She was bleeding out and he was doing nothing to stop it.

It was getting harder to think clearly now. He could feel himself slipping away, he too was also bleeding out.

No, I can't fall asleep, I can't. I need to get them out of here. I need to save them.

I need to find a way to call for help.

And before he could reach for his cell phone again, another wave of blackness came over him.

Before he was completely overwhelmed by blackness, flashes of how they got here were running in his mind:

The car hit the ground very strongly, causing all the tires to get crushed and they were touching the ground with their seats.

Sam as moaning in pain but she was clearly still out. She was cramped up and her whole body was shaking, her hand on her stomach.

His left leg was trapped underneath the wheel compartment, he could still feel it but this didn't last very long.

when he tried to move to try ad free his leg and check on Sam's pulse and the baby's movement he realized-due to the tremendous pain- that he'd probably cracked a few ribs, again. He also noticed that his left shoulder was most likely dislocated, again.

That also meant that he was going to bleed internally really soon.

He could see that Sam was in pain but that she had to visible trauma.

He tried to get her conscious by stroking her hair with his right arm and by gently moving it on her cheek.

But then another wave of blackness overcame him; just like the one that almost fully consumed him now.

* * *

"They're not answering. Both their phones are out of service. I'm afraid we're too late." Daniel said from where he stood over the phone

The general entered with a frown on his face "Carol said that General Carter, I mean, General O'Neill, called her about 3 hours ago to inform her that they were on their way for her delivery."

"Sam's in labor?" Daniel was now in full panic mode

"I'm afraid she is." Landry was clearly concerned.

"We need to find them." Daniel was already running to the computer

"You have and idea?" Vala asked also worried

"Yes. Sam said that the magnetizer releases subwavic magnetic particles that leave a trace in the air. They were interfering with the supercharger prototype and she wasn't able to get a clear reading. I believe that I can use her notes to tweak the UAV's sensor to trace these particles. But I'm gonna need Dr Lee's help." Daniel started blurting out with his super speech speed

"I'm on it." the General was already on the phone "Dr Lee to the meeting room immediately, Dr Lee to the meeting room."

* * *

Once again Jack regained consciousness, only to find himself trapped with his family in their car in the middle of nowhere.

By the amount of blood on the ground underneath Sam, he guessed that he probably wasn't out very long.

It also seemed like the bleeding has stopped for now.

But this was more than he could say about himself, as he coughed to find blood flying out from his mouth and on the glass infront of him. He had to hurry.

He reached for his cell phone, taking in all the pain in a silent scream.

He wasn't surprised to find no signal.

Come on Jack, think of something!

Walking out of here to get help was clearly not a option:

A- His leg was trapped and he no longer feels it, which made him doubt if it's even still attache dot his body.

B- He could barely stay conscious for 10 minutes

C-He has no idea where the hell they were

D- He couldn't leave Sam alone, with the baby ready to pop out any second now

He was sure there were more reasons but he was too in pain to figure them out now.

So what can I do?

I clearly need to get some help, but I can't go get it and I also can't call for it, as these stupid things don't work.

What would Sam do. Come on, think! What would she do?

She'd definitely try to get the cell phone to work by tinkering around or figure out some way to sendoff a signal to tip off anyone to our position, hopefully not the bad guys!

This thought trigged another flashback of the day's events to pop into his head:

The magnetizer the bad guys were flying couldn't handle the supercharger's charge and started accumulating heat which caused it to blow up in the air just a few seconds after their car had hit the ground, which meant the bad guys were probably no longer an issue.

Come on Jack, concentrate on the issue at hand. He ket trying to keep himself together and his head in what he was doing.

His family depended on him.

So how can I sneer d a signal strong enough for someone to see it or get this phone to work.

Think! he kept ordering himself.

Then an idea popped into his head, it was something he'd seen on their newly found favorite show: Macgyver.

They had both started watching it one night as it was the only interesting thing playing, and it was love at first time.

The two of them found themselves enjoying this series almost as much as he enjoyed the Simpsons and she enjoyed romantic movies and cartoons. From then on they had bought all the series and watched it almost through.

He used one of Macgyver's tricks to send out a signal using some pieces from the cell phone that now lay disassembled in his lap and the car's radio.

He flickered thought the radio's channel's till he found the right channel to boost the signal from the SOS message he spoke into the phone's mic.

The message was interrupted by several bloody coughs before the weakness and pain he was feeling was too overwhelming for him to be able to continue speaking

"Jack?" Sam was between sleeping and waking up

"Yes, hon?"he said as casually as he could, thank god she's still able to speak

"Ccccold… Pain…." she managed weakly

"I know honey, I know. It'll be over soon. Help's on it's way." he was caressing her cheeks with his hands.

And then he moved his hands slowly over to her stomach "Hang on in there little one, I'll get you out of here. I'll get you both out of here."

It was then that he felt the baby move underneath his hands and saw how the blood commenced to fall from his wife.

Underneath all the blood was a barely visible figure.

Jack's heart almost stopped when he saw it:

The baby's bloody head was showing from his wife's cervix

The baby was coming.

It was coming now.

God help me!

* * *

"God where the hell did they take them." Daniel was walking around the streets following the UAV he was steering, clearly loosing his patience.

"I'm sure we will find them soon Daniel Jackson." reassured Teal'c who was equally worried about his family

"Soon is not soon enough! Sam doesn't have that kind of time. Who knows where they are by now!"

"They can't have gotten far, Daniel. the magnetizer flies almost slower that the UAV. they can't be far now." Cam was trying to stay calm "I mean we've been lucky we picked up the magnetizer's trace near their house. We've been tracing it for an hour now, we can't be that far away now."

"I sure hope you're right!" Daniel was still pissed off. "God am gonna kill those NID guys. I swear if they touched one hair of either of them or harmed the baby am gonna kill them." his eyes were glimmering with tears- of anger and of fear.

"Don't worry Danny. They're tough they'll surely hang in there. And if those NID touch them, it's gonna be me who will kick them to death." Vala tried to console her love and herself for that matter for their best friends.

"Daniel Jackson!" Teal'c was shouting from the edge of the road "We found them they're there."

"Over here! Over here!" Daniel shouted out to the Med team accompanying them and to Dr Lam.

* * *

"Good morning , sunshine!" Jack's voice resounded as soon as Sam's eyes started struggling to get themselves opened.

"Hhhey! Whhat happened" her voice was still breaking up but it was clearly less more in pain

"Nothing, it's fine. It's all just fine now. We got through it hon.

Her eyes were open now and she was surprised to see that her husband's voice came from the infirmary bed next to her.

She was still a bit shaken and confused but the faint memory of the past morning's events were slowly returning to her

"The baby?" she asked in fear while reaching for her stomach

"She is just perfect! A sweet little angel with her mama's eyes!" Jack reached his hands to touch hers. He'd bribed he nurse to push their beds closer to each other.

A small tired but delighted smile appeared on Sam's face "She, hmmm? Guess it's a gal after all."

"The best ere, after her mum that is"!

She adjusted herself in her bed to face him "And you my hero? How are you feeling?"

"All better my fair princess. Just a few cracked ribs, a dislocated shoulder and a leg with shredded bones. Nothing the doc couldn't fix. Thank god you were out through the whole thing, or you'd have tried to splint me like you did so many years ago…"

She started to giggle which clearly put her in pain "No giggling, Jack please." she said to him in the same manner he'd told her the same words more than 10 years ago.

"Sorry hon!" he joked

"I wanna see my little girl." she said delighted of the words leaving her mouth: my little girl. She had a girl. A girl of her own. A girl from the love of her life. They were finally a family. Despite all they've been through they made it.

"Ay, ay captain!" he mocked a salute "Just turn around and say the magic words!"

She slowly turned to face the other side, and there she was: a sweet little angel lay beside her sucking it's cute little pink thumb

This pink little creature was her's and it was perfect. She was perfect.

"Jack…"

"Yes, hon, all the tests came back clean. She's as healthy as the most healthy normal human kid out there."he answered before she could ask

"Human?"

"Fully human, with just a strong ancient gene and probably an IQ higher than her mother's"

"Oh Jack! She's perfect! Just perfect. And she's our little girl!"

"Yes she is. She's our angel. She made us complete. It doesn't get better than this!"

"A family." Sam said enjoying every letter of the word

"A happily forever after little family." he got off the bed and supported himself on the bed rim till he was positioned between Sam's and the baby's bed

"Stella?" he suggested looking from his wife to his baby girl

"Stella O'Neill. Our star on earth!" she said reached over to caress her baby's face

Jack put one hand on her's and the other stroked his girl's few hair strains.

"I love you. I love you both so much."

"We love you more, Jack. you're our hero, my knight in shining armor."

"I wouldn't have forgiven myself if I'd let anything happen to you." he was overwhelmed by emotions that were visible in his eyes

"You didn't Jack, you save us, just like you always did. It really doesn't get better than this. I love you, Jack O'Neill"

"Me too,Samantha O'Neill till the end of times."

And as both their lips touched each other without letting go of their baby's touch they felt a spark of love run from their hands to their lips and through their whole body.

They both knew what it was saying: "I love you mom and dad. from all my heart and quarks. And believe me when I till you this: from now and till the end of times we'll be happily together. The best is yet to come! This I know."

They both looked down at their miracle of a child "We love you more Stella!"

The picture was complete!

The picture was perfect!

And as Stella said it even gets better than this!


End file.
